


The Good Alpha

by varietyhour



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Chastity Device, Dom/sub Undertones, Drama & Romance, Ethical Dilemmas, M/M, Rituals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-05-10 03:35:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 79,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14729196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/varietyhour/pseuds/varietyhour
Summary: But alphas weren't really like wolves... They could be selfish, scheming, domineering; in fact, Johnny thought that comparing them to wolves would be an insult to wolves.Uncomfortable with the inequality between alphas and omegas, Johnny rejects his privileged life as an alpha and abandons his friends. But even as he tries to live in the outside world, he is still haunted by the memory of his first love.





	1. The Party

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing this kind of longfic, so any feedback is welcome.

Alphas were like wolves, Johnny thought as they approached the front door. Behind that door they would be waiting, crouching, reading to attack, teeth and claws bared. He thought he could already detect the scent of danger.

But alphas weren't really like wolves, that was a common misconception. Alphas were just people, with slightly modified genetics and hormones, but people nonetheless. They could be selfish, scheming, domineering; in fact, Johnny thought that comparing them to wolves would be an insult to wolves.

Sensing that he was nervous, Taeil held his hand. "How bad can it be?" he asked. "After all, they're your friends."

"They _were_ my friends," Johnny said. "But I haven't seen any of them in three years."

"But if they didn't want to see you tonight, they wouldn't have invited you."

They had arrived at the front door, but Johnny couldn't move so Taeil pressed the doorbell for him.

It was Doyoung that answered. He and Johnny locked eyes for three seconds before either spoke.

"You came," Doyoung said at last.

Johnny cleared his throat. "Your engagement. Congratulations."

Doyoung only nodded in reply.

Taeil had slipped away to quickly remove his shoes and coat. It seemed as though Doyoung hadn't noticed him. He brushed Johnny's arm and whispered he would get a drink, not wanting to interfere with their reunion.

"Who was that?" Doyoung asked, looking back a second later.

"My boyfriend."

"Oh."

"Ten said it was fine if I brought him."

"Right. Of course." He drew a breath. "So. Are you coming back for real?"

"I'd say my feelings about everything haven't really changed."

"Then why did you come tonight?" Doyoung's look had turned accusing. Johnny stared into his slanted eyes, and he couldn't help but feel warm at how they were so familiar. His elegant eyes and high forehead gave him a dignified air, but this clashed with his slightly large front teeth that gave him something of a cute and goofy look. Johnny was relieved to find he hadn't changed at all.

"To tell the truth... I missed you guys." Johnny almost choked on the last word. He noticed Doyoung's lips twitch into a brief smile.

"We used to be so close, in the old days."

"I know. You, me, Yuta..."

"Yuta just got here before you."

Johnny nodded. His chest was full of butterflies. They moved into the living room and Doyoung raised his hand to catch Yuta's attention and beckon him over.

Taeil returned from the drinks table, a glass of wine in each hand. He handed one to Johnny then slipped beside him, keeping his head down. Taeil always got nervous at social events, especially when he didn't know anyone, and Johnny was hyper-sensitive to his discomfort. He briefly touched Taeil's hand to reassure him.

Yuta finally came over too, his head looking down into his glass. His longish hair hung over his eyes like a curtain. The four of them stood stiffly in a circle.

"I suppose I should introduce you," Johnny said, putting on his bright voice - the one he used whenever he had to meet a client. "This is my partner, Mun Taeil."

"Nice to meet you," Taeil said, then quickly took a sip of his drink to hide his embarrassment.

Doyoung watched him with a mixture of confusion and suspicion. "Why are you drinking?" he asked.

Taeil blushed and lowered his glass. "It's okay. I didn't drive here, Johnny and I took the subway."

Yuta was staring at Taeil too now, but he smiled suddenly. "Omegas are forbidden to drink in the presence of alphas. But -" (He turned to Doyoung) "Look, he's obviously a _beta!_ "

Doyoung nodded. "Of course. I'm sorry."

Johnny glared at them both. "The hell is wrong with you guys?" He took hold of Taeil's hand. "Come on, Taeil, let's go."

He pulled Taeil away from Yuta and Doyoung, but Taeil resisted when he headed for the door. "Johnny, wait. I haven't even finished this drink."

Johnny turned back and gave him an apologetic smile. "You're right, I'm sorry. Let's stick to this corner." They were alone by the window, and out of the general earshot of the party guests.

"Why were you so angry anyway? What did they call me? Beta?"

"Beta, yeah. It just means you're a normal person."

Taeil smiled. "Normal person. That's not something I hear every day."

"It's not a bad thing at all. It's not rude to call you a beta, it was just rude to make you feel uncomfortable like that. It's typical of alphas to be hostile to outsiders. They really think they're better than everyone else." Johnny sighed. "I kind of expect it from Doyoung, because he's always been so old fashioned, but Yuta... that annoyed me even more."

Taeil raised his eyebrows. "Yuta? That was Nakamoto Yuta? I didn't recognise him. He looks different in real life compared to the TV."

Johnny realised that something about Yuta did seem a little different tonight, something was off. But he hadn't met Yuta in a long while, and he never watched TV. He pushed the thought away. "I'm sorry you got a bad first impression of him."

"Is Lee Taeyong also here?"

Johnny's heart thumped in his chest. The very sound of that name made him feel sick, and although he couldn't admit it to Taeil, Lee Taeyong was the person he dreaded seeing the most. He looked around quickly. The party was small; there were only two clusters of people standing in the living room and he couldn't identify Taeyong in either.

"I can't see him anywhere."

"To be honest, I'm a bit relieved. I'd hate to make a fool of myself in front of another celebrity."

Johnny squeezed his hand. "Trust me, you have nothing to feel embarrassed about."

It was actually kind of surreal to Johnny that Taeil considered Yuta and Taeyong to be "celebrities." Although he was aware they had both become famous after he left, Yuta as a soccer player and Taeyong as a model, he had purposely avoided seeing them on TV and he could only think of them as he remembered them, as his two old friends. But Yuta indeed seemed different, and perhaps Taeyong would be too.

Their solitude was ended when someone from the party broke away to greet them. Johnny was tense, but immediately relaxed when he saw that it was Ten. Ten smiled so brightly when he saw Johnny, and Johnny knew that he wouldn't let him down.

Ten greeted Johnny with a hug. He immediately turned to Taeil and hugged him too, taking Taeil a little off guard, and he had to awkwardly hold up his drink.

"You must be Johnny's new boyfriend."

"Um, I guess. Not really new. We've been together for a year."

Ten slapped Johnny's arm. "You should have introduced us earlier!" For some reason he was purposely avoiding the fact that Johnny had been completely MIA for the last three years. Johnny couldn't help but feel some admiration for Ten's impressive social skills.

"This is Mun Taeil."

Ten smiled warmly at him. "Johnny and I have been friends for many years. But he's a hard man to find these days." He squeezed Taeil's arm. "But it's so great to finally meet you."

"To be honest, I'm feeling a little out of place." Taeil paused. "I'm a-uh beta."

"I know! But I understand what you mean. I'm actually feeling a bit hungry, would you like to come to the kitchen with me?"

Ten started to walk away and beckoned him to follow. Taeil looked to Johnny. "Are you coming too?"

"Uh, I think he means he wants to speak to you alone. I'll just wait out here."

Taeil looked confused, but he agreed and followed Ten to the kitchen. Johnny sighed, and then realised with some dread that he was alone with the alphas again.

 

* * *

 

The kitchen was separated from the living room. Ten closed the kitchen door behind him, then went to open a window. Taeil cautiously took a seat. 

There was something graceful and charming about Ten, even just in the way he moved around the kitchen, you could tell there was something special about him. Omegas were known for being beautiful. So many of them were famous these days.

Ten ignored him for a moment, as he fumbled through the fridge. He pulled out a bowl and put it in the microwave. As he waited, he turned around to talk to Taeil.

"So what's it like dating Johnny?"

Taeil tapped his fingers on the table. He wondered if this was some sort of interview. "Uh, well... it's pretty great I guess. I mean, he makes a lot of bad jokes, but he's good at hugs, a good listener and he makes pretty good ramyeon too."

Ten smiled as Taeil spoke, as though Taeil's comments about Johnny were delightful to him. "He's a really good person. He's always been like a teddy bear."

"I think I'm pretty lucky to have him."

"But what's he like in bed?"

Taeil was too shocked to answer. The microwave beeped, momentarily saving him from this embarrassment. Ten took his bowl and sat down across from Taeil at the table.

"Did I embarrass you?"

"Ah, no... I just..."

"It was just that I thought it would be hard for a beta to handle an alpha's body."

Taeil finally understood what he meant, and the embarrassment increased three fold. "Well, to be honest, we don't really do all that..."

"Oh! I see." Ten didn't ask him any more about it. He started eating from his bowl, a mix of rice and vegetables.

"Why are you eating in here?" Taeil asked him. "Do you have dietary requirements?"

Ten frowned at him, then laughed. "I'm sorry. I forgot you probably don't know these things. Omegas never eat or drink in front of alphas."

"Why is that?"

"It's just manners, I suppose. Like how you take your shoes off before you come inside."

"But if it only applies to omegas, that doesn't seem fair."

"It's about showing alphas that you can control your desires and urges, a sort of discipline." He paused. "But of course, it's not fair. Many things between alphas and omegas are not fair." He smiled, sort of coquettishly, as he said this.

"I know. That's the only thing Johnny has told me about you guys."

"I'm not surprised. Johnny was really critical of all that stuff, even of alpha omega relationships in general."

"He told me that's why he left."

"Hmm." Ten stirred the spoon around the bowl to pick up the last grains of rice. He had eaten very quickly. "He really didn't tell you anything else?"

"Not really. He doesn't like to talk about the past."

Ten was silent for a moment, and a sort of sadness touched his features. Taeil realised that Ten was probably upset to know that Johnny never talked about him, but at the same time Taeil felt envious of Ten, since Ten knew all about the other life of Johnny that had been kept a secret from him. Taeil was tempted to press him for more information, but he wasn't very good at making conversation and he didn't want to sound awkward.

He noticed that Ten was touching a thin, gold chain that hung around his neck. It came down low enough to slip beneath his button-up shirt. He then noticed the ring on his finger, and sighed with relief that he had found an avenue for conversation.

"That's your engagement ring, right?"

Ten smiled and held out his hand so that Taeil could see it. It was a simple gold band with a stone in the centre. It matched the colour of the necklace.

"Congratulations."

"Thank you."

"How long have you been with your partner?"

"Since university. We've been living together for almost three years now. I've wanted to get married for so long, but we've had to wait."

"What for?"

"The Alpha Council has to approve the marriage license. Now that Doyoung's brother-in-law is on the council, I think we'll get it soon."

Ten's fiancé entered the kitchen just at that moment. Ten straightened his back and smiled as the man came to stand beside him, putting a hand on his shoulder. Taeil recognised him as the tall and thin man that he had met earlier.

"Are you okay out here? You've been gone a while."

"I had my dinner. I was just talking to Johnny's partner. Have you met Taeil?"

Doyoung gave Taeil a brief smile. "We were introduced before." He turned back to Ten and gently tugged his arm. "I think you should come out now."

"But Taeil and I haven't really talked for very long. I didn't even ask him what he does for a living."

Doyoung looked at him expectantly, and Taeil awkwardly cleared his throat. "I'm just a librarian."

Ten stood up. He gave Taeil another warm smile. "It was really great talking to you. We should meet up again soon."

 

* * *

 

Johnny stood alone by the drinks table, keeping to himself as best as he was able. He discretely scanned the party again. It was a small party, suspiciously small he thought, since he seemed to remember Ten having many omega friends. The guests seemed to be mostly alphas.

Taeyong's absence was notable. Why wasn't he with Yuta?

Johnny soon found himself with Yuta, who had come over to inspect the drinks table. He chose a glass of wine, then stepped back. He didn't look at Johnny, but acknowledged that Johnny was staring at him by saying, "you seem lost."

"I'm not lost, I was just figuring out if there was anyone here that I know. Seems a bit small for an engagement party."

"You're right. It's not really an engagement party, since Ten and Doyoung haven't been successful in getting a license yet. I think the purpose of the party was to get you to come."

"Really?"

Yuta was rocking on his heels as he sipped his from glass. He had a sort of vague look behind his eyes. Johnny realised that this was what was different about him - Yuta was usually so animated and attentive. He was about to ask him if he was feeling okay, when he remembered the annoyance he had caused earlier with Taeil.

"Thanks for being so rude to Taeil before. I expect that from Doyoung, but not you."

This time Yuta looked up from his glass. He set his heavy eyes on Johnny's. "Huh? What do you mean? I don't care if you're dating a beta. You know I don't care about that stuff."

"Look, he's obviously a beta - you were kind of being a dick."

"Ah, you know me. Sometimes dumb stuff just comes out of my mouth. I'm sorry."

Johnny rolled his eyes, but he couldn't help but feel a little pang of affection for Yuta. It was the way he said, "you know me," because once upon a time they knew each other better than anyone. But that was the Old Yuta that Johnny knew - the one who always made him climb up the maple tree beside their old house and sat with him telling stories, the one who was always begging people to race him on the soccer field, the one who was always getting into trouble, doing something daring just because he wanted to cheer everyone up. Johnny was feeling sentimental all of a sudden. Just the sudden appearance of Yuta had caused this to rise up inside of him.

The New Yuta was rocking in front of him, drinking wine. Johnny remembered that the Old Yuta hated wine. The New Yuta was someone Johnny had seen only briefly in magazines, on the television, like a ghost apparition of his former best friend.

He finally had to get it out. "Where is Taeyong?" he asked, his voice wavering slightly at the rise of the question.

Yuta stared at a spot on the wall. "I don't know."

"Don't know? Did you see him go out?"

"No, I mean, he didn't come to the party. I haven't seen him in two days."

"Are you still together?"

"Well, technically, officially... yes."

"And that means...?"

Yuta sniffed and put his glass back on the table. He didn't answer the question. He chose to keep looking at the wall as he talked. "You know the one thing they never taught us how to do was how to break up. In all of our education, they only teach us about bonding and mating and training. They assume you meet one person and stay with them forever."

"I guess that's the whole point of bonding, isn't it?"

Yuta looked at him and smiled. "You know it doesn't work in practice. No amount of bonding, spiritual, physical or otherwise, would have been enough for me and Taeyong. The whole thing was wrong from the start."

Johnny was stuck for a reply. He had been absent so long and he had no idea that the relationship between Yuta and Taeyong had gone bad. Having been so absent from their lives, he was unqualified to comment. "I guess things don't always work out. It's nobody's fault."

Yuta snorted. "It was totally _your_ fault."

"My fault!" Johnny gasped and gaped like a fish. A swell of indignation rose up inside of him. "It's so like you to blame someone else for your own failings."

"Everybody knew that he was in love with you, and everyone thought that you two would end up together. It wasn't my fault that you had to go and decide that you were too good for us - _too good to be with an omega_. So I got to be the consolation prize."

"I've never thought I was too good for you! That's not what it was..."

Tears had started to form in Yuta's eyes. It was too late for Johnny to say anything now. Yuta was crying, very much in his usual passionate and sincere fashion.

As if summoned by the trouble, Doyoung appeared at his side, Ten and Taeil following quietly behind. Doyoung put his hand on Yuta's arm and said softly, "Yuta, you're drinking too much. You should go home now."

Yuta hung his head, resigned. "I'd rather go anywhere but home." He turned and bowed to Doyoung ironically. He then reached over to Ten and pulled him into a hug, burying his head into Ten's shoulder so long that Doyoung needed to nudge him away. "Okay, okay, I'm going. I'm sorry I ruined your party."

He hugged Taeil too, who was too dazed to react. "I'm sorry about before." He walked away without saying anything to Johnny.

Johnny was left feeling raw from the encounter, but relieved that Taeil was with him again. He took Taeil's hand. "Can we go now too?" he whispered.

 

* * *

 

When Johnny and Taeil were finally on the subway, Johnny put a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry if that was awkward."

Taeil gave him a kind smile. "It's okay, I'm used to awkward parties. Honestly, a thing like that has to be awkward. Sometimes you just have to deal with awkward situations."

Johnny sighed. "It's not just that it was awkward..."

"You have a problem with them, but they are your people. You need to meet them."

Johnny didn't like the way Taeil said "your people." It was as if he had already put a wall between them, Johnny on the side with the alphas and the omegas, Taeil on the side of the rest of the world.

"I suppose you're right. When I left I thought I was doing the right thing, but it's not like I achieved anything." He paused. "But thanks for coming anyway. You were a source of comfort."

Taeil clucked his tongue. "As long as I wasn't a source of embarrassment."

"Why do you say that? If anything, it was them I was embarrassed about showing you."

"You always say you are embarrassed about the alphas. But is that the real reason you never talk about them?"

Johnny paused. "Yes," he said, finally. "I hate them."

"I just feel as though there is a lot of your life that is secret from me. We've lived together for a while now, and you know pretty much everything about me. Before tonight, I'd never even met your best friends. I don't know about your childhood, how you grew up. Maybe it's selfish of me, but I think I deserve to know you better."

Johnny sighed. "I know. Ask me anything and I'll tell you."

Taeil moved in closer when more people got on. He said in a whisper, "show me something when we get home."

 

* * *

 

Johnny usually relished the feeling of coming home to their apartment. Taeil didn't exactly understand how Johnny had such attachments to certain places and objects, it was a kind of an alpha thing, and scents that were undetected by Taeil could rouse up great feelings of comfort or excitement in him. Their apartment was small, only a few rooms, but everything in it felt so strongly comforting to him.

Taeil asked Johnny to see the necklace that he kept in a case in his top drawer. They went straight to the bedroom and Johnny took it out to show him.

Taeil picked it up and held it to the light. It was a thin gold chain with a pendent hanging in the centre, about the size and shape of a 100 won coin. There were three Chinese characters engraved on it.

"It's my Korean name in Hanja," Johnny told him.

"I saw Ten wearing one of these at the party. It looked exactly the same."

"I received it at my coming of age ceremony. All the alphas get one."

Taeil held it up to Johnny's chest. "Why don't you wear it?"

Johnny chuckled softly. "No, we're not supposed to wear them. We're supposed to give it to an omega, and he wears it. It's like an owner putting their name on their pet."

"I think it's kind of romantic."

"I know you think the omegas are romantic, because you think they are glamorous."

"Aren't they? Ten seemed nice."

"He is really nice." Johnny picked up the necklace and put it back in its case. "I'm glad you got to meet him tonight. But you should have known what he was like back in school. He was so tough and feisty, all the alphas were intimidated by him. That was before Doyoung domesticated him."

"They seem like a happy couple."

"I know. People thought they were an odd match, but they've always been happy."

"Did you have feelings for Ten?"

"No. What makes you say that?"

"Well, you like him. And he's an omega... doesn't that mean his scent drives you wild?"

"It doesn't work that simply. First of all, we are sensitive to a lot of scents, not just omegas. Secondly, I can tell from Ten's scent that he's bonded to Doyoung. He kind of smells like Doyoung."

"That's interesting." Taeil yawned and started to take off his shirt. "Are you disappointed you didn't see Lee Taeyong?"

Johnny felt lost for words. "I suppose..."

Taeil went to the bathroom without saying any more. Johnny also started getting ready for bed, but his heart wouldn't rest. He couldn't stop thinking about Yuta, and his crying face.

_Everybody knew he was in love with you..._

He lay in bed waiting for Taeil, and when Taeil returned he rolled over and held him tightly.


	2. When Johnny Met Taeil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The love story of Johnny and Taeil.

_One Year Earlier_

Johnny stood in the hotel gallery with his hand on his pocket, looked around at all his associates dressed up in evening wear, and all he could think about was fucking. His phone felt heavy and itchy in his pocket, and he was dying to take it out and check it, check if any of the men who wanted to sleep with him were available tonight. This work party was so dreary. No one would notice if he took it out and checked his notifications, so what would be the harm?

It was only that he seemed to spend every other night of week in the arms of some stranger. But even that was putting it generously - some of these encounters only lasted about half an hour. His profile on the app was popular, he had a good height, a nice and muscular body, a cute face. It was _too_ easy for him to find someone who wanted to sleep with him.

Johnny tightened his resolve. He looked around the gallery for someone he hadn't met before, so that he could force himself to make small chat and an introduction. Johnny was a friendly person by nature, and he liked meeting new people. It was only about time he started meeting new people for reasons other than sex. Some mindless small chat would take his mind off his desires, at least for a little while.

He saw a young man standing alone, staring with intense concentration at a poster on the wall. He had a glass of wine in his hand, but he seemed to have forgotten it as his whole mind was set on the poster. Johnny came to stand next to him. The poster was an advertisement for an upcoming seminar.

"Are you going to the seminar?" Johnny asked him.

The man was taken by surprise. "Ah what? Seminar?"

"I noticed you reading the poster."

The man gave an embarrassed smile. "Ah, no, I wasn't actually reading that. I was just thinking."

Johnny thought that he seemed like a friendly enough person. "Would you like to share your thoughts with me?"

He laughed. "You'll think I'm really silly. I was just thinking about what would happen if you took your computer webcam and turned it to face the monitor, setting it up so that the area filmed is exactly the area of the monitor. What would the monitor show?"

Johnny was silent as he tried to compute the problem. His companion watched him carefully as he thought. At last, he answered, "I guess it would... show nothing? The monitor only shows what the webcam films and the webcam is filming the monitor."

"An empty void. Well, in practice, not necessarily. It would depend on the speed of the camera, the resolution and so on. But it's a void in principle." He paused, and then gave a nervous laugh. "I'm sorry. That wasn't a very good introduction. I always get nervous at social events like these and thinking of riddles always calms me down."

"Wow." Johnny was still thinking about the problem, forcing himself to picture that paradoxical monitor. He was impressed with himself - thinking about the void meant he wasn't think about his phone or fucking. But then he just thought of that again. He cleared his throat. "That's fine, it was really interesting actually. My name is John Seo, I'm a paralegal at KM & Associates."

"I know. That is, I think I've seen you in the office before. I work in the library on Level 5. I'm Mun Taeil."

"Mun Taeil. It's good to meet you." Johnny was about to ask why Taeil had come to the event when a distinctive sound went off from his phone. He gasped and quickly fumbled to turn it off.

To his surprise, Taeil chuckled at it. "It sounds like you have a date with someone."

"Wha-- uh, how did you know which app it was?"

"I have it too. I don't really use it much these days. Even if I meet a guy I'm never able to get more than a first date. Well, I know I am a bit awkward..."

Johnny felt as though a terrible weight had been lifted from his chest. Since his secret had been exposed, he had found a confidante in this stranger.

"Did you tell all your dates about the void?"

Taeil laughed heartily. "You got me. I guess I am a bit of a void myself."

"Well, I thought it was interesting." He hoped that Taeil could tell that he was being sincere. He suddenly realised that he really wanted Taeil to like him. "Don't get downhearted about the app. People only really use it for hook-ups, so you're not really expected to have a second date."

"Is that what that guy wants?" He nodded towards Johnny's phone. Johnny had taken it out of his pocket, but he had not yet opened it. "He might be waiting for you."

"To be honest, I'm not really interested in meeting anyone right now." Johnny tried to hide how flustered he felt with a quick smile.

Taeil contemplated his wine glass. "I'm feeling a bit hungry. They don't really give you much food at these things, do they?"

"Would you like to go get some?"

"I'm glad you caught my drift. You don't mind leaving early?"

"Not at all."

They picked up their coats from reception and made their way out onto the cold street. Taeil's coat looked somewhat too big for him and it seemed to swamp his small frame. Johnny kept unconsciously bumping into his side.

"I know a good noodle place around here," Johnny said.

"That sounds good to me."

The restaurant was mostly empty and they took a table in the corner, where they could talk easily without any distraction. Out of habit, Johnny checked his phone as he sat down. As soon as he unlocked it he saw the image his match had just sent him - a rolled up shirt revealing a smooth and lean stomach, with a hand pushing down at the pants to show a thin line of pubic hair. Johnny swore under his breath and put the phone away.

"Something the matter?" Taeil asked.

"No, just the uh..."

"Your hook-up?"

Johnny stalled as he tried to think of a way to say it. "The thing is... I promised myself that I wouldn't look at the app any more. It's become a bad habit for me."

"Like an addiction to hook-ups?"

"Yes, addiction. It becomes totally meaningless after a while, you don't feel any connection to anyone. But I get lonely, or bored, and then I keep checking the messages. It's like a reflex."

Without asking, Taeil reached over the table to take Johnny's phone. He took a look at the picture and drew a sharp breath. "That's a sexy guy, for sure. But I won't let you look at it any more." He put the phone into his coat pocket.

Johnny laughed at the gesture. "Thanks. It's weird that I'm telling someone about this, and I don't even know you."

"Sometimes a stranger is the only person you can talk to about embarrassing things."

"That's true." Johnny put his hands together on the table in front. "But I don't want you to get the wrong idea about me. I've been celibate now for two weeks."

"Well, I don't mean to brag," Taeil replied with a sly smile, "but I've been celibate much longer than that."

Laughter came out of Johnny like a fountain that had just been turned on. He was still laughing when the waitress came over. Taeil had to order for both of them.

"You're not from here, are you?" Taeil asked him.

"Well... I sort of am. I came to live near here when I was a high schooler, and I've been here pretty much ever since. When I was a kid I lived overseas, but I don't remember that very much now." Johnny was cautious about delving into his own strange life story, so he quickly changed the subject. "What brought you to the networking event tonight?"

"Oh, right... I don't really like events, but I've been making myself go. I've been feeling a bit bored with my work recently and I was hoping I could jump onto something better. I feel like I don't really have the social skills to make it happen though." He chuckled softly. "Or any skills, really."

"You seem pretty good at logic problems."

"When I was in school I was really good at maths and science, and my parents had high hopes for me to go to medical school. I turned out to be a bit of a disappointment for them. Not that I would want to try to get into medical school again, only I was thinking that maybe I could be somewhat less of a disappointment to them."

"All you need is some confidence."

"Yes, you're probably right. You seem very confident, Mr John Seo. How do you do it?"

Johnny blushed. "I wouldn't say I'm that confident. I'm only a paralegal anyway - I'm hardly a success story."

"But you have the feel of CEO. I think it must be because you are so tall. I'm envious of you."

When their food came, Johnny paused to watch Taeil eat, and quickly looked away when Taeil noticed him. Taeil sipping soup from his spoon was such an innocent and sweet scene. Johnny tried to save it to his memory.

"I don't know what else to tell you," Taeil said. "There's not much else to me. I live by myself on top of a bakery. I can play the guitar. That's it, really."

Johnny smiled at him. "Tell me more riddles."

 

* * *

 

On Monday, Johnny slipped away to the library as soon there was a lull in his tasks. At the service desk he asked if Mun Taeil was in. The librarian shrugged, then picked up the phone. "Come to the front desk," she said into it, then put it down. "He'll be here in a minute."

Taeil appeared out of one of the aisles, his hair matted as if he had just been sleeping - but Johnny supposed this might be how it always looked. His eyes were bright, and he creased them with warmth when he saw Johnny was waiting for him.

"I thought I might see you here," he said. "You forgot something, didn't you?" He passed over the phone he had pocketed on Saturday night. "I'm sorry, I should have remembered to give it back to you."

"It's fine. I actually had a very relaxing Sunday thanks to you taking my phone."

"In that case I'm glad I was of assistance."

Johnny took back the phone and they stood facing each other for a moment. The service desk lady was still in ear shot so Johnny lowered his voice. "Are you free for a coffee sometime today?"

Taeil looked around, smiling. "As you can see, there's not much happening here. I'll meet you whenever you're free."

"Can I get your number?"

"I already put it in your phone. I'll see you later."

 

* * *

 

At 5pm they sat down for coffee in the shopping mall across the road from the office.

"You know what this means, right?" Taeil said softly. He was smiling but he kept his eyes lowered.

"What does it mean?"

"I finally got a second date." He laughed softly and Johnny could tell that he was nervous.

"That's true. And we didn't have sex on the first date, so there's progress for me too."

Taeil looked up at him earnestly. "Do you want to have sex with me?"

"Gee, are you always this direct?"

"Some people tell me I am. Sorry."

"It's fine. The answer is... well, yes I do. But actually I really don't." Johnny turned the paper coffee cup around in his hand a few times to distract from his nerves. "What I mean to say is... I want to get to know you first."

"I'm not a hook-up." Taeil leaned back into his chair and sighed. "I guess I'll take that as a good thing."

 

* * *

 

By the third time they met Johnny had already perfectly memorised Taeil's appearance in his mind's eye. He was small, in height and body, and his brown eyes were hazy as though he was always daydreaming. He wasn't handsome in a traditional sense, but the sight of him made Johnny's heart quicken.

Their third date was the following Saturday. Johnny had suggested riding bikes along one of the city park cycling tracks. He thought it would be a relaxing ride, but the track turned out to have a lot more hills than he remembered, and when he stopped to check on Taeil, he found him to be red faced and out-of-breath.

"I'm feeling a bit tired," he lied for Taeil's sake. "Let's stop for a bit."

They walked the bikes into the shade of a zelkova tree, which had turned half brown with autumn. There was an earthy and crisp scent in the air, and Johnny could pick up some of Taeil's own unique smell. He stood close to him to enjoy it, watching Taeil's pink cheeks as he panted. Taeil turned to him and snapped, "Stop looking at me."

Johnny chuckled. "I'm sorry, I can't help it."

 

* * *

 

The fifth time they met, Johnny kissed him. They were sitting on the bed in Taeil's room and Taeil had been playing guitar. When he put the guitar aside, Johnny leaned in to press against his lips. Taeil kept his mouth closed, then took Johnny by the hand.

"Let's not," he said.

The unexpected rejection caused Johnny to freeze, and his hand became tense in Taeil's hold. "No?"

"I mean, you can kiss me - but let's not go any further. You've been celibate for three weeks now, right?"

"Oh." Johnny could feel his cheeks burn with embarrassment. He hadn't even been thinking of sex. Taeil had been singing and playing guitar for him and he was so wrapped up in the thrill of pure romance that he had kissed Taeil out of gratitude. "It's actually been four weeks."

"But I think we should take it slowly."

"You're really not like the other guys, you know that right?"

Taeil flashed him a shy smile. "I know that. That's why I'm saying this."

Johnny drew back but tried not to look too hurt. He realised that sex with Taeil was out of the question for the time being anyway, since Johnny had not yet told him he was an alpha, and this was something he always warned people of before sleeping with them. For most guys this was a turn on, but he wasn't sure if Taeil would react the same way.

 

* * *

 

On their seventh date they went to a cinema. Johnny held Taeil's hand in the dark, subconsciously rubbing it every time there was a heated moment on screen. Taeil let him hold it, as he discreetly ate popcorn with his other hand.

On the way back home they passed a news-stand in the mall. Taeil stopped to pick up one of the magazines on the rack. It was a beauty and lifestyle magazine and on the cover was a young man holding a white lily. Taeil held it up to show Johnny.

"Omegas are popular these days," he said conversationally. "This is Cha Eunwoo. Do you like him?"

Johnny felt something stuck in his throat as he tried to reply. He knew Eunwoo a little, knew that these days he appeared in soap operas and was famous for his beauty - as most omegas are. Taeil was right, omegas had become trendy these days, endorsing beauty products and appearing on TV quite often.

"I - uh - don't know."

Taeil put the magazine back. He picked up another and flicked through it. "Maybe you prefer Lee Taeyong?"

This time Johnny really did feel faint. "Umm..."

"Who do you like better? Cha Eunwoo or Lee Taeyong? Everyone has an opinion on this these days. Supposedly they are rivals."

"Uh... Taeyong, I guess."

"Oh, that's interesting. You like the darker type. Me, I think I prefer Cha Eunwoo. Do you know the Japanese one, Nakamoto Yuta?"

"He's an alpha..."

"Yes, I know. He's a famous soccer player but he goes on TV quite a lot. He's dating Lee Taeyong, that's why I mentioned it. It's kind of interesting, isn't it? Alphas and omegas have become celebrity power couples, I like reading about them sometimes." He paused as he seemed to notice Johnny's awkward expression. "I'm guessing you don't really follow celebrities. I'm sorry for boring you like this."

"Ah, it's really fine. I know a bit about alphas and omegas actually."

Taeil gave Johnny a curious smile. "Perhaps... you prefer alphas?"

This time Johnny laughed loudly. "I really don't."

"I like omegas." He sighed wistfully. "I got to meet an omega once, at an event at my university. He just took my hand - that was it, but something about the way he looked at me, just made me feel so special." He touched his own hand as he spoke, as if trying to recreate the feeling. "He just had that kind of grace - charisma? You could just tell he wasn't an ordinary person."

Johnny was smiling as Taeil spoke, because he thought the way Taeil reminisced was sweet, but also because the description of the omega made him think of the omegas he used to know. A sombre afterthought followed. Thinking of Taeyong and the others made him uncomfortable, for as much as he wanted to distance himself from his old life, he missed them painfully.

Taeil put the magazine back. "You must think I'm stupid for crushing on omegas like this. They only date alphas."

"That's true."

"Besides, I'm dating you!" He laughed. "You're not an omega, but you're okay I suppose..."

 

* * *

 

Alphas react strongly to scents. Each person has a distinctive scent that conjures up a particular feeling or association. To Johnny, the scent of Taeil was like home cooking on a cold autumn day - comforting and nourishing. When Taeil accidentally left his scarf at Johnny's house one night, he was selfishly glad and he took it to bed with him.

The scent made him feel good, but he couldn't shake off the anxiety surrounding the possibility of actually sleeping with him, Taeil who loved the small and gentle omegas and didn't yet know that he was an alpha.

He had been refraining from touching himself as he tried to recover from his "sex addiction" but with the scent of Taeil on his pillow he surrendered to the urge. He tried to conjure up a vision of Taeil making love to the omega he desired, which began as Cha Eunwoo but eventually became Taeyong, and then in the end it was more or less a fantasy of himself making love to Taeyong. He felt a wave of shame wash over him straight after he came, and he renewed his vow not to touch himself.

 

* * *

 

One night, after two months of dating, they were kissing deeply on Taeil's bed. In an uncharacteristically bold move, Taeil slid his hand beneath Johnny's shirt, lifting it up. Johnny reactively pulled back.

Taeil looked somewhat stunned, and a little hurt. He lowered his eyes. "I know you've been trying to beat your addiction, but it's been two months... I'm starting to think there's something wrong with me."

"There's nothing wrong with you at all! It's all me."

Taeil shook his head. "If I'm being honest, I'm not very confident about being with you. You're a sexy guy whose been with so many people, and I've only ever slept with one person! And I really sucked at it too. And look at me." He threw his hands out in despair. "I'm small, I'm weedy, I'm not cute..."

"You are very cute to me!" Johnny felt like his heart was going to jump out of his chest. "There's something about myself that I need to tell you."

Taeil nodded. "You are full of secrets."

The room suddenly felt stuffy and claustrophobic. "Is it okay if we step outside?"

They picked up their coats and walked downstairs, pausing indecisively by the sign of the closed bakery, the winter wind picking up around them. Johnny said, "We better walk for a bit."

As they reached the end of the short road, Taeil asked, "Do you have an STD? HIV?"

"No! It's not that. I've always been very careful."

"Oh... that's good."

He cleared his throat. "I'm an alpha."

"Well that's... oh." 

Taeil stopped walking and they stood facing each other. Johnny felt painfully self conscious of his height; it was uncomfortable to have to look down at Taeil after having made such an announcement. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you... it's just uh, you were talking about how much you like omegas, and..."

Taeil was looking at the ground and his face had no expression. Johnny was starting to panic.

"Say something, please."

Taeil sighed. "You know this only makes me feel worse, right? You're an alpha - literally a genetically superior, god-like human." He laughed bitterly. "Well, I already feel like you're too good for me. How am I supposed to feel now?"

"That's all bullshit, the alphas are bullshit. Don't believe that genetically superior stuff."

"But that's literally what they are. And besides, if you're an alpha, you should be dating an omega..."

"I don't want an omega!" Johnny was almost shouting. "I want you!"

Taeil continued to stare at the patch of pavement illuminated by the street lamp. Johnny could feel the dread build up inside of him. He was so sure Taeil would ask him to break up, but instead he said, "That stuff I said about liking omegas... it doesn't mean anything. I want you too."

Johnny stepped forward to take his hand, fighting back to urge to grab him into a hug. "Then please, let's go back."

"Yes. I am a bit cold."

They were silent for the walk back, but when they got inside and took off their coats, Taeil said, "That's why you had the sex addiction, isn't it?"

"We have typically higher sex drives, yes."

"Then the last two months must have been really hard for you."

Johnny turned to him seriously. "The last two months have been great. Really, what every alpha wants is to find someone to bond with. At least that's what I think."

"It won't be as good as with an omega."

"But I wouldn't know. I've never slept with an omega before. I... exiled myself from them, and I don't speak to the other alphas any more."

Taeil nodded and sat on the bed. "What do you want to do?"

"We don't have to do anything tonight if you don't feel comfortable. I've waited two months, but I can wait as long as you like."

Taeil didn't reply for a moment, and he looked hard at Johnny as he thought. At last he said, "Can I see you naked?"

"Um, sure..."

Johnny turned around, and started to pull the shirt over his head. He could feel Taeil watching him and he started to become shy. His heart was pounding against his ribcage as he tried to imagine what Taeil would think - would he find it too intimidating, too threatening?

"Promise me you won't freak out."

"I promise."

Johnny pulled off his trousers, then at last his boxers. He stood facing away from Taeil for a moment, suddenly frightened to turn around. Before he could even find the nerve he felt Taeil's hands gently touch his back. Taeil pressed his forehead in between the blades of his shoulders, and then gently drew his fingers around his side. "You are too sexy," he murmured softly, and Johnny shivered. Under Taeil's guided direction, he slowly turned around. Taeil was smiling. "It's not too scary." He picked up Johnny's stiffening member and ran his thumb over the head to the base. "I mean, it's big, but not too bad." He let go, then went back to the bed. "Let's lie down," he said.

They got into bed together, Taeil still wearing his shirt and boxers, Johnny completely naked. Johnny sighed with happiness and the scent of Taeil at his shoulder, and Taeil's hand lazily playing with his arousal. "I feel so hard for you," he murmured as he kissed Taeil's head. "You have no idea how much I like you."

"I think I do. But damn, you're getting me kind of wet."

"That's an alpha thing, I'm sorry."

Taeil chuckled, gripping his dick even more firmly in his hand. "That's okay, I forgive you."

Johnny sighed as he became more and more undone under Taeil's caress.

 

* * *

 

After some time Taeil began to grow comfortable with Johnny's body. Their sex drives were quite mismatched however, and some nights when Taeil was too tired or not in the mood, Johnny would have to be content with touching himself, usually as he watched Taeil walk around the room, half undressed. Taeil, who was shy about showing his body, was usually embarrassed, but still played along because he knew how much Johnny loved it.

After six months of dating, they moved in together. It hadn't been their intention to move in so quickly, but they had both been considering moving and they found a good apartment close to their workplace, so it made sense to share the cost. They adjusted to cohabitation seamlessly: they watched TV together every Saturday night, took turns cooking dinner and adopted a stray kitten Taeil found hiding behind the recycling bin.

Many months passed and it was almost autumn again. Johnny had come home late from work and he was eating his dinner alone, as Taeil wandered in and out of the kitchen. He said he was tidying up, but he easily got distracted and would sit down every few minutes and chat to Johnny. Despite being tired, Johnny was feeling his usual growing ache of desire, and perhaps because it had been such a draining day, he was looking forward to the animal warmth of Taeil's body later that night. Taeil drummed his fingers on the table. "Ah, I should clean the dishes," he said.

"Don't worry about it, we can do it later." Johnny hoped that if Taeil's energy was saved, he would be more likely to make love to him later.

"Oh, I just remembered something..." Taeil stood up and walked to the front door, where they usually kept the pile of mail on the living room cabinet. "You got a letter."

"Who's it from?"

"Nobody I know."

"Is it someone that I know?"

"Well, I assume so. Some of your secret friends I've never heard of."

"I don't keep any secrets from you. Open the letter and read it for me."

Taeil ripped the envelope and unfolded the letter. "Do you know Kim Dongyoung, aka Doyoung and Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul aka Ten? It looks like a letter to a party. An engagement party!"

Johnny didn't say anything, so Taeil asked again.

"Do you know them?"

"Yeah, I do."

"They're an alpha-omega couple, right?"

"Yes."

"So are you going to the party?"

Johnny started at his empty bowl. "No."

"Why not?"

"I can't. I already told you, I've been voluntarily exiled."

"But they've invited you."

"I made a promise to myself. I can't go."

Taeil turned the letter over in his hand with a curious frown. "Were they your friends?"

Johnny could feel his cheeks burn with shame. "They were my best friends."

"And they're getting married." Taeil's voice was soft and gentle. "If I were you, I'd go because they are friends."

"I'll think about it." Johnny stood up and took his plate to the kitchen sink. "Right now I'm too tired."

 

* * *

 

When Johnny came out of the shower Taeil was already in bed. He held his arms out and Johnny would normally have relished the sight, but he made the mistake of checking the new message on his phone before jumping into bed. It was a message from Ten.

_Johnny! We sent you an invitation to your engagement party - did you get it? Doyoung said I should message you because he thought you might ignore the letter. I just wanted to say that I really want you to be there. You were one of my first friends in this country and I can't imagine celebrating such an important event without you. Obviously there's going to be a wedding and I want you to be there too, but unfortunately we haven't got a date yet. Please come, Johnny. I love you!!_

Johnny slowly sat down on the edge of the bed and Taeil crawled over to rub his shoulders.

"Did you get some bad news?" he asked softly.

"No, it was just Ten begging me to come to the party."

"Then you should go."

"The last time he messaged me was a year ago. This came out of nowhere."

"No it didn't. It came up because they are getting married and they want to celebrate it with you. Johnny, you _are_ being kind of weird about this." He rested his head against the back of Johnny's neck. "Why is it you really hate them? The alphas, I mean."

"I've already told you, many times. Everything they do is based on this extreme hierarchy. For example-" He held up the phone so that Taeil could read it. "He starts the message saying that Doyoung told him to write it. Omegas don't do _anything_ without being told. Alphas were bred to be genetically superior humans, and omegas were bred to be their slaves. The whole thing is a genetic justification for modern slavery."

"Yeah, you've said this before. But tell me honestly - do you really hate your friends?"

"No." Johnny sighed. "Doyoung's a good person, essentially. He does believe that hierarchy stuff though, but I mean, everyone does. That's just how we were raised."

"Then what are you going to reply?"

Johnny sighed. He looked back at the message, then began to type.

_I'll come to the party as long as I can bring my boyfriend._

Taeil stared at Johnny, wide-eyed. "You want _me_ to go?"

"Well, it would be weird if I didn't bring you when we're a couple..." He touched Taeil's cheek. He felt a sudden swell of love for Taeil, mixed with the pleasure of imagining what those stuck-up alphas would think if he brought his beta lover as a date. But that was followed by the bitter realisation that the whole thing would be horrifically awkward, and Taeil was particularly sensitive to awkward situations. "I mean, if you want to go, you can."

Taeil nodded. "We've been together for almost whole year now, and I still don't know anything about your old friends. You know all of my friends, so I think it's time I met yours."

The phone buzzed. Johnny checked the reply, and Taeil read over his shoulder.

_Yes!! Please bring him. I can't wait to meet him!!_

Taeil smiled. "That sounds promising."

"Yeah, but that's Ten. He's the nicest person ever."

"Can you tell me about him? I want to know what your friends are like."

"Well, he's kind of short---"

"Not his appearance, tell me what he's like. What does he do for a living?"

"Well, he's an omega, so he doesn't do all that much. I think he's popular on youtube for making fitness and dance videos. Doyoung's a lawyer, well I guess he is, we studied law together."

"You know them from university?"

"Doyoung I know from before that. When I first came to Korea I lived in an old house in the country, in the southern mountain district. Doyoung and a few other people lived at the house with me. We were studying at a specialist high school, just for us, and we also had a whole bunch of other tasks and rituals we had to complete every day. Stuff like farming vegetables and picking fruit, but also meditation, practising martial arts and physical fitness. All the alphas and omegas had to live like this. It was training us to be disciplined."

"So your wild animal desires wouldn't take over?"

"Yes, something like that. Self control is important for alphas and omegas. We lived pretty equally with omegas during those days, up until our coming-of-age which usually happened when we were 18. After that we were kept separate and treated differently. Then at university we lived in our own college, and we attended additional classes on how to be a good alpha, the alpha practices and about how out biology is different. The omegas had similar classes."

Johnny remembered the yearbook he had kept from the last year he had lived in the house. It contained a collection of photographs and other pieces of documents and paper that he had considered to be important at the time. He had left most of his old books in the college dorm when he had left, but he had taken the yearbook with him for some reason. He pulled it out to show Taeil, as if by showing him a photograph the strange fairy tale of his youth would become real to both of them. Taeil examined it with interest, smiling at the photos of Johnny as an adolescent.

They arrived at one group photo; taken in the courtyard of the old house. Doyoung, Yuta and Johnny were sitting in a row, cross legged, and Taeyong was curled up on Johnny's side, his head in Johnny's lap. Taeil examined it carefully. "They look like Lee Taeyong and Nakamoto Yuta," he commented.

"That's because it is them. The other one is Doyoung."

Taeil looked hurt. "You never told me you knew them!"

"I never really had the chance to bring it up. Besides, I try not to think about the old days."

"Was it just the four of you that lived in the house?"

"No, there were others that came and went, and there was an older omega who used to look after us but he left after he got married. I suppose the four of us were the main ones though."

Johnny put away the yearbook, and Taeil was left dazed by the revelation. As they climbed into bed together, he rolled over to kiss Johnny's cheek and jaw. He paused. "You seem sad now. Remembering that stuff makes you sad?"

"I guess it does. It was 10 years ago but it seems like yesterday. I miss them."

"Then we should go to the party." He pressed another kiss to Johnny's temple. "It will be fine, I'm sure."


	3. The House - Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johnny remembers his early life with Yuta, Doyoung and Taeyong.

_Ten years earlier_

Near the house where Johnny had lived as a teenager, there had been a dirt path that wound around the foothills of the nearby mountain range. You would need to leave the house by the front gate, walk past the bus stop on the main road and into the field beside it. The path would take you up to the temple at the base of the mountain. Johnny, along with Yuta and Doyoung, would walk along this path every morning and return in time to catch the bus from the main road, that would take them to the school house. Johnny now can't remember if this was something they decided to do on their own, or if it was something they had been told to do by the adult alphas. But whatever the reason, they did it every morning.

When they first met, they all spoke different languages, Johnny and Yuta being foreigners and Doyoung a native Korean. But they came to know each other quickly. Their personalities were all very distinct and disagreements were common between them. The near constant squabbling became a harmonious part of their relationship, and there was never any serious fighting between them.

They walked in a single file, Doyoung at the front. Even though he was the youngest of the three, he liked to call the shots. Yuta liked to tease him for it.

"Doyoung is going to protect us from the wolves."

Doyoung threw himself around to face Yuta. "There are no wolves here."

"Doyoung wants to find one and then wrestle it," Yuta continued, ignoring him. "He wants to show the wolf who's the strongest alpha."

Johnny jumped over the stones at the rear, cackling with laughter.

"Wolves are not confrontational animals anyway," Doyoung said. He added a deep sigh, as though he knew his superior knowledge of wolves was going to be wasted on an idiot like Yuta.

"Our instincts a like a wolf's," Yuta said, "so we could be friends with them. Aren't there children who have been raised by wolves?"

"No! Wolves do not raise human children..."

Johnny paused at the small creek, then jumped over it in one stride. He ran to catch up with the others, who were a little ahead. "Romulus and Remus were raised by wolves," he said, "according to the legend."

"Who are they?" Doyoung asked, exasperated.

"It's the story about the founding of Rome."

"Rome?"

"Don't you know it?" Yuta said joyfully, even though he probably didn't know the story either. He was just excited that Doyoung had been outsmarted for once.

"Rome. That's not our country. Why should I have heard of it?"

Their conversation stopped when they reached the temple, signalling that their walk was over and they needed to turn around and head for the bus stop. They turned around and were about to start walking again when Johnny saw someone coming up the path towards them. Yuta and Doyoung came up to where Johnny had stopped.

"Who is it?" Doyoung asked.

"It's Taeyong," Johnny said. He watched Taeyong walking with his fists tight and head lowered, kicking stones with a moody air. He was alone. "Let's wait and we can walk back with him."

"Are you sure?" Doyoung asked.

"Yeah, why not?"

"I don't think I've ever spoken to him before." He paused. "Are we meant to walk alone with an omega?"

Yuta laughed. "We're not alone. And he's not a full omega yet. I don't see the problem." He took a step along the path and called, "Taeyong! Come walk with us!"

The look on Taeyong's face initially made Johnny regret his decision. He had gone from looking moody to looking frightened as soon as Yuta called him. Like Doyoung, Johnny had barely spoken to him even though they lived in the same house. The omegas' bedroom was located on the opposite side of the courtyard to theirs, and even though they still ate meals together, interaction between the alphas and omegas was not greatly encouraged. Besides, Taeyong never seemed all that approachable. He was always looking glum or bothered. But Johnny was still curious about him. He was too young for his alpha instincts to take full effect, but Taeyong was undeniably beautiful, even as a grumpy teenager.

When he reached them, Yuta said, "we noticed you were walking alone so we thought we should escort you back. We're going to the bus stop."

Taeyong looked nervously between Johnny and Taeyong. "I wasn't going to the bus stop. I have to go back to the house to do chores."

"That's fine. It's the same way, so we can still keep you company." Yuta turned to Doyoung and Johnny. "The other omegas in the house left last week. It's only Hansol now."

"You must be lonely," Doyoung said, to which Taeyong shrugged.

"We weren't that close."

"Let's start walking, or else we'll miss the bus." Yuta walked beside Taeyong. "We were just talking about wolves. Who do you think would win in a fight between Doyoung and a wolf?"

Taeyong seemed a little startled by the question, but he smiled when he realised they were joking. "The wolf," he said.

Johnny was thankful to Yuta for including Taeyong so naturally into their jokes and chatter. Johnny still felt too shy to talk to him. Every time he felt like he could say something, he would be distracted by Taeyong's impossibly large eyes and he would have to look away.

Yuta and Doyoung eventually started up another pointless argument. Taeyong did not say much, but he seemed more relaxed. Johnny caught his hand when he almost tripped on a rock, causing them both to blush and quickly separate. They walked the rest of the way back side by side, in shared silence.

 

* * *

 

Even though he was known for having an energetic disposition, Yuta had struggled the most at first. Johnny used to hear him crying at night in their shared bedroom. On those nights he would move his mattress closer to his, and they would sometimes stay up chatting under the pretense of practising their Korean - back when they were barely understandable, to each other or to anyone. This is how Johnny first got to know Yuta, during these late and lonely nights.

On some nights Yuta would be allowed to stay up late with Hansol, an older omega who was responsible for looking after the house. There had been originally been three omegas in addition to him, and the three alphas in the house, but the people changed from time to time. At this time there was only the five of them living there, Taeyong the only other omega.

Johnny had gone out looking for Yuta one night, not long after they had first walked with Taeyong, and found him sitting in the front room with Hansol. This was the room where they ate with guests if there was a special occasion, but on normal nights it was a reading room. Hansol owned a collection of books and Yuta would go and ask to borrow one, and they would read together before bed. Johnny sometimes joined them, but he wasn't as interested in Hansol's book collection, which mostly consisted of childish adventure manhwas. Yuta absolutely loved them, or so he said.

All the same, on this night Johnny sat with them. He tried reading one of the comic books, but became sleepy quickly. He often thought that the real reason Yuta liked to spend his evenings with Hansol was that the scent of the older omega was so calming, and even though they were young it was still detectable. Johnny often decided to go to the reading room for this reason alone, since he knew the omega scent would be enough to calm his miseries.

Hansol treated Yuta like a little brother, and he regarded Doyoung much the same way. With Johnny however, he often acted deferential, became tense in his presence and always spoke to him with his eyes down. Johnny wondered if perhaps Hansol didn't like him, until he saw Hansol speaking with an adult alpha one day and he realised this was the normal way omegas behaved around alphas. Even though Johnny was the same age as Yuta, his impressive height must have made him seem older. He wasn't sure whether he liked being treated like this, and he never really became as close to Hansol as the others did.

"You should go to sleep now," Hansol said, and gently took the book from Yuta's hands. Yuta had been sitting cross legged on a cushion and he looked up innocently.

"Will you kiss me goodnight?"

Hansol smiled. "No, you have to go." He softly patted Yuta's cheek and Yuta reluctantly stood up.

Johnny had been sitting with them, but he had not been reading. He helped pick up the books, then bowed. "Thank you, hyungnim," he said, as he always did, and Hansol looked away, embarrassed.

Johnny and Yuta returned to their room, where Doyoung had already gone to sleep. They pulled their mats close together so that they could whisper without waking him.

"Why is it I think he's awkward with me?"

"Hansol? He's not a serious person. You act too serious with him."

"You don't act serious enough! He gets embarrassed when you keep asking to kiss him. You're not supposed to talk to an adult omega like that."

"I don't see him as an omega though. He's just a hyung."

"That's so not true."

He could see Yuta smile in the moonlight. "He smells nice, right? And he's so soft. Maybe one day, when I'm older, he will see me as an alpha..."

"I think he will always see you as a kid. You act too much like a kid with him."

"Shut up, don't ruin my dreams!"

 

* * *

 

On the weekend, the three of them worked in the garden during the day. As summer was approaching they had the enjoyable task of picking strawberries before the rain season started.

They collected the strawberries in boxes and added them to the cart, which they would haul back up the hill towards the house. Johnny had to stop Yuta from eating too many, but every time he would reach out to take the berry off him, Yuta would then press it to Johnny's lips and say, "Johnny keeps eating them!"

"It's a shame Taeyong couldn't come out with us," Johnny said after a while.

"Why's that?" Doyoung asked.

"I don't know, this just seems like fun. What's he doing now anyway? He could have come out."

"He has to do chores at the house. Laundry I think."

"Let's go and visit him," Yuta suggested. "We can save a box just for him."

"Are you sure?" Doyoung considered it with a frown on his face. "I don't know if we would be allowed to do that..."

"Who's stopping us? Hansol never reports anything on us, and there's no one else here."

"Okay, I guess we should then."

When the sun was low in the sky, they pushed the cart up the hill. Taeyong was in the west yard, tying the bedsheets to the washing line. "Taeyong!" Yuta called. "We've brought you something."

Taeyong pushed one of the sheets aside, so that he could step out to see them. He seemed suspicious. "What is it?"

"A strawberry."

Johnny was holding the box, so he got to be the one to offer it to Taeyong. Taeyong seemed hesitant.

"Go on, take one," Johnny said, quietly so that only Taeyong could hear.

Taeyong picked up a strawberry but he didn't eat it, he just held it cautiously by the end like it was something fragile and he had nowhere to lay it down.

"Aren't you going to try it?" Yuta said. "They are really nice. We just picked them."

"It feels weird to eat in front of you," Taeyong said shyly. "You know, we're not supposed to eat in front of alphas."

"But we eat dinner together every night! And even Hansol eats in front of us. None of us have come of age yet, so it doesn't matter."

Taeyong nodded but he didn't make any move to eat the strawberry.

"Actually, isn't it a bit weird if we're all standing here watching him?" Doyoung said. He had the good sense to read the situation. "Let's leave him alone. He seems busy."

Johnny felt ashamed for having caused Taeyong this embarrassment. He had been too eager to try and have another conversation with him, but Doyoung was right, it would be better if they just left him in peace. But to his surprise, Doyoung turned around again and said to Taeyong, "Are you busy tonight? My brother sent me a new game this week and we were going to play it in the dining room tonight after dinner. It's a four player game," he added.

"Sure, okay. See you at dinner."

They took the strawberries to the kitchen to store them. "So Doyoung," Yuta said, "you would like to become friends with Taeyong after all."

"Well, I don't see why we shouldn't play with him."

"But you like him too, don't you?"

Doyoung rolled his eyes, but smiled at the same time. "We don't really know him yet, but well, I do have eyes. He's very good looking."

Johnny felt a weird flip in his chest. Somehow Doyoung saying that so openly felt like a great relief to him. It was like his attraction to Taeyong had been justified. "He is amazingly good looking," he added.

"You two, so superficial." Yuta clicked his tongue. "You only want to be friends with him for that reason, for shame."

"As if you don't think the same way," Doyoung said. "You were the one who wanted to give him strawberries."

"I was only being nice..." Yuta replied piously. Johnny remembered the way that he always denied liking Hansol, but he was weak for romance, and he was the sort of person who was always falling in love.

 

* * *

 

The four of them ate dinner alone that night. This felt particularly unusual, since it was the first time both Hansol and the other omegas were absent. Hansol would be absent for a few nights every once and a while when he would stay in his room. Johnny understood that this was due to him having an 'omega heat' although he wasn't sure how he knew this, since no one ever talked about it. It was something that was just assumed. On such nights Taeyong would be responsible for the cooking, and on this night in particular he was responsible for all of it, since the other omegas had left.

He put a large gap between himself and the alphas when he sat down, and he ate quickly and self consciously. He finished before them, and went back to the kitchen. He returned in a little while to sit with them as they finished eating.

"You cook really well," Johnny told him and he smiled shyly.

"I've been practicing a lot lately. I always do most of the cooking myself. Next week when Dr Shin comes, Hansol said that I can do the whole preparation."

"Dr Shin is coming next week?" Doyoung asked. "He came not so long ago."

"He's coming again."

"Will he bring us meat and snacks?" Yuta asked.

"Probably. He usually does." Whenever Dr Shin came to visit it was usually a source of excitement for the kids in the house, since he was quite generous with gifts.

Dr Shin was a medical doctor who specialised in alpha and omega biology. He was one of the only doctors of his kind and he ran a practice in Busan, although he often made visits to other towns. He was 30 years old, although he seemed somewhat older. As he was an alpha with some degree of respectability they were usually very formal when he came, and they took their meal in the visitor room.

Taeyong seemed anxious to take their bowls back to the kitchen. "Come back quickly so you can play with us," Doyoung called to him.

Doyoung went to collect the game and Johnny and Yuta made a space for it on the table. Doyoung had a brother who was currently at the university in Busan. Having a brother was something unusual for alphas and omegas, most of whom did not have typical families, or even parents. Doyoung was a second generation alpha, and he carried a sort of pedigree. His brother, an omega a few years older, doted on him and often sent him parcels. This one had been a late birthday present.

The game was a strategy board game that required teams of two. Doyoung waited for Taeyong to join them before he explained the rules.

"Yuta and Johnny can be one team, and Taeyong and I will be the other."

Yuta promptly put his arm around Johnny, but Doyoung pulled him off. 

"You have to sit on the opposite side of the table from your team member."

Yuta followed the instruction, and Taeyong swapped places with him. Johnny could feel the fabric of Taeyong's jacket rub against his arm and shivered with excitement. Doyoung read the rules from the box out loud, but Yuta interrupted him half way. "We don't need to know the rules, let's just play."

Doyoung and Taeyong played the game very seriously, both staring at the board with intense concentration. Yuta often leaned back to stare at the ceiling or out the window. Every time Johnny made a good move, he would reach across the table to tap his hand. When he wriggled too much Doyoung would hit his knee.

"What are you, a child?"

Yuta rubbed his knee sulkily. "Board games aren't my style. I prefer active games."

After a while it was clear that Doyoung and Taeyong were too much in front for there to be any real competition. Doyoung relaxed and started making more joking conversation. He casually asked Taeyong about how his school work was going, and Taeyong gradually began to talk more and more.

"It's kind of cool that Dr Shin is visiting us again," Doyoung said. "He must like us more than the other houses."

"He's interested in you for medical reasons," Yuta replied. "He wants to study your brain because you are such a psycho."

Doyoung rolled his eyes. "You mispronounced genius."

Yuta grinned. "Genius? I don't think he would find one here."

Johnny stole a glance at Taeyong. He had a pensive, but serious look on his face.

"You guys really don't know the real reason Dr Shin comes here?" he said. They all looked at Taeyong now, but he kept his eyes down. "He's not interested in any of us, he only comes to meet Hansol."

"Hansol?" Yuta said. "I wouldn't call _him_ a genius."

"Well, it's not like he meets Hansol to discuss his new medical discoveries. Hansol is an omega and Dr Shin is not married. He has a good job, money, lots of respectability so the only other thing he needs is to get married."

They were all silent. Taeyong said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world, but it sounded unbelievable to each of them. On one hand, Johnny could see why the famous doctor might desire him, since he was pretty and demure like a typical omega. But he was very young and Dr Shin, at 30, seemed monstrously old to his 15-year-old self.

"He can't marry Hansol, Hansol's too young," he heard himself say. "He only had his ceremony two months ago."

"But he turned 18 in the winter. He's a full omega, and Dr Shin would probably prefer to marry someone young."

Yuta looked as though he had stopped listening. He curled his knees up to his chest, and resting his head on top, he stared at the dark window.


	4. The House - Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A guest at the house brings a significant change. Back in the present day, Johnny receives an unsettling message from Doyoung.

Dr Shin came with gifts, just as he usually did. He was an intimidating figure - tall and portly with a big voice, and to a stranger he might seem quite serious. He was rather soft towards students, however, and although he liked to lecture them in a pious voice he always brought them extra food and items from the city.

He came in through the front gate and immediately passed his bag to Hansol, who took it while bowing with his eyes downcast. There was some food in jars and a cut of beef, which Hansol passed on to Taeyong to take to the kitchen. The rest of the contents of the bag contained the next instalments in the manhwa that Hansol had been reading. When he saw them he seemed embarrassed, and thanked Dr Shin shyly. Dr Shin waved him off, and said, "You boys must have it pretty hard out here, sometimes I think you miss out on things from the city."

Yuta, who was usually excited by the new manhwas, did not smile or say thank you. As they went to the visitor room to sit down, he asked, "Why can't we move to the city?"

Doyoung and Johnny eyed him nervously, since it was considered highly impolite to speak so directly to a senior alpha. But Dr Shin did not seem offended. "You will move to the city soon enough. There's a good reason for having you out here, and although you might not appreciate the rural lifestyle at the moment, I think you will look back on these days fondly. There are many important lessons an alpha can learn while cultivating the land. It's a part of learning to cultivate both mind and body."

Dr Shin sat at the head of the table for dinner. Doyoung, Yuta and Johnny sat in a row to his left. Hansol and Taeyong brought out the food and then sat to his right, their hands folded in their laps. When Dr Shin visited they were not allowed to eat with him at the table, so they just sat and watched.

"Did you make this, Hansol?" Dr Shin asked kindly.

Without looking up, Hansol replied, "Actually Taeyong prepared the meal tonight."

"All of it?"

"Most of it. We used some side dishes from the night before."

Taeyong lifted his gaze, just slightly, to check Dr Shin's expression. Johnny looked too, but the doctor did not seem particularly impressed or interested.

"I'll come again tomorrow night. You should cook the beef that I brought. You can do whatever you like with it."

"Me, sir?"

"Yes, Hansol you. I appreciate that Taeyong is learning to become a good chef, but I think it's best if you prefer the food that I brought, just for tomorrow night at least."

Johnny thought that he could feel the tension trembling in Yuta, who was sitting beside him. He ate his dinner quite aggressively, and his arms seemed stiff. Johnny wished he could take him aside to comfort him. He became increasingly worried that Yuta was going to burst and say something rude.

Eventually, he did. "Ajeossi, didn't you like Taeyong's dinner? You ate it well."

Hansol gave Yuta a frantic look, but Yuta didn't seem to notice it.

Once again, Dr Shin was unfazed. "I did. Taeyong cooks very well." He paused to take a sip from his cup. "Yuta's Korean has improved again. I feel like he gets better every time I meet him."

 

* * *

 

Doyoung and Johnny cornered Yuta when they retired to their bedroom. "Are you crazy?" Doyoung said, to which Yuta did not reply. He was still brooding and angry. He picked up his pillow and blanket and pushed his mat to the furthest corner of the room. Doyoung and Johnny followed him there.

Doyoung was worried that Yuta might have put them in trouble. They had a good reputation at their school and they were considered to be one of the most promising houses. He thought Yuta would regret it if he ruined their good reputation simply from being hot-headed, but Johnny was more sympathetic. He knew Yuta had a way of feeling things strongly - this was both his strength and his weakness.

Yuta pulled the blanket over his head, but Doyoung still talked to him. "You know, embarrassing Hansol like that isn't going to help him."

"What makes you think I want to help him?"

"You mean you want to sabotage his chances of getting married?"

Yuta rolled around and pulled the blanket down. "Yes, I want to sabotage his marriage to that _pig_."

"Hey, I thought you liked Dr Shin. You always got excited when he came before."

"He doesn't want to lose Hansol," Johnny said. Not wanting to take a side, he chose to mediate.

"But you won't lose Hansol," Doyoung said. "He was always going to leave here eventually and we're going to leave too. We'll all meet each other again when we move to the city."

"I don't want to meet him again if he's married to a fat pig."

"Fat pig? He's a very respected doctor, you know. He's almost certain to join the alpha council if he gets married, and then Hansol will get to live as a high status omega too. When you think about it, he's lucky that Dr Shin has noticed him."

Yuta sat up, his eyes red. He glared at Doyoung and then at Johnny. "Is that what you think. And you, Johnny? Do you agree with him? Do you think Hansol is lucky to have that pig?"

Johnny was embarrassed but he replied, "I think he is."

Yuta huffed, then lay down with the blanket pulled over his face. "There is no such thing as a high status omega! Now, leave me alone!"

They each crawled to their own mats. Johnny felt bad for Yuta, but he also believed that eventually Yuta would get over it. He had a bit of a crush on Hansol, but it would pass. After laying down for a little while, he sat up to check on Yuta. Yuta was lying in an unmoving lump facing the wall. Johnny crept a little closer so that they were almost lying side by side.

 

* * *

 

There was a large tree in the yard, by the west quarter. A dark twisted branch hung out at a 90 degrees angle, making it perfect for sitting on if you could climb that high. Yuta and Johnny liked to climb it in the evenings when all their work was done. Doyoung, who was nervous of heights, preferred to sit beneath, but he would get up when Yuta threw leaves at him. They discovered it was a good hiding place and it had a view of the side gate and washing line so you could see anyone coming out of the house.

At twilight on the next night, Yuta and Johnny sat on the branch together. They were both silent as they watched Hansol and Dr Shin by the washing line.

They were standing very close and speaking, but they were too far away for them to hear, or to read their lips. Still it was obvious what must have been said between them. Hansol, although quite tall, looked unusually small in Dr Shin's presence. He was keeping his head and eyes lowered and that made it impossible to tell what his feelings really were. At the end of their exchange Dr Shin took Hansol's hand and brought it to his lips.

Johnny heard Yuta sigh beside him. "What if that was Taeyong?" he said.

"Huh?"

"What if Taeyong was the one Dr Shin was making a move on? Would you say he was lucky too?"

Johnny felt startled, and a little defensive. "Taeyong is under-age, he hasn't even had his first heat yet."

"Well, imagine he was a couple of years older. And we were watching him now with Dr Shin."

"This is stupid Yuta. You're not making any sense."

Yuta swung his legs and sighed again. "You think Hansol is dumb and clumsy and lucky to marry a high status alpha, even one that's old and ugly. But if it was Taeyong you would feel differently, because he's your god and you would be furious if some old alpha came to claim him."

"Well, you can say that, but it's just theoretical." Johnny paused to watch the scene again. Dr Shin had left, and Hansol was alone by the washing line. He was pacing and seemed to be speaking to himself. "What makes you think Taeyong is my god?"

"He just seems to have amazing power over you. He can make your head turn just from walking across the room."

Johnny rubbed his arm, embarrassed. "I just find him good looking, that's all. I don't even know him that well. What you're saying is that you feel angry about Hansol and Dr Shin because you like Hansol, and you want to be the one to marry him?"

"It's not that," Yuta replied. "He's a hyung to me, and I'm saying this as his friend."

"Yeah sure."

"You don't think Dr Shin is taking advantage of him? He's so young, and lives out here so he doesn't even know any other alphas his own age. That fat pig will take him with no competition." He hit Johnny's knee. "Imagine having to suck his dick every night for the rest of your life."

"Gross."

"That's what the life of an omega is like. Your god Taeyong - one day he'll have to do it too. Think about it."

Johnny finally gave in to the temptation and used his shoulder to shove Yuta off the branch. Yuta landed on the ground with a half jump, and he took off straight towards the gate where Hansol was still pacing. Johnny stayed behind and watched how Yuta greeted Hansol and spoke to him for a little while. They walked into the house together and Johnny was left alone.

 

* * *

 

As per Johnny's initial prediction, Yuta did cheer up over the following weeks, even after Hansol began wearing Dr Shin's necklace. It was unsettling at first, but he soon got back into the habit of reading comics with him every night and his mood returned to normal. He was even in good spirits at the wedding, which was held during the following autumn.

After Hansol got married he moved to city to live with Dr Shin. They didn't send another omega to replace him, and the house was henceforth monitored by an alpha omega couple who lived in the neighbouring property. Taeyong became responsible for managing the housework and two new omega students were sent to live with them.

Hansol's departure left Yuta gloomy only for a little while. As summer came to a close and autumn crept in Yuta had found a new obsession in playing soccer. He had joined a team with the boys at school, but then had been selected to play in a district competition. He received permission from the teachers to replace his physical training sessions with more soccer practice, and he went to nearby field to play almost daily. When he wasn't at the field, he would play with the soccer ball in the garden and orchard - much to the extreme frustration of Doyoung. But even if he was being bothersome with juggling the ball all the time, his good mood put the household at ease.

Johnny and Taeyong would always go to watch his district games - Yuta begged them to, but even so, it was usually an enjoyable activity. Doyoung came sometimes too, but he would often make excuses about needing to study and then Johnny and Taeyong would catch the bus together. These days they had become good friends and they spoke openly with each other. As much as Johnny enjoyed watching Yuta play soccer (especially when he won) the real appeal was the outings was the time he got to spend alone with Taeyong. When they arrived at the district oval, they took a seat together on the top of the hill and Johnny would lay his coat down for Taeyong to sit on (and when he took it back later, it still smelled like him). Johnny always cheered loudly for Yuta and Yuta would sometimes respond by throwing him hand signals or blowing kisses (although the kisses might have been for Taeyong). Taeyong sometimes lost interest in the game and he would play with the grass.

After Hansol had been gone a few months Johnny started to notice how Yuta turned his attention to Taeyong. He shared the collection of manhwa he had inherited from Hansol and often invited him to read them together in the visitor room. Yuta was a friendly person who could easily charm anyone and Johnny supposed be was just being sociable - and yet he couldn't help but feel something was in the air whenever he and Taeyong would sit and read a book together in the evenings or whenever he would run to pick him up and tickle him after he finished playing soccer.

Doyoung joined them in the visitor room these days but he preferred to play his strategy board games than read comics. Taeyong liked these games too and they often talked about them. There was typically something of a competition for Taeyong's attention on these nights, but there was always some kind of competition going on between Yuta and Doyoung.

The competition between his friends stirred some excitement in Johnny. He had feelings for Taeyong too, but he kept them in his own heart.

 

* * *

 

They never spoke about it, but the conversation Johnny had shared with Yuta that day in the tree still stayed on his mind. Now that Taeyong had more or less assumed Hansol's old role in the house, what if some old, high ranking alpha came to propose to him too? The thought made him nervous.

One day as they caught the bus to the district oval, Johnny asked Taeyong: "Do you want to get married soon?"

Taeyong gave him a confused look. "No. Why, are you proposing?"

Johnny chuckled. "No, I was just wondering if you were going to get married like Hansol did."

"I know a lot omegas tend to get married young, but I think I'll try to stay unmarried for as long as possible. It's not that I don't want an alpha, but I want to be able to see what's in the world first. It might be okay for Hansol, and Dr Shin might be nice, but it would get boring being stuck in a house all day."

"I guess that's true."

"How about you? Do you want to get married?"

Johnny laughed. "No, I'm the same as you. I think I'll focus on studying and learn more about the world first. Then I will make up my mind."

Taeyong nodded. "As long as you and I can stay friends, whatever you chose."

"Of course."

They hopped off the bus and headed towards the oval, but the sky was dark with thick clouds. There was thunder and Taeyong huddled up to Johnny for protection. He automatically took off his coat and wrapped it around Taeyong, shielding him from the cold rain that had started to fall. They ran to the shelter of the club house.

 

* * *

 

Two nights later Johnny went to the reading room after dinner. Taeyong had not been at dinner, although he often opted to eat in the kitchen so this was not unusual, but Johnny wanted to see him. Yuta was reading a manhwa and Doyoung was in another corner examining a chess board. "Where's Taeyong?" he asked.

"He said he's not well. We called the doctor, he'll be here tomorrow."

Johnny felt a shiver of dread. "Is he okay? Did he catch a cold?"

Yuta looked up from his book with a half-smile. "No, he went _into heat_."

"Huh? Really?"

"That's what seems to be the case. It's what we told the doctor anyway."

"But is that even possible? He's only sixteen."

"It's possible," Doyoung said. "Some omegas get it that young. But it could have been triggered by an alpha if he got too close."

Johnny remembered how he had wrapped Taeyong in his coat - did his scent get too close? He lowered himself to the ground and sat silently staring at the carpet. Yuta put his book down.

"Don't look so worried, Johnny. He's not going to die."

"But he's more vulnerable to alphas now. What if someone comes along and takes him? Some old high ranking alpha? Taeyong told me he doesn't want to get married for a long time, but he's vulnerable now."

"That won't happen." It was Doyoung that spoke, stepping away from the chess board. "He has us to protect him, right?"

 

* * *

 

_The Present Day_

With Taeil's advice, Johnny had taken the photograph of himself, Yuta, Doyoung and Taeyong and put it in a frame on the cabinet in their bedroom. Taeil thought it was better if he didn't forget his past, allow it be a part of him, but the remembrances had been uncomfortable. There was a sort of yellow haze around his memories of the old house, like a vintage photo filter that made everything seem like a perfect story book. The fact that those days had been so happy is what made Johnny feel so ill at ease. Things had changed, and so had he.

About a week after Doyoung's engagement party Johnny was in bed, reading a book in one hand and stroking Taeil's hair with the other. Taeil was lightly snoring, now obviously fast asleep. Johnny was about to turn the light out when he heard the message sound from his phone. It was from Doyoung. This time there were no formalities or niceties.

"We need to talk. Taeyong is in trouble."


	5. Doyoung's Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johnny learns about Taeyong's predicament and Doyoung confronts him with a difficult choice. Taeil gets some advice from Ten.

Doyoung: _We need to talk. Taeyong is in trouble._

* * *

Johnny agreed to meet with Doyoung on Friday night, which meant cancelling the quiet night-in he was planning to have with Taeil. He showed the message to Taeil, who nodded with understanding.

"You need to sort it out with your friends, Johnny. We can always stay in together tomorrow night."

Johnny caught the subway into the business district. He had no information about Taeyong, or what Doyoung wanted to tell him and it bothered him immensely. It was such an ominous message. Was it something to do with Yuta? Whatever it was, Johnny couldn't help but remember the promise they had once made, that the three of them should always look out for Taeyong. Back then Johnny still harboured the paternalistic values of old fashioned alphas, and although he had since rejected him he couldn't help but feel responsible for Taeyong.

He had agreed to meet Doyoung in a shopping mall café, which was near to Doyoung's office. When he saw Doyoung he noticed that he didn't have a jacket and his tie was askew, looking as if he'd had a stressful day at the office. Ten was sitting elegantly at his side, wearing a fashionable trench coat. He was stroking Doyoung's arm and speaking to him with a smile, as if trying to calm him down. When he noticed Johnny he smiled and waved.

"Johnny, come sit down."

"Hey Ten, I didn't think you'd be here too."

"We didn't think you would come at all."

"I told you Johnny would come if it's for Taeyong," Doyoung said. "Our friendship with him is so old, and we once made a promise to look out for him."

"That's right," Johnny replied. He wanted Doyoung to know he still remembered, even after everything that had happened since.

Ten passed Johnny a coffee in a paper cup. "I got this for you. But Doyoung wants us to walk."

"I was thinking of going to the council club house," Doyoung said. "I have some business I need to take care of."

"Does it have anything to do with Taeyong?"

"Yes, kind of."

"What's happened to him? What's gone wrong? You told me he was in trouble."

Ten looked away awkwardly. "Oh yes, he's in trouble all right..."

"The alpha council have decided to punish him," Doyoung said. "I still have to confirm the details. I'll be able to tell you later."

"For what?" They walked through the mall as they talked. The shopping concourse was flooded with people and Johnny found it hard to keep up with Doyoung and Ten and hear the conversation. He was getting increasingly impatient.

When they had finally reached a quiet spot, Doyoung said, "How much do you know?"

"Nothing! You haven't told me anything."

"But have you read any gossip sites?"

"I avoid them at all costs."

"Well, I better start by giving you the background. Do you know that Yuta had a sports injury not long ago? He hasn't played soccer ever since."

"Um, yeah, I did read about that actually. I thought it was only minor."

"Apparently it wasn't. He might not be able to play again and he's quite upset about it. Career wise, he's popular enough as a celebrity that he can still appear on TV, but he was depressed about not being able to play."

"He's been having a hard time lately," Ten added.

"What does this have to do with Taeyong being in trouble?"

"It's not to do with it, not exactly," Doyoung said. "I'm just just giving you the background."

"It's so you don't get too mad at Yuta," Ten said. He quickly looked away when Johnny stared at him.

"Oh my god... _What did Yuta do?_ "

Doyoung shook his head. "Yuta didn't do anything, not really. It's just that he's been unhappy recently and the relationship was going badly. It was kind of an open secret that Yuta slept around, but he always insisted that Taeyong knew about it and he didn't mind."

"Omegas always say they don't mind when an alpha treats them badly." Johnny couldn't help himself.

"Well, you have to consider their situation though. People often said their relationship was just for appearances, that the relationship was mutually beneficial for both of their careers so they kept it up as a façade. Personally, I know - and you know - that it can't just be like that. They've known each other for so long and you know how close we all used to be..."

"So what's happened to Taeyong?"

"I'm getting there. Since you've haven't been following the celebrity news you might not have noticed that Taeyong's career had been suffering somewhat recently. He wasn't getting as many calls for shows and endorsements. He'd been losing popularity to Cha Eunwoo, the new it-boy, and the relationship with Yuta was the main thing keeping him relevant. They were very popular as a kind of alpha-omega power couple you know. So you can imagine how he took it when Yuta told him a few days ago that he wanted to end the relationship officially."

They stepped out onto the street and Johnny shivered from the sudden blast of cold air. The coffee in his hand had gone cold. "When was this?"

"Monday I think. Two days after we last saw you."

"Do I want to know what happens next?" They were now walking down the main shopping high street. A larger-than-life poster of Cha Eunwoo greeted them on the side of a department store, his pretty, sparkling gaze hitting Johnny like a punch to the guts.

"I think he tried to hurt Yuta," Doyoung said, "but it was clumsy. I think Yuta had really injured him with the break up. Apparently he cut the necklace off his neck while he was sleeping and announced he was leaving when he woke up. It must have been humiliating for him, so he tried to humiliate Yuta too. Taeyong told Yuta he was having an affair, thinking it would be an insult to him but Yuta just used it as more justification to end the relationship. He took it to the alpha council to make it official. They approved it, obviously, and it swung totally in favour of Yuta. Taeyong is being held responsible for the failure of the relationship."

"But they were both having affairs, how can it just be Taeyong's fault?"

"Technically he instigated it, and Yuta never admitted to anything."

"So they are punishing him? How does this even make sense, surely the break up is punishment enough."

"Yes, but it's not an ordinary break up. Taeyong is a very famous omega and they were a very high profile couple. The alpha council probably think this is bad for their reputation."

Johnny shook his head in despair and disbelief. "I can't believe they can do this. And I can't believe Yuta made this happen."

"To be fair, Yuta didn't endorse this. He just wanted the relationship to be removed from the record, but he's not a member of the alpha council and the alpha council gets to make their own decisions."

"This is so bullshit."

"It's bad, I know." Doyoung sighed. "That's why I called you."

"What do you want me to do?"

Doyoung checked his watch. "I've planned a meeting with someone in the council so I can get more details, and confirm something. In the meantime, let's have dinner. I'll explain my plan to you then."

 

* * *

 

Johnny disliked having dinner with an omega present, because it meant they weren't allowed to eat and it was uncomfortable to have them just sitting there. But what was uncomfortable to Johnny was completely normal to Doyoung and Ten. Ten pulled him by the hand as they took a table in a nearby restaurant.

Johnny was impatient to hear Doyoung's plan. "Don't leave me in suspense, Doyoung. What's going to happen to Taeyong?"

Doyoung cleared his throat. "Well, so far I know that he's in detention. He has do a training course."

"A training course?"

"Yes, as in training to be a good omega. Wayward omegas used to get sent on those course back at college, don't you remember?"

"Oh, boy I remember..."

"It means he'll be assigned an alpha as a trainer. The potential trainers in consideration are alphas that want to bond with him. It's basically a way of finding him a new partner." Doyoung sighed. "On the upside, Taeyong was pretty famous, so there's been a bit of interest. On the downside, Taeyong is not a virgin, and above a certain age. His marriage prospects are pretty bad. All the alphas nominated are already married. They want Taeyong as a side piece."

"I can't believe Yuta would let this happen..."

"There's no point in blaming Yuta. Taeyong had a big part to play in this, both in the break-up and the punishment. The training is something he has agreed to."

"You mean, he wants this?"

"Well, it's what I've heard from the Council."

Ten, who had been listening quietly from Doyoung's side, suddenly interjected. "You have to understand that he's in a bit of a desperate situation. The break-up and damaged reputation aren't just bad for his marriage prospects, but also his career. Getting attached to a senior alpha means he at least gets some security."

"By senior alpha, you mean...?"

"Old," Doyoung said. "I had a quick look at the nominees and no one is under 40 so far."

"But Taeyong wants this?"

"Like Ten said, I doubt it. He's under pressure and emotionally vulnerable. But once he gets a new alpha bond, you know it's hard to break. He'll regret it in the end, being stuck to some old guy..."

Johnny squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed his temples. He vividly remembered the old house, the old tree, Hansol and Dr Shin. Taeyong wouldn't even get the dignity of marriage. His stomach twisted uncomfortably. "What are we going to do about it?"

Doyoung put his fingers together with a serious expression. "I think you should nominate as his trainer."

"Me?"

"I'm pretty sure you would get selected over the others. The council would favour someone who was young and unattached."

"Unattached? Doyoung, you know I'm in a relationship!"

Doyoung shrugged. "A relationship with a beta doesn't count in the eyes of the council, you know that. I'm not suggesting you bond with him. Just take responsibility for him until he cools off, and maybe by then Yuta would have come to his senses and this whole thing will go away. I'd nominate myself, but that would be be a bad look since Ten and I are applying for a marriage license. Really, it has to be you. And you're a good alpha. I trust you."

Johnny couldn't fight the fact that Doyoung's words had an effect on him. He was holding Johnny with such an intense gaze that Johnny felt cowardly for looking away. Still, he shook his head.

"I don't think you realise how much you're asking of me. Come back, train an omega? Just the thought of omega training makes me sick. It goes against everything I believe in."

"But that's why you're the only one who can do it. All I'm asking you to do is help your friend." He paused for a pious silence. "The three of us made a promise to protect him. And now it seems like you and Yuta aren't keeping your side of the bargain."

Johnny was annoyed that Doyoung was guilt-tripping him like this, and even more annoyed that it was working. When their food came, he was so eager for the distraction and forgot his awkwardness about eating in front of Ten.

 

* * *

 

After dinner, Doyoung announced that he was going to the council headquarters. "You can come too," he said, "or wait with Ten if you prefer."

"I'd prefer to wait with Ten."

"No problem."

They split up outside, Doyoung taking one direction and Johnny and Ten walking slowly down the other. It was a busy shopping district, and Ten seemed to enjoy looking around at the shop windows. Johnny was glad to get a chance to talk alone with him.

"Come on Ten, tell me what you think of this."

"You mean training Taeyong?" Ten smiled, his usual boyish grin. "Johnny, you know I won't tell you to do anything."

"Just tell me what you think."

"I won't say what I think of the plan, but I agree with Doyoung to this extent: when you left, you left with a lot of things unfinished. Wouldn't it be better to close off the loose ends?"

"Like... finish my law degree?"

"That's one thing. Then Yuta..."

"He's mad at me, and now I'm mad at him."

"Exactly why you should talk to him. You were his best friend, weren't you?"

"I guess."

"And Taeyong. I guess you know better than I do what needs to be done."

"What do you mean?"

"If you still have feelings for him, you've gotta do something about it."

Johnny looked down at the pavement as they walked. He was suddenly annoyed at Ten for bringing this up. "I'm really happy with Taeil," he said. "And I don't want to ruin it."

"Then isn't it better to close things off?"

They stopped at the intersection, and then began to walk back to where Doyoung had left them. Johnny was moody now, and didn't say much, so Ten filled the silence. "Doyoung and I have been trying to get the marriage license for ages, but it's harder than we thought."

"Why do you really need to get married?" Johnny wished he hadn't said that so directly, but Ten was not bothered.

"For me, well I'd love to have a wedding... and for him, he wants to get onto the alpha council and you have to married to be eligible."

"Doyoung on the council?" Johnny was momentarily surprised, but it did make sense. Doyoung had always been ambitious. "And his brother is married to someone on the council, right?"

"Yes, that's why we thought it wouldn't be so hard. But it seems like there's been a bit of opposition." He sighed. "There's always politics, you know..."

They waited for Doyoung at the corner of the main street. The advertisements on the buildings, lit up by LED lights, changed and flashed like Christmas decorations. Through the mist of his thoughts, Johnny heard Ten speak to him.

"Yuta said he's moving back to Japan. I don't know if he serious or not, but I think you should talk to him before it's too late."

Johnny turned back to look at Ten, and he could see all the LED lights reflected in his eyes.

"You and Yuta were my only alpha friends," he continued. "Apart from Doyoung, of course. I still miss you."

"I miss you too."

"Then please... let's be friends again."

Johnny couldn't remove himself from Ten's gaze. That hypnotic look... that was Ten's old trick. They only broke apart when Doyoung approached them.

"It's all sorted," Doyoung said, as he came to put his arm around Ten's waist. He was talking to Johnny. "I put you as a nominee."

"Hey - I never gave you my permission! I hadn't agreed to it yet!"

Doyoung shrugged. "We can't risk waiting, Johnny. If you get chosen, you can still turn it down at a later date. In the meantime, think about it."

Johnny made an obvious gesture of checking his watch. "It's late, I have to go. Taeil will be waiting for me."

Doyoung smiled. "Taeil the librarian."

"Taeil, the love of my life."

"I like Taeil," Ten said cheerfully. "We should make a date to all go out together sometime!"

Johnny thought that would probably never happen, not with the way Doyoung seemed to regard him. "Sure thing," he said, and headed back to the subway station.

 

* * *

 

That Saturday night Johnny stayed in with Taeil. His face was buried in the crook of Taeil's neck as they lay together in bed, Johnny groaning softly with his dick hard in Taeil's fist. He realised that they had left the television on in the living room, and he could just hear its muffled sounds. It was frustrating for some reason, and he felt more and more desperate to hurry up and come. They had been in this position for a long time and Taeil's strokes were becoming less and less powerful, suggesting that he was getting tired. Taeil had already come and he was soft between his legs.

This was how things usually went, and Taeil was always embarrassed about the fact he always came first. Johnny always had to assure him that he didn't mind, he loved getting him off and didn't matter if he couldn't always return the favour.

"Just a bit harder... harder," he mumbled, and Taeil increased the pace. He then massaged him with both hands. At last Johnny started to come and Taeil pumped him through it, until he was sensitive and sore. After he had let go, Taeil wiped his hand on Johnny's abdomen. "You make me so wet," he said, laughing softly. "It's like a hose." He began to climb out of the bed. "I just remembered I have to feed Shiro."

"Don't forget to turn off the TV."

"Will do."

Johnny rolled his head on the pillow and watched sleepily as Taeil pulled his dressing gown on. He was tired, but now relaxed. He listened to Taeil chatting to the kitten in the kitchen, opening his can of cat food. He touched the wet patches on his stomach, which were still sticky, but drying, and as he did so he rested his gaze on the photograph of them all at the old house. 

He squeezed his eyes shut, but he could suddenly picture a scene from the old days - it was Yuta sitting on the soccer field and Taeyong lying on the ground beneath him. Yuta was crouched over as if about to attack him, and then Taeyong held up a palm to his chest. Yuta fell down and pulled Taeyong into his arms, laughing. Johnny couldn't remember if this was a memory from something he had seen, or if he had just dreamed it. But it felt very familiar.

When he opened his eyes he felt a deep stirring in his abdomen and he didn't know why he was getting horny thinking about Taeyong and Yuta, especially after everything he had heard on the previous night. And if Taeil saw him get hard again, he would think he hadn't been fully satisfied and he might become depressed. He got up to take a cold shower.

 

* * *

 

Taeil stayed up after Johnny had gone to sleep. After he had showered and made himself clean, he no longer felt tired or sleepy. He watched Johnny fall asleep fondly, but then he decided to get up and go back to the kitchen. He took out his computer, and saw the last pages he had been looking at: searches for how to give better oral sex, and how to stay hard for longer. They hadn't been much use to him.

He'd been sent a chat request from Ten, but he had left it unread for a few days, feeling too awkward to come up with some small chat to say to him. Now he opened it up and started a conversation. Ten replied to him quickly. "Hey, how have you been?"

Taeil paused for a long time, thinking of how to say it without being too forward. "Can I ask you some questions about alphas? I've tried searching stuff, but I can't find any helpful information on public sites."

"Sure! Go ahead!"

"It's just that... I don't think I'm very good at satisfying him in the bedroom. I mean, it's easy to get him hard, but really hard to get him off."

"Ah... that's quite normal. They usually go for a long time..."

Taeil let out a sigh of relief. It didn't feel like Ten thought he was being weird.

He wrote some more: "I can never stay hard as long as him, and it just feels disappointing."

"If it makes you feel better that probably doesn't matter... Omegas don't usually stay hard for the whole thing either! I think it's normal."

"How often do you and your partner have sex?"

"Hmmmm, about twice a day?"

Taeil muttered fuck out loud. He barely managed twice a week, what with being tired from work and wanting to stay up to date with his favourite TV shows.

Ten added after a minute, "Alphas and omegas do it a lot, don't feel bad if you can't do it all the time. I have a few reading materials you probably haven't seen. I can lend them to you next time we meet if you'd like."

"Ah, thanks. That would be good."

Taeil turned the computer off and went to bed. Johnny was sleeping deeply, so he quickly kissed his hair then turned off the bed lamp.


	6. The Old and New Yuta

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johnny meets up with Yuta and leaves with conflicting feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to keep updates weekly, but life has been super busy lately, so apologies for the late chapter!

On Wednesday of the following week, Johnny received another unexpected text:

_Johnny... please come see me in Haeundae this Friday. I'm moving back to Japan and I want to speak to you in person before I go. I wasn't in a good state of mind the last time we met and I want to say things more clearly._

Johnny stared at Yuta's message for so long that it gave him a headache. Everyone seemed to want to march back into his life all at once, but after having seen Doyoung and Ten on the weekend he knew that he couldn't ignore this. Yuta moving back to Japan struck him as surprising - Yuta had been in Korea since he was 15 and his whole career had been based in Korea, he probably didn't have many connections still living in Japan. But considering the circumstances it was possible that he was moving to start over, and Johnny could sense that this would be the last chance he got to see him in a long time.

 

* * *

 

_Seven years earlier_

Johnny remembered how he had first rejoined Yuta after they had moved to the city for university. Yuta had been allocated to live in a different dormitory, one that he shared with other Japanese students. For the first month or so Johnny hardly saw him, until one day Yuta invited him to have dinner in the Japanese students common room.

There were not many institutions for alphas and omegas situated in Asia, so many Japanese students came to study in this college. They had their own dormitory and even a few of their own teachers. Up until that point it had never really occurred to Johnny that Yuta was Japanese: obviously he had known it, and Yuta spoke Korean in a Japanese accent (although this was difficult for Johnny to detect, since he also spoke Korean in a foreign accent), but they had only ever spoken to each other in Korean and Johnny had never known him in any other way.

When he arrived at the Japanese common room he heard Yuta speaking to a few of his dorm mates, and a cold feeling of distance came over him. He realised that he had never heard Yuta speak Japanese before, and his voice and manner while speaking it felt totally foreign to him. His usual light and musical way of speaking had been replaced with a far deeper and more serious tone.

Yuta's expression brightened when he saw Johnny. He switched to his usual, Korean, voice. "Ah, you came! Please make yourself at home."

Johnny looked around the common room cautiously. Even all the posters were in Japanese, and he barely understood a word of it. He looked back to Yuta. "It's been a long time."

"Yeah, we haven't really met at all since school started."

"I feel like I barely know you now," Johnny said in a joking way - although he partly said it because he did feel somewhat disorientated by Yuta speaking Japanese. "I almost feel like we should speak formally."

"Well," Yuta replied, "sometimes it is just natural that two people who have been friends will drift apart. Perhaps this should be the end of our friendship?"

Johnny was totally floored. "How can you say this!"

Yuta bit his lip, then burst into laughter. "Ah, look at your face! I was only joking."

"Geez Yuta. I seriously thought you were now more comfortable with the other Japanese students, and just wanted to be friends with them."

"Are you crazy? I can't stand anyone here!" (Johnny supposed this was an exaggeration because he had been speaking with the other students quite intimately when he had arrived). "The reason I asked you to come here is because I'm thinking I should organise a change of dorm. We should work something out together so we can get a room."

Johnny laughed with relief. "I'm so glad we're still friends."

Yuta continued, "I will speak to Doyoung as well. Maybe I'm stuck in my ways, but I would prefer to live with you guys. It feels a bit cold here, and I miss being with people that feel like family."

"Of course, we should organise something."

Johnny had been touched by Yuta's words, and he too thought that it would be good to live with Yuta and Doyoung again. Johnny liked his college room mates, but he couldn't help but feel they were less fun than the old house. The three of them had formed a unique bond, and it would be pointless to try and recreate it with another set of people.

Yuta eventually organised to have his room changed, and Johnny also spoke to his dorm boss. The boss of his dorm was a senior student in his final year, who had a sarcastic and dry manner but generally liked Johnny. He did however, make a disapproving face when Johnny said that he wanted to change his room.

"Why, you don't like it here?"

"Oh, uh, it's not that. I just wanted to stay with one of my old friends from my previous house." He paused, trying to think of a way to make it seem less like he was rejecting the current house. "My friend gets a bit homesick, and he wanted me around to make him feel better."

One of Johnny's room mates saw them talking and walked over. "What's the matter?" he asked.

"Johnny wants to move out of the dorm," the dorm leader replied.

"Oh really?"

Johnny felt a bit guilty. His room mate, Oh Sehun, was a student a year older than him and he had been accommodating to Johnny when he moved in. "It's my same-aged friend," he explained. "He wants me to move in with him. And another friend who's in the same course."

Sehun didn't seem bothered, but he never reacted strongly to anything. His most expressive facial expression was a slight raise of the eyebrow. "That makes sense. Who are your friends?"

"Uh, Nakamoto Yuta..."

"Nakamoto?" Chanyeol, the dorm leader, leaned over with a slight smirk. "Really Johnny, I didn't know he was your friend."

"Do you know him?"

"He's a Japanese student, but I seem to see him everywhere. He always seems to be around Lee Taeyong too. Ah, really, it makes me annoyed! The Japanese should chase their own omegas..."

"It's not like that," Johnny said quickly - but he was taken aback by the revelation that Yuta had been spending time with Tayeong without him knowing. "Lee Taeyong stayed in the same house as us when we were in high school. They're just old friends."

Chanyeol chuckled. "Friends? Alphas and omegas are never friends. Ah, Johnny you are so innocent."

Johnny laughed, to show that he was in on the joke. "But I'm serious. We lived like brothers, and we ate together so we don't really see him like that."

"But you've had your coming of age? I'm sure you feel that way about him, you included Johnny. No alpha is innocent."

This time Johnny couldn't reply. He thanked Chanyeol for approving his change of room application, then quickly went to pack his things.

 

* * *

 

_Friday_

Johnny didn't come to Haeundae very often. It was far from his house, and the glitz and glamour of the beach-side neighbourhood never appealed to him. They met at an outdoors ocean view landing. Yuta was looking serious and dapper, in a large pair of sunglasses. Johnny came to stand beside him and Yuta said nothing. They stood side by side watching the sea for a moment, until Johnny finally said, "Can you take your glasses off? The sun's already down."

Yuta lowered his glasses half way and gave Johnny a steely look. He then took them off completely and then spun around to face the passers by on the street. He waved to a few people. Johnny had almost forgotten that Yuta was a celebrity.

"Are you really that famous now that you have to wear sunglasses wherever you go?"

"No. Celebrities wear sunglasses so that people will notice them _more_. Those girls over there were watching me and waiting for me to take them off." Johnny looked over to where Yuta had nodded and saw two girls who were taking photos with their phones, hiding their blushing faces behind their hands.

"That's nice for them."

"Anyway Johnny, it's good that you could come out. I had a few things I wanted to say to you before I left. I'm catching the ferry from Nampo tomorrow morning."

"Why are you going back to Japan? I didn't even think you liked it there. It almost feels as though you are just running away from all the mess you made here."

Yuta gave a loud, unfriendly laugh. "Running away? That's a very hypocritical thing for you to say, Johnny. Although it did occur to me when I was making this move, that I was 'doing a Johnny'. Perhaps we should start calling it that."

Johnny shifted on his feet, examining a non-existent stain on his shoe. "You didn't answer the question."

"I don't know why you think I don't like Japan. It's my home country, and even if I'm famous here, people still see me as Japanese. Besides, I thought I might try to get in touch with the 'other Yuta'. I'm a totally different person in Japan, you know. For some reason when I speak Korean, my emotions seem to flow out of me like a tap. It's not like that in Japanese - I'm very calm and careful. But in Korean it's so easy to say things, like 'I love you'. It just doesn't sound right in Japanese. You probably have the same thing with English."

"I suppose."

"It's getting cold now. We should go inside."

"Why did you want us to come to Haeundae for anyway?"

Yuta gave him an annoyed look. "I live here. Let's go to my apartment."

It shouldn't have come as a surprise to Johnny that Yuta lived in such a fancy apartment. His first contract for the Champion's League had been impressive, and he supposed that Taeyong had contributed to the income with his modelling fame. When Yuta let him inside he immediately walked over to the large glass window that overlooked the marine neighbourhood, the little lights of the apartment buildings glittering like stars. The apartment smelled like both Yuta and Taeyong - two scents that Johnny found wonderfully familiar. When he turned back he noticed the suitcase Yuta had left open on the rug, half packed with his clothes.

"What are you going to do with the apartment?"

"I suppose Taeyong will live here. Once he comes out of detention."

"When will that be?"

Yuta shrugged as he picked up a few things from the lounge chair and threw them into the suitcase. "Not long probably. I suspect this punishment is really ceremonial more than anything. He's been staying in one of the rooms at the council headquarters, it's hardly prison."

"I still can't believe what you did to him."

"What I did to him? That was all the council's idea. I think the 'punishment' is over the top too, but I had no say in it."

"But you literally went and reported him to the council."

"I requested for our relationship to be de-legitimised. That was for his benefit as well as mine. It means that he is free to find someone else to be with now. I swear I had nothing to do with the rest of it."

"I heard you cut the necklace off his neck while he was sleeping. Wasn't that a bit too much?"

"I just didn't want us to get into a fight about it. Besides, it's my necklace and I can take it back if I want to."

"I don't get it, Yuta." Johnny took a seat and went back to staring at the window. "What went wrong between you two?"

Yuta came to sit beside him. Johnny couldn't help but feel a little buzzed from his scent coming closer. "There wasn't a lot right between us - it was kinda off from the start. I always had this feeling that I was only dating him because I had to, because it was logical. Then after we bonded I became dependent on his body." He paused. "Have you ever knotted anyone before?" Johnny shook his head. "It's unreal, to be honest. But once you get that high you feel like you always need it. It's kind of like a drug. And perhaps because I lacked the emotional connection with Taeyong I never felt that great about it afterwards."

"How did you lack an emotional connection with him? We were always so close."

"Just what you said - _we_ were always so close. Not me and him, but the three of us. Without you there it didn't really make much sense."

"You are blaming me for this?"

Yuta shrugged. "See it that way if you want. But that's what happened; after you left everything changed at once. We ended up together, but everyone always said he liked you more."

Johnny cleared his throat. "Doyoung nominated me to be Taeyong's trainer, as part of the punishment - or correction, whatever they call it."

"Okay, great. Why are you telling me?"

"Just wanted to know what you thought."

"It doesn't matter. He's not my omega any more."

Yuta stood up and Johnny watched his expression carefully. "You know there are quite a few older alphas who want to claim him as a side piece. Doesn't that bother you?"

"Are you trying to make me feel guilty? This isn't my problem."

"I thought you wouldn't want him bonded to some old alpha, after what happened to Hansol..."

At this Yuta laughed harshly. "Don't all of a sudden pretend you care about Hansol. You never even visited him in hospital."

Johnny though it would be pointless to continue this argument. He sat dumbly as Yuta went to open the fridge. It was mostly empty aside from a bottle of sake. Johnny watched him pour it into cups. "I thought you hated sake," he said.

"It's true, I don't like drinking. I never drank while I was playing soccer. But these days I'm not playing, and this is a special occasion." He beckoned Johnny to come to the kitchen counter. "Drink with me," he said. "I have a toast for us." He raised his cup. "To the end of our friendship."

Johnny almost took a sip, but then he put the cup down. "End of our friendship? What are you talking about?"

"I officially broke up with Taeyong so now I'm officially breaking up with you too."

"Geez Yuta, way to be dramatic." Johnny regretted his words when he saw the look on Yuta's face. His large almond eyes were brimming with sadness. He wasn't joking this time.

"I always hoped that you would be a friend I could have around forever, but now I realise that friendship is impossible for us. When I got my injury a few months ago, I had never been more lonely in my life. It was then I realised that I really had nothing. Taeyong didn't love me, you abandoned me and I had to give up the only thing I ever enjoyed doing. I don't know how you could possibly expect I would still consider you my friend after you've been missing from my life for so long, and at my worst moments."

"Yuta... I..."

"But I do realise I can't expect you to live your life for me. I'm not going to live my life for you either." He drained his cup.

Johnny sipped his cup slowly, enough to be polite but not enough to show he cared for the toast. Yuta was being dramatic, but Johnny could see that he was telling the truth, and there was no denying that Johnny had abandoned him. He felt foolish for not realising that Yuta would have taken it so badly.

His sense of guilt persuaded him to stay at the apartment. He thought it would be wise to make sure Yuta didn't drink too much and miss his ferry. He offered to help Yuta with any packing or cleaning, and he texted Taeil that he wouldn't be home until tomorrow. Yuta put the sake away but he was still in a sour mood. He did, however, accept Johnny's offer to help out with chores.

Cleaning and packing made them both tired, so they didn't talk much. At around midnight everything had been sorted and Johnny took a seat on the lounge, where he had a view of the night scene out of the window. Yuta lay down on the same lounge so that his head was near Johnny's thigh.

"Honestly, this is a nice apartment. I really like the view."

"You know what I really can't stand about it though?" Yuta mumbled sleepily. "That it still smells like him."

"You're right, it does. It smells like both of you."

"When I can smell him my body wants to fuck him."

Johnny looked down onto Yuta's head, Yuta's eyes staring absently at the floor. He was considered quite handsome by the public, mainly for his sparkly eyes and big smile, but Johnny had always found most attractive how he could seem at once vulnerable and powerful, and he suspected that this was where his real charm lay. So to him the moody, sorrowful Yuta was equally beautiful as the charming, funny Yuta. He was struggling. He knew that Yuta had been serious about ending their friendship, but he still felt glad to be with him. It was a bitter-sweet happiness, and even now that he was with Yuta, he still missed Yuta.

"I still find it hard to believe he didn't love you. I had this memory the other day, I think it was a memory: you and him were on the hill by the soccer field and you were playing together. When we were about 15, I guess. Back in the house. He put his hand against your chest, like this..." He placed his palm over his own heart.

Yuta lifted himself up onto his elbow, so that he could give Johnny a confused stare. "I don't precisely remember it," he said. "Are you sure it wasn't you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You were the one who was leaning over him. Didn't you two always sit together on that hill anyway?"

"Oh..." Johnny went back to staring at the window. Against the twinkling lights he could see the reflection of himself on the couch and Yuta at his side. "I guess that's why I remember it so well."

 

* * *

 

_Seven years earlier - first year of university_

It had been a sunny day in Autumn, and Johnny had been sitting atop the amphitheatre in the university grounds. A chill wind shook the leaves of the ginko trees that lined the paved walkways, and students were scattered around the grass. This was the garden near where the omega colleges were, and most of the students around them were omegas.

Johnny was sitting with Oh Sehun. Despite moving to another dorm, they had remained friends. A few of Sehun's other classmates had joined them.

"Hey look," Sehun said, tapping Johnny on the arm. "Isn't that your friend? Nakamoto..."

Johnny peered a few rows down and sure enough there was Yuta, standing in his training gear and knee high soccer socks. He had his hands on his hips and he was chatting animatedly to two omegas who were seated on the steps. One of them was Hansol, who at that time worked as a student support staff with the omega colleges, while his husband Dr Shin was a teacher at the university. Hansol was very popular with the omega student cohort, since he was not much older than them many students regarded him as a friend. The omega who was sitting beside him must be one such student.

"Do you know who's that he's talking to?"

"Uh, that's Dr Shin's omega..."

"No, the other one."

Sehun squinted at them. "I think it's that Thai kid, what's his name again? I seem to see him everywhere these days."

Recognition dawned on Johnny. "Oh, right, it must be Ten."

"Yeah, that's his name."

"I've met him at the English language association. He's nice."

Sehun smirked. "So that's why you go to those English language activity days. To pick up, right?"

Johnny laughed. "Well, it is one way to meet people."

"Seems like Nakamoto is beating you though. So many omegas love him, he just flirts non stop with them. But I've heard he chats up girls in the main campus too. He's kind of shameless."

"Yeah, I guess Yuta is pretty flirty..."

"It's good for the short term, but not for the long term. Just my opinion of Yuta, but I don't think he'll be able to find an omega who wants to be claimed by him. They want certainty, and he's too frivolous. Something about him just doesn't seem like an alpha anyway. Maybe it's because he's too short."

Yuta had finally noticed Johnny waving to him, so he came over, jumping over the steps. He didn't usually join in when Johnny was chatting to Sehun and his friends, since Yuta had a bad attitude towards them. "I don't like them," he would always say. "They're snobs." Johnny felt that the feeling was pretty mutual so he never pushed the issue. Yuta came to sit on the opposite side of Johnny, away from Sehun.

"I noticed you were talking to Ten," Johnny said.

"He's cute, isn't he? I convinced him to come watch me at the game tomorrow."

"I feel like you've convinced everyone in the school to come watch you."

"I need as many cute guys as possible to encourage me."

"Oh, there's that soccer game," Sehun butted in. He sounded uninterested, but wanted to be in the conversation. "It's the final right?"

"Yeah, that's right."

"Best of luck. I've been wondering actually, what's your type? Johnny was just telling me you're a big fan of omegas, but do you have a type?"

"Not really, I like them all."

Sehun raised his eyebrow. "But who do you think is the most attractive omega you know?"

"Hansol," Yuta replied without a beat.

Sehun seemed vaguely annoyed by this answer. "Ignoring the fact he's already married, isn't it weird to like an omega who's taller than you?"

"No," Yuta replied, before jumping up. He held out his hand to Johnny. "Come on, let's go back to the college. I need your help with something."

As they walked back to the college Johnny felt the urge to apologise for Sehun's jab at Yuta's height. "Sorry if Sehun was being a little direct, that's just his sense of humour."

Yuta shrugged. "It doesn't bother me."

In their room, he paced around as he got changed for dinner. Yuta was always messy and disorganised and he couldn't find his shirt. Johnny sat on his bed and watched him. "What did you need my help with?"

"I just wanted you to come back with me," he said. "I'm feeling nervous about the final tomorrow, actually." He paused in mid thought, as he held his clean t-shirt in his hands. Johnny beckoned him over, and they sat together on the bed.

"It's good that you're nervous," he said. "People are supposed to be nervous about finals. It will make you play better."

Yuta smiled at him. "Always wise words from Johnny."

"Is Taeyong going to the game too?"

Yuta sighed theatrically. "I have no idea. He always says he's busy."

"I suppose he's been busy lately. He has a life of his own, you know."

"Yes, but I think his life should revolve around me!"

They both laughed.

After dinner, Johnny stayed up in the common room to study until it was late. Yuta studied with him for most of the time, until he packed up and said he was going to bed. "Come soon, okay?" he said, and Johnny understood what he meant. Johnny packed up shortly after. When he got to the room, he joined Yuta in his bed.

This was something they did every now then, going back to when they had lived in the old house - although back then they had shared a bedroom with Doyoung so most of their secret love making took place in the garden or bathroom. Johnny had considered it a sort of higher-masturbation, since it was more or less an exercise to relieve tension. The sexual tension had surged in Johnny as he approached eighteen - a kind of second puberty when his alpha characteristics took hold. It was easier, and better, to get off in the hand of another person he had found.

Johnny realised later that he had tried to recreate this kind of sexual play with many of the betas he had met in the outside world. It never really worked. Yuta was someone who knew him deeply, and as he was an alpha too, there was no sense of surprise or embarrassment about their bodies. He thought there had been a sort of innocence he shared with Yuta that he later lost.

 

* * *

 

_Present day_

Johnny spent that night with a knot in his chest. He had arrived with anger at Yuta, but this had been turned back into guilt over his own past. Their friendship had been long and complicated, and it was impossible to untangle Yuta from his heart.

He stayed until morning and made sure Yuta caught the ferry in time.


	7. The Omega's Journal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johnny remembers the days when he first became friends with Ten. He searches for a mysterious book on omegas, while Ten starts to become involved with Doyoung.

_Six years earlier - second year of university_

At the university there was a forum for alphas held every Wednesday night and Doyoung always went. He was always on the panel and occasionally made presentations. Like most guys in the law degree, he liked to debate, and debating topics relating to the society and conduct of alphas was of particular interest to him.

Johnny always came, not to participate but to watch. Yuta never went - he said the forum was boring and besides, it clashed with his soccer practice. Doyoung always tried to persuade Taeyong to come, plying him with sweet talk. "I'm doing a special presentation," he'd say, "I'd really like you to see it. It would mean a lot to me if you came." Taeyong seemed to enjoy this begging, but he always declined. He had a part time job working at a café, and he was rostered on for Wednesday nights.

It was at these forum nights that Johnny first came to know Ten. He had already met Ten at the English language center, where they had done an induction together and Johnny had provided Ten with some help learning Korean. Ten had come from Thailand, so they immediately bonded over both being foreigners. He claimed to have spent the last five years as a novice in a temple, which was the custom for omegas in his country. Johnny had found Ten to be quite sweet and even childlike at these meetings but it was at the forum that Johnny really got to know him.

Since it was a forum for alphas, omegas were not really expected to attend, although they were not explicitly banned either and they often came in little clusters of three or four and sat at the back. Ten always took a seat in the front row, with Johnny and the other alphas. At first, Johnny assumed it was just because Ten knew him, but he later realised that Ten wanted to be provocative on purpose. He always reacted strongly to the speakers, sometimes even standing up and walking out. When it came to Doyoung he always interrupted to ask questions.

On this particular night Doyoung had been discussing with the forum panel the merits of taking an omega to a "dinner date" as a first date. Doyoung spoke in favour of it: "I would think highly of any omega that would accept a dinner date early on. It's a good chance for him to show self control and discipline, and it proves he cares more about my company than my money."

"It puts pressure on you to be interesting," another member of the panel mused. "Because he hasn't yet decided whether he likes you. Wouldn't it be better to go to a movie together?"

Doyoung rejected this idea, since the conversation was derailing into simple dating advice, and not a protocol for alpha and omega relations.

Ten stood up to ask a question. At this point they weren't taking questions from the audience, but from previous experience they knew this wasn't going to stop him.

"Will Doyoung please give a demonstration of the kind of romantic conversation he would make on this dinner date? To please an omega who is hungry and bored..."

Doyoung cleared his throat. "Well, it depends on the person. What sort of things we had in common..."

"What would you say to me if I was your date?"

Doyoung glared at Ten as though he was a mosquito that had crept in through a hole in the fly screen. "I would never ask you on a date, so it doesn't matter."

The alphas applauded and laughed at this answer, and Ten was forced to take a seat again. When Johnny checked his face to see whether he was angry, he noticed that Ten's cheeks seem to glow. He imagined Ten was probably plotting his revenge.

After the forum Johnny waited for Doyoung so they could walk back to their dorm together, but Doyoung was stuck talking to someone and Johnny waited alone. He was checking his text messages on one of the seats when he saw Ten come back to look for his jacket that he had left behind. When he picked it up, he sat on the adjacent seat so that he could make conversation with Johnny.

"You must think I'm a bad omega," he said, although he said it with a cheeky smile.

"I don't really care if you're good or bad." 

Ten was kind of infamous around the college these days, and all the alphas knew him for his sharp mouth and loud personality. Johnny had heard some say that he needed a dick in his mouth to shut him up, and he wasn't sure if they said that because they hated him, or because they were attracted to him. Johnny thought that Ten was attractive - he was small but athletic, and he had a sharp and intelligent gaze that could hold you in a spell. He made you feel kind of dazzled when he spoke directly to you. The only other person Johnny knew who had the ability to do that was Yuta. Coincidentally, Yuta was probably the only other alpha, aside from himself, that Ten seemed to like and get along with.

"We're in a funny situation you know. Us omegas, I mean. Even if alphas treat us badly we're kind of programmed to need them. I really think that's the only reason we exist - for their sake, and they know it too. We have this thing, this heat cycle, that means we go crazy and we have to suffer if we don't have an alpha to take care of us. Sometimes, we might feel sick or miserable, and the scent of an alpha can immediately make us feel better. We're like those puppy dogs that have been bred so much that they can only survive with extreme human intervention, and those dogs exist for no other purpose but to entertain their owners."

"Well, Ten, I wouldn't call you a dog."

"Wouldn't you? What's our purpose other than to get fucked?"

Johnny was startled by Ten's harsh language, but he wasn't offended. "Well, it's more companionship, isn't it?"

"Exactly! Companions! Man's best friend!" He picked up a pamphlet from the table then threw it on the ground. "You guys have a forum to discuss how best to train us to be obedient!"

"It's not like that, it's..." Johnny was struggling for a way to defend it. He had never really seen it this way before. He had believed that omegas suffered from a weakness that alphas existed to help them with, and that alphas and omegas suffered equally from natural urges that they had to always keep in check. Ten had made a point. "Okay, I think you're right."

Ten nodded. "There's a book you should read. I've found a few translations of it online, but the real one might be in the library. It was written by a Korean omega, anonymously, called something like "The Omega's Journal." When I read it, it really helped me in understanding why I was suffering."

"I'll look it up."

"I thought you might be interested. I feel like you and Yuta are the only alphas who really get it, the rest of them have their heads stuck in their own delusions. Or they are just mean."

Johnny lowered his voice. "Doyoung is trying to be good, you know. He's a bit different to us, he was raised by an alpha and omega. He's like a pure-bred."

"He's like an inbred you mean."

Doyoung had finished his discussion and was coming over. "What are you talking about?" he asked. "I thought I heard my name."

"I called you inbred," Ten replied.

Doyoung rolled his eyes. "Come on, we better get back." When Ten started to follow them, he said, "why are you coming too?"

"Isn't it one of your alpha manners to walk with me after dark?"

Doyoung looked suspiciously at Johnny. "Were you two flirting?"

"Of course not!" Ten replied. "Johnny is not that kind of guy. We're good friends."

They walked together the rest of the way to the dorm, Johnny leaving Doyoung at theirs and taking Ten all the way to his. He left him at the gate. "I better not get too close," he said. "It looks suspicious when an alpha hangs around an omega dorm."

"Thanks for walking me back. Don't forget the book!"

Something about the way Ten had said he was not "that kind of guy" left Johnny with a fluttering feeling in his gut. He felt that Ten might have misread him, and he was in fact just like all the other alphas, but he had also inspired a new desire in Johnny. He became determined to read the book Ten had told him about.

 

* * *

 

Johnny's initial attempts to find the book were unsuccessful. He searched online but every copy he found had been either deleted, or blocked. He searched the library catalogue, and found a match but when he went to the shelf call number to find it, the book wasn't there. He asked the librarian, who was a beta from the main university campus and he hadn't heard of the book. He went into the librarian's office to ask someone, and when he came back he told Johnny that the book had been added to a blacklist but he couldn't tell him why.

This discovery inspired an even stronger curiosity in Johnny. What had been in this book - supposedly just the diaries of an anonymous omega - that made the university library need to ban it? On further investigation of the blacklist he found that it had been put in place by the Alpha Council.

He mentioned the book to Doyoung, who also had not heard of it.

"Why do you think it was blacklisted?"

Doyoung frowned as he thought about it. "Who wrote it? Maybe the identity of the author is an issue?"

"I really want to read it now. The blacklist just made me more curious."

"You should ask Dr Shin. He's on the Alpha Council so he might have some idea of why it was blacklisted."

Johnny followed this advice and sent Dr Shin an email requesting a time to discuss some things. The doctor was usually quite receptive to students who wanted to talk about their problems, typically problems of a medical nature, but he was someone that you could talk to about emotional problems too. Johnny was always popular with the teachers, for his good grades and cheerful personality. Dr Shin invited him to come to his house after dinner.

The house felt intimidating to Johnny, and when he first stepped through the door, he found himself subconsciously holding his bag to his chest. He realised later that it must have been the alpha scent - a scent of a particular alpha can often create a sense of danger. Dr Shin invited him into the living room.

"What's the problem you wanted to talk about?" he asked.

"Uh, it's not really a problem," Johnny replied. "It's about a book I've been looking for. I wanted to know if you could tell me about it."

"What's the book?"

"It's called the Omega's Journal. I thought it was in the library, but I found out it had been blacklisted."

"Ah, right. I know the one. Why did you want to read it?"

"It's not so much that I wanted to read it, but I was curious about why it had been blacklisted. I don't know what's in it, and I won't be able to read it now, but I want to know why."

The doctor scratched his chin. "I see. It seems that the blacklist itself has made this book interesting to you, is that right? To be honest, it wasn't a very interesting book at all. It was the diaries of an omega who was married to one of the council members, and had been feeling vindictive since they had a falling out and written a rather slanderous account of their relationship. Later the omega felt sorry for having written this and he requested that it should be removed from the internet and the library."

"So it was the author himself who requested to have it removed?"

"That's what I said."

"What was his name?"

"I think you should respect his wish to remain anonymous."

"Of course. Sorry. Anyway, I think you answered my question, sir. I should get going, I don't mean to interrupt your evening." He stood up and bowed.

Dr Shin ushered him towards the front door. As he was putting on his shoes, Johnny suddenly realised what was so uncomfortable about the house. It lacked the balanced scent of an omega. "Where is Hansol?" he asked the doctor.

Dr Shin seemed somewhat surprised. "Ah, I forgot that you used to know him. Yes, he's in the hospital. Perhaps I should have told you and your friends."

"Is he okay?"

"He's perfectly fine. Perhaps you would like to visit him sometime."

Johnny said good night with an uncomfortable feeling. He had no choice but to go back to Ten and admit that he wasn't able to read the book but he had done everything he could to try. Since he now knew the reason it had been blacklisted, he now wanted to know the reason it meant so much to Ten.

 

* * *

 

Johnny often visited the café where Taeyong worked. He made sure he was there just as Taeyong finished his shift so they could sit together for a bit and catch up. The café was near the alpha and omega dorms, so it was always full of people they knew and Johnny was sure there were rumours flying around when people saw them sitting together. The rumours were countered by the fact that Yuta and Doyoung often came along to join them, and everybody knew about Yuta and Doyoung's attraction to Taeyong since they were always fighting for his attention. To an onlooker it was impossible to tell who Taeyong's lover really was. At that point it was nobody - when Johnny met him, he kept his feelings in check and spoke to him like a friend.

On this particular night he was hoping to have a conversation about the Omega's Journal. Johnny was curious if Taeyong had read it, and whether he could tell him about it. Unfortunately Yuta and Doyoung came in before Taeyong's shift was over.

They sat together at a table. When Taeyong walked past, Yuta playfully slapped his backside.

Taeyong pushed his hand away, blushing. "I'm still working."

"Don't be an ass Yuta," Doyoung said.

"I'm not, he likes it. He's laughing."

When Taeyong came over after 6pm, there was no spare chair at their table, so Yuta pulled him onto his lap. Taeyong blushed as Yuta wrapped his arms around his waist, but Doyoung immediately stood up to offer Taeyong his seat. He went to another table to pull up another chair, so Taeyong had to accept it.

While Doyoung was looking for another chair, Johnny noticed Ten by the jukebox. He was flicking through the catalogue laughing as he chatted to two other omegas. He had never seen Ten at this café before, but it was true that Ten had a habit of randomly appearing everywhere. He was talking so loudly that Doyoung noticed him too, and shot him a disapproving glare. When he looked their way, Yuta and Johnny waved him over.

"Doyoung just brought another chair so you could sit down!" Yuta said, laughing.

"Why, thank you." Ten took the chair and Doyoung grumpily looked for another one.

When he got back he squeezed himself between Yuta and Taeyong. He turned to Taeyong and spoke to him directly. "I have some tickets to an outdoor concert in the city parks. Since I got my drivers licence I was thinking of driving up there this weekend. Would you like to come?"

"What concert is it?"

"Classical. Bach, I think."

"I'd like to go, but I have auditions this weekend for a dance comp."

"I'll go with you," Johnny said. "If you're looking for someone to go with."

Ten was watching them with an amused expression. "I think Doyoung was trying to ask Taeyong on a _date_."

Doyoung shot Ten a death glare, but Ten only smiled in reply.

"In that case, why don't you go with him, Ten?" Yuta said. "I think it would be great to see _you two_ on a date."

Ten shook his head. "I'm sure Doyoung would rather take me to an expensive restaurant so he can eat in front of me. I need a lot of disciplining, don't I Doyoung?"

"Well, I can bring some delicious snacks to the concert and eat them in front of you, how about that?"

"Excellent. It's a date!"

 

* * *

 

To everyone's surprise, the date really happened. Doyoung seemed tense afterwards and he refused to talk about it. Ten still came to the forum, and still sat in the front but this time he didn't ask any questions. Even so, Doyoung seemed uncomfortable in his presence, his eyes always falling onto Ten and then darting away quickly.

Johnny whispered to him at the end, since it was the first time he had caught a moment alone with Ten for a while. "I couldn't find the book," he said.

"Huh? What book?"

"The Omega's Journal. I thought the library had it, but they said it had been blacklisted by the Alpha Council."

Ten nodded. "I think that's something they would do."

"Can you tell me about what was in the book?"

Ten smiled wistfully. "It's just full of all the stuff that's in every omega's heart. If you talk openly with any omega, he will tell you what it means."

Johnny was frustrated that Ten was being enigmatic with him now, but he accepted it. "How was your date with Doyoung?"

"The concert was good." He smiled devilishly. "Doyoung behaved himself. He didn't even bring any snacks."

"That's good to hear. Do you like him now?"

"I don't know. But the animal part of me - the omega part of me - tells me that I do."

Doyoung was coming over. Ten quickly stood up and left.

 

* * *

 

Doyoung sighed as he and Johnny made their way back to the dorm.

"What's the matter?" Johnny asked him.

"Ten," Doyoung replied. "He makes me feel so... fiery."

"Fiery with anger?"

"Anger, frustration, annoyance. I can't stop thinking about him."

"Maybe you like him?"

Doyoung looked him directly in the eye, his gaze dark and earnest. "I've never wanted to fuck someone so much in my life."

Johnny laughed. "Wow, you really had a turnaround."

"No I didn't, not really. I always think about fucking him whenever he comes to forum, and even when he interrupts me. But that night at the park was first time we were alone together, and it was so different. I really wanted to throw myself on him, but not just in _that_ way. I felt like I wanted to hold him, look after him. I always thought I would prefer to have an omega like Taeyong, someone pretty and refined. I'd never expected I'd have feelings like this for Ten."

"Are you going to ask him out then?"

Doyoung sighed. "I can try."

 

* * *

 

A week later Johnny found Doyoung sitting in the dorm lounge, furiously pouring over a small book. Johnny recognised it as the infamous _Manual for Correct Conduct in Alpha and Omega Relationships_. Everyone had to read it for school.

"What's up?" Johnny asked him. "Studying the manual?"

Doyoung looked up briefly. "I have another date with Ten."

"Congrats." Johnny smiled as he watched Doyoung's creased brow. "But why are you reading the manual? Are you nervous about it?"

"No, I just want to do things right. This is my first relationship, and I have a lot to learn."

Johnny wanted to say that he should just act natural, but then he remembered that this kind of by-the-book approach probably _was_ natural for Doyoung, and he left him alone.

He went to his room to get changed, and bumped into Yuta who was on his way out.

"I'm going to the hospital," Yuta told him. "Visiting Hansol. Do you want to come?"

"I can't. I have an appointment."

Yuta shrugged and said goodbye. Johnny was glad not to tell him that he had actually arranged to meet Taeyong, since it seemed treacherous to meet Taeyong without Yuta. But he felt there was something very important he needed to find out, and he could only do that if they spoke alone.

 

* * *

 

Johnny met Taeyong at the café, just as he was finishing his shift. They took a walk together.

They walked around the university park, past where Yuta played his soccer games, and onto the garden with the pond and the bridge. There was a hanging wisteria tree in the garden, and clusters of ducklings were wandering around beneath, formed in tight little groups. They scattered when Taeyong and Johnny came closer.

"Didn't you have auditions for a dance comp?" Johnny asked. "How did they go?"

"It was fine. I got in this time."

"Will I be able to watch you dance?"

Taeyong bit his lip, but smiled. "You can sometime, I suppose."

"I don't think I've ever seen any of your performances. You always keep them secret from me."

"It's not really keeping them secret from you. It's just that I'm embarrassed about you seeing me dance."

"I'm sure you're really good."

They were silent for a few minutes as they watched the sunlight fade into the mist of dusk. "I've been thinking about this book lately," Johnny told him. "It's called The Omega's Journal. Have you read it?"

Taeyong shook his head. 

"Ten told me about it but I can't read it because it got blacklisted. But he said it was a book about everything that's in an omega's heart. After he said that I was wondering - what do I know about your heart?"

"What am I feeling, you mean?"

"Well, something like that."

"I don't really know. I feel like I have a lot of ambition in me now." He looked up at Johnny, but looked away quickly. That was such an omega thing to do, Johnny realised, and although he always thought it was cute, it suddenly bothered him.

"Tell me about your ambition. You want to be a dancer?"

Taeyong shrugged. "Not particularly. But I don't want to end up like a typical omega. I want to see the world and do things, not just be tied to an alpha. When I was at the dance comp, one of the judges was from a modelling agency and they approached me about a modelling opportunity. I thought that was exciting. Does it seem too ambitious to you?"

"Not at all. I'm excited for you too."

Taeyong smiled shyly. "Johnny, you're so different from the other alphas."

That was not the first time Johnny had heard that - Ten had said something like that too. He wasn't sure how he felt about it. "Why am I different?"

"You don't ever make me feel pressured. It's not that I don't appreciate them, but Yuta and Doyoung are always trying to make me do things, make me watch soccer, make me go to forums. You never ask me anything, but you always seem to be by my side when I want you."

Johnny's heart swelled with pride at these words. He felt a sudden and powerful desire to kiss Taeyong, but considering everything Taeyong had just said about how Johnny never pressured him, and how he didn't want to be attached to an alpha, he thought it wasn't the right moment. He held back and brushed a leaf off Tayeong's shoulder instead.

 

* * *

 

A month later, Doyoung arrived at the Alpha Forum holding Ten's hand. The campus was already abuzz with gossip about their relationship, but this was the much anticipated confirmation. Ten was even wearing Doyoung's gold necklace.

The members of the panel couldn't resist the chance to make snide comments. "Was it hard to get that necklace on him, Doyoung? Did you have to pin him down?"

"I had to do all sorts of things to make him obedient," Doyoung replied, but he said it with his usual eye roll and Johnny suspected that he was being sarcastic. The others didn't pick up on it though.

"You should prove it to us, now. Make him sit on the floor for the whole forum."

"No, make him _kneel_ in front of you for the whole forum."

Doyoung nodded, and Ten walked up to the desk at which the panel were sitting. As instructed, he knelt in front of where Doyoung was sitting, keeping his back straight and looking forward as though staring right into Doyoung's crotch.

"It's seems like Doyoung's a master trainer after all. He's tamed the most unruly omega."

"I feel like he probably wasn't that hard to train," one of the panel said, and Doyoung made his mouth into a line but didn't reply. "I always thought Ten was the sort to fall down for any dick." 

Johnny watched both Doyoung and Ten's expressions carefully, but neither made any reaction. He assumed they were joking, and in hindsight they probably were, but something about that event seemed ominous to him.

After the forum, Doyoung was talking with one of the panel, so Johnny took the chance to pull Ten aside.

"What ever happened to the fierce omega who didn't want to be treated like a dog?"

Ten blinked at him in surprise, then smiled. "When did I ever say that? What I said is that you treat us like dogs, and you do. I never said I didn't want it. I'm honest, and I'll admit that I am a slave to my biology as much as any omega."

"But why did you let the panel humiliate you?"

"I wanted to show Doyoung in a good light. If I misbehaved, it would reflect badly on him. I'm willing to sacrifice my pride to protect his."

"Really? Just because he's dating you now?"

"Yes! I now understand why so many omegas try to get married early. Having an alpha makes your life so much easier. But - honestly, there's something special about Doyoung." He sighed. "I know he seemed annoying to me, but I've learned a new side of him. The more time we spend together, the more I learn to love him. He's good, and he's smart. But most importantly he's good. I think I'm okay being a slave to someone who's good."

"That sounds like a paradox," Johnny said. "If someone was truly good, he wouldn't keep you as a slave."

"You don't think Doyoung is good?"

"Probably not in the way you do." Johnny sighed as he saw that Doyoung was approaching them and they wouldn't be able to talk for much longer. "But I guess. He's a good friend."


	8. The Manual

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taeil secretly goes out to meet Ten, and learns about Johnny's history with Taeyong.

On the night that Johnny went to meet Yuta, Taeil went out to meet Ten. For some reason he kept this a secret from Johnny, not wanting Johnny to know that he had initially approached Ten for sex advice.

They met in a small burger bar downtown. Taeil was shocked by how quickly Ten ate - he had only taken two bites and Ten was already finished.

"I have to learn how to eat fast so I don't annoy my boyfriend," Ten explained.

"I hope you don't mind me saying, it must be annoying for you to go out whenever there's an alpha around and you can't eat or drink. To me that kind of defeats the purpose of going out at all."

Ten smiled. "You are right to say that. That's why most of my friends are girls and other omegas. We don't really like to have alpha friends - we just need one alpha for a relationship and that's it."

"But Johnny?"

"Oh, Johnny and Yuta are a special case for me."

When Taeil had finished eating 10 minutes later, Ten passed him a book. "I thought this might interest you. Every alpha and omega has to read it, and I think it's a good guide for having sex with alphas." Taeil examined the cover and spine. The title of the book was, _Manual for the Correct Conduct of Alpha Omega Relationships._ Ten continued: "You don't need to read too much into the manners and obedience stuff, although you can if you want to. Even if you are using it for sex, some of the rituals are worth trying. There's a bit where it tells you to do things like just kneel in front of him, keeping your head in line with his cock, but you don't touch him. It's just like making yourself available, makes you feel like his fuck toy."

Taeil raised an eyebrow. "Is that a good thing?"

"For me it is! I love it when he's dominating with me. Sometimes he presses me against the shower wall and just holds me there. I love it." He paused. "But I love doing anything that makes him feel good."

"I wouldn't have guessed from your personality that you would be submissive."

"Only for him. I would never let anyone else treat me like that."

"Well, that makes sense. He's your boyfriend."

"I think the important part of the book is about bonding. Bonding is really just about getting to know your partner, being in tune with what he wants."

Taeil thought about how Johnny often wanted to suck him off in the mornings but Taeil was reluctant because he thought it would make them late for work. Setting the alarm a bit earlier was another option, but he liked to sleep... He also couldn't imagine them taking a shower together. Their shower was just too small for the both of them to go in at once.

"I feel like I'm not able to give him what he wants," Taeil said softly. "I think he probably likes penetrative sex but it's no good for me. I just find it painful, and I can never get off."

Ten's face had become hard to read. Taeil figured they were speaking openly, but maybe he had said too much. He was always bad at guessing the boundaries. But then Ten smiled again and said, "Read the book anyway. It might give you new ideas. Have you ever tried using toys?"

"Uh, to be honest, not really."

Ten laughed and patted his shoulder. "You're shy, but you'll get used to it. I think you're a good boyfriend, personally. Just the fact that you're really trying to think of ways to make him feel better is a good sign."

Taeil sighed. "I don't know if that makes me a good boyfriend or a desperate boyfriend. Sometimes I don't even know why he wants to be with me."

"Don't talk like that! Knowing Johnny, you must be a very special person. The whole time I've known him, this is the only time I've seen him settle down for someone. He never dated at all when we were at school. I always felt that he was just waiting for the right person."

"Seems weird that the right person would be me!"

"Well you never know." He paused. "Everyone who knew him was 100 per cent sure that he was going to go out with Lee Taeyong, but it never happened."

A cold shiver ran down Taeil's neck. "Lee Taeyong? I knew they were friends, but Johnny never talks about him. What happened?"

Ten shrugged. "I'm not sure. They were almost a couple... but then... Taeyong started going out with Yuta and Johnny disappeared."

"Oh... was Johnny upset about it?"

"That's the thing - no one knows, because as soon as it happened he was gone. It was all very strange. But I don't know if Johnny would have been upset about it exactly, since Yuta was also his best friend, and the three of them used to go out together a lot. Sometimes it almost seemed like a three-way love affair, but... well, I don't know the whole story."

They left the bar and walked around the shopping district for a little while. Ten would occasionally ask to stop so that they could look at something in a shop window. He casually mentioned that his fiancé was going to meet up with him so they could go to a movie if Taeil wanted to join them. Taeil was anxious to get more gossip out of Ten before Doyoung came.

"Johnny always told me the only reason he left was that he disagreed with the way alphas treated omegas."

"Yes, he definitely had a lot of complaints with the alphas. He used to talk about it a lot, but it's just that he disagreed with them for such a long time, it didn't really make sense why he left when he did."

"Maybe it all just piled up."

"Yes maybe. The thing is, there was this college ball coming up and it was a pretty big event for us. Everyone was going, and Johnny even told me he was looking forward to it. But then that night - he just didn't show up. It was weird. After that we found out that he had packed up and he was leaving the college."

"He didn't leave any message?"

"He did, sort of. He sent me a message later explaining how he couldn't resolve his moral conflicts, or something like that. It's just... we had other suspicions. You see, on the night of the ball, Yuta and Taeyong came together as a couple. It was really unexpected, since everyone thought that Johnny and Taeyong were going together."

"Are you saying you think the real reason he left was some kind of lovers conflict he had with Taeyong?"

Ten shrugged. "I don't want to say that. Like I said, they were never really a couple, and maybe Johnny just didn't have feelings for him. I just thought I should... warn you in case you didn't know."

"Warn me? How come?"

Ten bit his lip. They had been standing at the front of a designer clothing store for about five minutes. Ten took one last look at the coat in the window, then stepped back. "Last time Doyoung met up with Johnny they talked about Taeyong. I don't know how much you know about Taeyong's situation right now, but..."

"He broke up with Yuta. It was a trending topic for a few days."

"And..."

"And his reputation is a bit bad now. I know, he's had a lot of harsh comments."

"Doyoung thinks he and Johnny should do something to help him, given they've been close for many years."

"That makes sense to me."

Ten nodded, but he still looked a bit cautious. "The thing is... Doyoung's plan involves Johnny participating in Taeyong's mandatory training."

"What does that mean?"

"It could mean that he pretends to be in, or pretends that he wants to be in, a relationship with him. Doyoung won't approve of me telling you this, but I think you should know." He smiled again, suddenly. "And just so you know, Johnny was totally against the idea. Out of his love for you, I suspect. Taeyong might be an old flame, but I know his heart is set on you!"

Taeil wasn't sure how to feel about this. Of course he knew that Johnny loved him, but it was strange to think he was getting in the way of some alpha and omega business, and a plot that he didn't understand. And to think he was a love rival with Lee Taeyong, one of the most famous beautiful men in the country. It left him feeling cold.

Even when Doyoung came he was still thinking about Johnny and Taeyong, and what their love story could have been.

 

* * *

 

_Five Years Earlier - third year of university_

Ever since he had not been able to read "The Omega's Journal" Johnny became preoccupied with what Ten described as the contents of an omega's heart. Although Ten's aggressive manner towards alphas had dampened since he had started a relationship with Doyoung, flashes of his activist heart still remained. In response to the alpha forum, at which he was not allowed to be a participant, he started the "omega forum", a forum for omegas to discuss their honest concerns and feelings. Johnny was excited by the prospect of attending this forum until Ten informed him that it had to be strictly omegas only.

"You can't expect an omega to be honest when there are alphas present."

Johnny was disappointed, but he realised that it was sensible. He was happy that Ten was still being his old self, because he had secretly feared that being with Doyoung would make him lose his spark. The old arguments he used to have with Doyoung had all but ceased, and whenever they appeared together in public they were always totally in agreement about everything. At least, so they said. Sometimes when Doyoung said something particularly annoying, Ten would pull a face but he never said anything about it outright.

Once Johnny had even ventured to ask Ten why he was no longer a loud mouth rebel at the forum. Ten replied by touching his necklace. "Now that I'm wearing this I am representing Doyoung. I literally have his name on me. I have to behave myself for his sake."

This comment made Johnny feel sad, but he chose not to say anything about it. Perhaps it was selfish to want Ten to remain his old self when he was clearly happy being Doyoung's boyfriend. There was still the omega forum, so that was something.

Doyoung wasn't a big fan of the omega forum idea.

"Isn't that hypocritical?" Johnny asked.

"No, because omegas are allowed to come to the alpha forum and hear everything we say. If we're excluded from the omega forum, I'm worried about what they are saying about us!"

Johnny smirked. "You think Ten is gossiping about you?"

Doyoung blushed. "Well..."

"Surely they don't need a whole forum for that. Ten probably gossips about you in the cafés with his friends all the time."

When they asked Ten what the forum talked about, he replied with a sly smile. "Ah, you know. Just stupid omega stuff." He punched Doyoung in the arm teasingly.

"Does Taeyong ever go?" Johnny asked.

"Taeyong?" Ten laughed. "He would never come to anything like this."

Johnny was surprised by this reply. "Why not?"

"He barely ever hangs out with other omegas, I can't imagine he'd want to go to a forum with a bunch of them. He's one of those omegas who sees himself above other omegas."

"That's not fair! Taeyong's not a snob."

Ten shrugged. "I know he's your friend, but... he really doesn't have any omega friends. He's very cold to everyone at the college."

Johnny tried not to get too mad at Ten for thinking Taeyong was a snob - because the description of cold behaviour seemed accurate to him, but unlike Ten, Johnny did not equate it with snobbery. He knew that Taeyong was slow to warm up to people, and if anything, Johnny felt even more sympathetic to him.

 

* * *

 

After a few months the omega forum was cancelled. Ten didn't say much about it. "It wasn't much of a success," he admitted. "The only people who came were my friends and we only talked about the stuff we would normally talk about, so it doesn't really matter."

Johnny could still detect a hint of sadness in his manner as he talked about it, but he didn't press the issue. It was a while later, whilst talking with a few of his alpha classmates that he discovered that the college had in fact shut the forum down. "They decided it was against policy," his classmate explained, "because it was exclusive to omegas."

"So they suspected the omegas were plotting revolution?"

The classmate gave him a funny look. "What makes you say that?"

 

* * *

 

Sometime during that semester Taeyong went to Seoul for another dance competition, but he kept the details secret. Johnny felt a little betrayed when he found out after the fact. "You should have told me beforehand. I would have liked to go and watch you."

Taeyong shrugged it off, but then said: "How about this? I'll do a private dance, just for you."

He often made non-committal promises like this, so Johnny wanted to hold him to it. "Sure, how about now?"

To his surprise, Taeyong seemed happy to comply. "Where should we go?"

"Maybe behind the oval? That's usually quiet."

It was late afternoon. They took their satchel bags and placed them under a wiry ginkgo tree. Johnny took a seat on the grass, and Taeyong bashfully started stretching his legs. "Is this part of the performance?" Johnny asked, teasingly.

"No, it's a warm up." He stood up straight suddenly, as if he had just seen something shocking. Johnny turned around. Yuta was coming towards them, waving at them with his bag hanging off one shoulder.

"What are you guys doing?" he asked.

"Just hanging out. Taeyong was about to show me his dance routine."

"Ooh, show me too!"

Taeyong looked embarrassed, but he seemed pleased too. Yuta sat down next to Johnny with his legs crossed and looked up smiling. "This doesn't feel sexy any more," Johnny said.

"Huh, why isn't it sexy?" Yuta asked.

"Because you're here! He was going to dance just for me."

"If anything, I'd say it's even sexier now that I'm here." Yuta playfully grabbed at Taeyong with both hands, pulling him down onto the ground and wrestled him into the grass. Taeyong laughed like he was having a fit. Yuta was tickled him and he quickly kissed his ear before pulling back.

Taeyong sat up and picked the pieces of grass and leaves off his track pants. Yuta helped him a bit.

"Sorry about that, I didn't mean to pull you down."

"Sure you did."

"Okay, I killed the sexy moment, I'm sorry."

Johnny had been watching the whole scene silently, with an amused smile on his face. Beneath it, his heart was beating fiercely. What would have happened if Yuta had not appeared? Would he have finally taken the plunge and kissed Taeyong? The fact that Yuta could touch and play with him so easily was immensely frustrating.

Taeyong did eventually stand up and dance for them. He went through his actual choreography - which was indeed quite sexy - but the mood was humorous as Yuta would consistently reach out to slap him as he dance, and at one point got up to dance with him. Johnny laughed too, but then he pulled Yuta back with a strength that surprised himself.

 

* * *

 

When Johnny had his first kiss with Taeyong, Yuta was in the room with them.

They had all gone out one night with Ten and Doyoung but the latter two had left early. They went to a noraebang, and sang and danced together innocently for some time, until at one point Johnny chose to sing a romantic serenade. He sort of sang it to both of them, but when the song was over he leaned in to kiss Taeyong. He was excited and having fun, but as soon as he felt Taeyong's tongue push back into his lips, a powerful sense of desire overcame him. When they broke away, Yuta took Taeyong's chin in his hand and kissed him too. Watching Yuta kiss Taeyong felt just as erotic, if not more.

Before he knew it, Johnny had then leaned in to kiss Taeyong again, and then they were both holding him and kissing his neck and face. Taeyong's hand clutched Johnny's shirt with so much force that his knuckles turned white. Johnny stroked that hand and he relaxed his grip, but he still tried to pull Johnny closer, grabbing at him desperately. Johnny was almost bursting out of his tight pants, he'd never been this turned on before in his life. He could even feel a wet patch forming, but in the heat of the moment, he ignored it.

They had to leave not long after because their time in the room had run out. Johnny was still horny, but he was glad that nothing had happened. It was hard to believe they had almost had a threesome in a noraebang and that was the first time he had even kissed Taeyong.

As soon as he got back to the dorm, he took his pants off and beat himself off in the bathroom. He came quickly, then pressed his head against the wall as he caught his breath. When he looked up, Yuta was watching him, but Yuta had seen him with his dick in his hand so many times it didn't bother him.

"Are you okay?" Yuta asked. "You look stressed."

"What the hell were we doing?"

"You mean kissing Taeyong? I think he was in heat, don't be so hard on yourself."

"In heat?!"

"Yeah, that's why you felt like you couldn't control yourself around him. His pull was so strong."

"Shit, that just makes it seem like we were taking advantage of him." Johnny let his head fall against the tile wall again.

"Why? Heats are frustrating for them and they feel better when they have an alpha with them. The scent calms them down and the touch makes them feel relieved. If you paid attention in Dr Shin's course..."

"Yeah, I know all that. But I don't know... it feels exploitative."

"All we did was kiss him."

"I guess."

Johnny got ready for bed, but he still felt wound up. Just the brush of his pajama pants made his cock twitch, and he groaned as he climbed into bed. He fell into a light sleep and he dreamed about Taeyong.

He and Taeyong were alone together, and they were walking to the oval. Taeyong was a few steps ahead of him, and Johnny was focused on his thin body as he walked with his bag over his shoulder. Johnny thought that he seemed unusually small, or maybe the bag was unusually large. They kept walking until they were at a hill, and then Johnny realised that they were at the hill by the soccer oval at the old house, where Yuta used to play. But at this time the field was empty, it was only the two of them.

Taeyong seemed to struggle with the bag, and Johnny went to help him carry it. He was surprised to find that it was so heavy. He threw it to the side and it rolled down the hill. Taeyong watched it with alarm, and was about to reach out, but Johnny held him back. He held Taeyong against his body, and Taeyong struggled against him. The friction stimulated his arousal and his cock was pushing into Taeyong's back. When Taeyong turned and put a hand against Johnny's chest, he realised that he was naked. He pulled at Taeyong's clothes, and Taeyong continued to cry and beg him to stop but Johnny kept pushing.

He woke up suddenly, and sat up in his bed. He checked the small alarm clock and saw that he had barely slept an hour. He felt a throb and realised that he was fully erect, and his hand was wrapped around his leaking dick. He took his hand away, and wiped it on his sheet.

"What the fuck..." he mumbled out loud. He looked across the room and saw that Yuta was fast asleep. He lay down again, staring straight up at the ceiling. He tried to think about anything, the test he had coming up, the assignment due in three weeks, the upcoming campus play. Anything to make him forget he'd had an erotic dream about hurting his friend.

_I'd never hurt him, I'd never hurt him,_ he thought pathetically to himself, but he wasn't sure if he could believe it.


	9. A Dangerous Edge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taeil gets caught reading the manual. Johnny remembers the events leading up to him leaving the college.

Taeil took the manual Ten had given him, but he was careful to read it in secret, when Johnny was not around. He even snuck it to work, and when the library became quiet he slipped it open between the pages of another book. The manual was riveting to him - indeed it seemed like a sort of BDSM manual, and that's what he would have taken it for if he didn't know better. Some of the rituals were more amusing to him than anything, although in some parts he could see why Johnny found it problematic.

He had become so engrossed in the book that he took it to bed with him one night, and read it under his bedside lamp. He had been careless and this time Johnny saw it when he climbed into bed.

"Taeil! Are you reading..."

He thought he might as well be honest about it. "Ten gave it to me. I met up with him on the weekend, when you went to see Yuta."

"But why are you reading it?"

"Because he said it might be helpful for me..." Taeil looked away with embarrassment. "He thought it might help me to understand your body better."

"I don't think this book will help you understand me. If anything, it will only make you understand why they make me so angry."

Taeil smiled. "I know, I can see that. But... some of it I think applies to you. See this bit here-" He flicked to the beginning of the book. "It says in courting an omega, an alpha should refrain from having sex with him for the duration of two heat cycles after the initiation of the relationship - to make the omega desire him more and test his devotion. When we first started dating you didn't touch me for two months."

"Huh... that's not, I mean, I didn't mean to follow that. Besides heat cycles are not necessarily monthly, and you don't even have them."

Taeil shrugged his shoulder awkwardly. "What's a heat cycle?"

"It's a few days every now and then when an omega becomes crazy horny, that's it."

"That's it? Do you alphas get them?"

"No, alphas are always horny... but if you're with an omega and he goes into heat, it makes you kind of crazy too. Not that I would know, I've never dated an omega."

Taeil pursed his lips. He was tempted to ask him about his relationship with Lee Taeyong, and what had really happened between them, but he just couldn't find the nerve.

"Honestly, some of this stuff just looks kinky to me," he said. "I've just been reading this bit about scent marking."

"Oh my god." Johnny tried to pull the book away and Taeil laughed.

"What's the matter with it? It talks about peeing on someone, that's just kinky right?"

"No, because for us it's scent marking."

Taeil sighed and closed the book. He placed it on the bedside table. "I'm sorry if you were annoyed at me for reading this behind your back, but I'm just so curious. I want to know more about this, because these people are a part of your life."

Johnny shook his head. "I don't think I'm going to go back to them any time soon."

"But you met with Yuta recently?"

"And he told me he'd officially ended our friendship!"

"And you met with Doyoung?"

"And he annoyed the hell out of me by trying to drag me into his Alpha Council schemes."

"But you still like Ten?"

Johnny sighed. "I still like Ten. But he's not the same person I used to know. I guess I'll message him now and then."

Taeil was tempted to say, and what about Lee Taeyong? but he just couldn't bring himself to say it.

 

* * *

 

_Four years earlier - the last year of college_

Johnny had been a star student at the law college. It was a trait of alphas that they were able to absorb information with greater efficiency - hence the large variety of skills they were made to perfect as teenagers. Law was a popular degree for alphas, since the task of memorising a large number of cases and laws was relatively easy for them, and most alphas aspired towards a career in law or politics. Even Yuta, who spent more time playing soccer than studying, got decent grades in his law subjects.

Johnny still enjoyed the long hours he spent in the library. Once he had finished his studying, he would pick up books about other subjects - philosophy, music, art. While browsing the shelves, he would peek between the books to see if anyone was behind them, since many students used the quiet areas of the library to play games and catch up on sleep. He usually spotted Taeyong sitting in the same place most days, his head buried in some book - usually a novel. Johnny would then sneak up on him, sliding up against his side, and Taeyong would look up with a smile.

This library was on the main campus, and most students were betas, so nobody around them saw anything scandalous in their sitting up close with each other. If they were on the college, people would gossip whenever an unclaimed omega was getting cuddly with an alpha, but in the library they had some privacy.

"Hey, are you going to the ball this year?" Taeyong asked.

"Yeah, maybe." Johnny had been talking about it Yuta a few days ago. Yuta complained that the ball would be boring, not a real party since everyone had to be on 'best behaviour.' He declared that he probably wouldn't go because he didn't want to miss out on soccer practice. Word was about that Yuta had been in talks to debut in the major leagues. Johnny was a little disappointed. He thought the party wouldn't be as fun with Yuta there. He was still tossing up whether he would go, but when Taeyong asked him in that sweet, small voice he felt like he really wanted to say yes.

"But do you have a date?" Taeyong said. "You need an omega to go with you."

"Hmm... but I don't know any omegas," Johnny joked. "I would literally have no idea who to ask." He poked Taeyong's arm, running his finger down to his wrist, then tapped his palm. Taeyong closed his hand around Johnny's fingers. They slipped into a hand-hold and Taeyong looked up blushing.

"Well, I could ask around at the college if anyone wanted to go with you. The omegas are always talking about you. So many of them would love to be your date, let me tell you."

"Would Lee Taeyong love to be my date?" He lifted Taeyong's hand and pressed it against his lips.

Taeyong laughed. "I don't know, but I think he would..."

Johnny felt the urge to pull Taeyong into him, but he fought it with all his self control. He was always teetering on a dangerous edge.

 

* * *

 

Towards the end of his time at the college, Johnny had started to contribute to the panel of the alpha forum. Since the omegas were not allowed their own forum, and they were banned from speaking at the alpha forum, Johnny decided that he had to take it upon himself to represent them. But this did not go down very well. He started by raising questions about why omegas were expected to wear a necklace to show devotion to their alpha, but the alphas had no equivalent. The panel answered briefly about what some tokens of affection could be - a wedding ring perhaps? and then quickly went to the next discussion point. Johnny went in harder the next time, asking why it was that alphas were encouraged to gain sexual experience, but omegas were encouraged to stay virgins until they had been claimed. The panel collectively ignored this one. A few people in the audience looked away with embarrassment as though Johnny had made some foolish social faux pas.

After the forum he felt drained and despairing. "Why wouldn't they talk about this stuff?" he asked Doyoung when they were alone at the dorm.

Doyoung also seemed embarrassed on his behalf. "There are some things that need to be discussed at the forum, and some things that shouldn't be."

"But why not? Surely everything should be discussed."

Doyoung bit his lip. "The problem with you Johnny is that you are too American. You have a libertine view that people can do or say what they want without propriety."

Johnny groaned out loud. "That's the worst thing I've ever heard you say. And you say a lot of dumb stuff."

Doyoung didn't seem offended. He'd been reading a lot lately and had learned a lot of new words. Johnny was so furious at him they didn't speak for a week. His comment did however put a new idea into Johnny's head. He had been so lonely in his point of view and desperate to find someone who agreed with him, he thought he could look into what alphas and omegas in other countries said about these things. If the Americans were such free speech loving libertines, they would surely have discussed these matters amongst themselves.

Once again Johnny's search was fruitless. The alpha community in the states was far smaller than in Asia and they kept to themselves in a pseudo cult-like fashion. But Johnny didn't give up: he began to look for opinions from the outside world, the people they called the "betas".

Betas in Korea seemed to have only a marginal interest in alphas and omegas. They were impressed by alpha's superior strength and learning ability, happy to have them as famous sportsmen or leaders. They were likewise impressed with the omega's feminine beauty and they became part of the "flower boy" craze. 

After a long search on the university database, Johnny finally found something interesting: an essay on the moral implications of alpha and omegas, written by a professor in feminist studies. The core of the author's argument was that using biology to justify inequality was problematic and that it undermined the work of the feminist movement. Furthermore even if alphas been genetically programmed to be "superior" the very definition of superior was arbitrary and culturally dependent. Even though he had already held these views, hearing someone else put it into words was greatly satisfying.

Johnny was hungry for a follow up, but there were only a few more articles relating to the topic that repeated the same points. The articles all spoke about how normal people should be sceptical and reject the alpha's claims of inherent superiority, but they did not discuss what a person who was an actual alpha could do about the problem. He finally decided that he would contact the professor. He wrote an email asking for an interview, and she allowed him half an hour in a few weeks. Her office was in Seoul, so Johnny had to get permission to travel and miss class - he used Yuta as an excuse, arguing that he had to accompany him to an appointment with a specialist physio.

Yuta was compliant with the plan, mostly because he enjoyed the idea of a short trip to Seoul. Johnny made him read the essay too, but his reaction to it wasn't as strong. "It's all true, of course," he said, as though he had already known it and the essay was therefore unnecessary. "I don't understand why you need to meet the professor though."

"Because knowing all this stuff just makes me angry. I need to know what to DO about it."

Yuta gave him a half-smile. "But you already know what to do. Don't treat omegas like dogs."

"That's not enough. It won't help all omegas, only the one I'm with."

"Ah, so you want to save all omegas..." Yuta still smiled at him, teasingly.

Johnny was frustrated that he couldn't get Yuta totally on board, but at least he was being better than Doyoung. When they arrived in Seoul, he went to run around in the parks while Johnny visited the professor.

The professor was a smallish woman with shoulder length hair and round glasses. She had a confident and assertive way of speaking and Johnny became shy as soon as he asked him to take a seat.

"It's interesting that you came to see me," she said. "I've never been contacted by an alpha before. I suppose my publication had too small a distribution to be considered a threat to them."

"I came because I wanted to tell you I agree with what you said."

"I know, that's why I find it interesting. To tell you the truth, it was an omega who originally came to meet me."

"Really? what did he say?"

"He explained a bit of his life to me. I find most ordinary people are not really exposed to omegas and alphas, or at least not without the lens of pop culture. He was very honest with me, and in fact he'd even written a book about his experiences."

"The Omega's Journal?"

"Yes, that's the one."

"What was his name?"

The professor paused to wipe her glasses. She seemed as though she was trying to remember the name, but she answered: "He didn't tell me his name. He wanted to remain anonymous."

"The book was blacklisted. We're not allowed to read it."

"I think that's a pity. There would be more sympathy to omegas if more people understood them on a personal level. At the moment they may be popular in media, but people do not have the ability to empathise with them. They are seen as too different. Sexually deviant, also."

"What can I do about it? As an alpha."

"You've asked me a difficult question. Perhaps, as an alpha, you would be better positioned to answer."

"But I don't know if I am. I feel as though I am too controlled by my instincts."

"In that case your answer is that you need to fight your instincts. The best decision for you, from a moral standpoint, would be relinquish the privileges that were bestowed on you due to your biology. Live as a normal person."

 

* * *

 

Johnny met up with Yuta in the park after he had spoken to the professor. Yuta seemed to be in a good mood. He was stretching his legs beside a tree when Johnny found him and he smiled brightly as he looked up.

"How did it go?"

"Well, I talked to the professor and..."

"And now you know the secret to how to save all omegas?"

Johnny shrugged. "I don't think I'll be able to save all omegas."

Yuta stopped smiling when he realised that Johnny was serious. They took a seat together with a view of the river.

Johnny continued: "I'm starting to wonder if I should be trying to save myself."

"What do you mean?"

He gave Yuta a quick side glance, and saw that Yuta was now watching him with interest. "I'm starting to think that I don't want to be an alpha. That the alphas are the problem, and I don't want to be a problem..."

"No one thinks you're a problem, Johnny."

"That doesn't mean I'm not, or..." He paused and took a breath. "Or that I could become one." Johnny remembered his recurring dream of forcing himself on Taeyong, but he couldn't mention that to Yuta. It was too shameful, he could hardly resolve it with himself. "Sometimes I worry that my instincts could get the best of me."

"Don't you also have an instinct to be good? You follow that instinct too." Yuta yawned and stretched his legs. "Honestly, Johnny. I don't think you really needed some professor to tell you anything. You already know what's right and wrong, and if you follow that you will be fine."

Johnny nodded. He realised that Yuta was totally right, and he had only come to hear someone say what he had already thought. The truth weighed on him so heavily it almost crushed his chest.

The sun was setting in front of them, and Yuta became cheerful again. He pulled Johnny up by the hand. "Come on, we'll be late for the train."

Johnny took the window seat on the train, and Yuta sat down beside him. He looked out the window as the trained moved, and felt Yuta's hand on his wrist.

"Johnny," he whispered urgently.

"What?"

"I'm thinking of dropping out."

"What?"

"I said I'm thinking of dropping out. Of university."

"Yuta, why? You're almost finished."

Yuta shrugged and stretched his fingers. "I've been offered a contract to play for the major league. I think I should just take it."

"Why can't you study and play at the same time?"

"This is pro soccer, it's a full time job. I can't just play on the weekends, it's a big commitment."

"Are you sure you want to leave?"

"I'm sure. I mean, what are we really doing here? Any alpha can get a job in a law firm, we're all a shoe-in just from being alphas. Same goes for soccer, I guess. But it's the thing I really want to do..."

They both went silent, but Johnny's mind was racing. He turned back to the window with the idea that Yuta had just put in his head. It never occurred to him that they could just leave the college.

"I'd miss you, of course," Yuta said. "But we can still hang out."

"Of course."

 

* * *

 

When they got back to the dorm it was late. Johnny stumbled into his bed through the dark, and he felt Yuta's hand on his back. Yuta crept into the bed beside him.

He snaked his hands around Johnny's waist and leaned in to suck below his ear. Johnny's mind was far away from his body, and he didn't really feel in the mood for Yuta's play, but his body was turned on easily by the touches. Yuta's hand soon found its way into Johnny's pants, and Johnny could feel Yuta's hardness on his back. Surrendering to the sensations, he turned around and felt for Yuta's lips with his own.

Yuta was being especially aggressive this time, and he pushed his tongue forcefully into Johnny's mouth. Taken aback, Johnny fell down onto the pillow, as Yuta pushed him down harder. He pulled Johnny's shorts down roughly, and at that point Johnny shoved him back.

"Hey, why are you being like this?"

Yuta crawled closer again and kissed Johnny's neck, making him squirm. "Let me fuck you," he mumbled into his ear.

"Yuta... what the fuck?" Johnny shoved him away again. He suddenly felt extremely exposed, and he pulled the sheet up to his waist, as he searched for where Yuta had chucked his shorts.

"What's wrong, Johnny? You don't want me?"

"Not like that."

"What do you mean? We have sex all the time."

"Not like _that_."

"Oh, I see." Yuta sat in the middle of Johnny's bed and stared at him accusingly. "You don't want to be an alpha, but you won't be fucked like an omega."

"No. No, I won't."

"You want an omega like the rest of them. I don't know why you think you're special. You don't want to save all omegas. All you want is to fuck an omega and not feel guilty about it."

Johnny felt suddenly sick with fury. "What the _fuck_ is wrong with you tonight?" He pulled his shorts up and grabbed his pillow. "I'm gonna sleep in Doyoung's room."

Yuta jumped off the bed. "No, I will." He went to pick up his own pillow. "I'm sorry I got the wrong message."

"Yeah, you sure did."

Johnny was so angry, that he couldn't sleep. He tossed and turned and finally gave up on trying to sleep. He took out his phone and plugged his music in, but nothing could distract him from the turmoil he felt. He felt furious at Yuta, but what had Yuta really done but expose the truth? He was feeling violated, and yet he couldn't be totally sure that if he was given the chance, he wouldn't violate Taeyong the same way.

In the morning he received a text from Yuta. "Sorry I was being an idiot last night. Please forget everything I said, I was just being emotional." Johnny put the phone away and tried not to look at it. A few hours later he checked it again. Yuta had sent him more messages. "Please don't me mad at me. Johnny, reply to me..." He sighed and turned the phone off.

In an attempt to avoid Yuta he went to the library to work on his assignment. When he got up to find a book on the shelves, he spotted Taeyong in his usual spot, his head buried in a book. He had his head down, and he was a couple of shelves away, so he didn't notice Johnny. Johnny quickly went back to his table, collected his books and left the library. He didn't know where he wanted to go, but he walked as far as he could.

 

* * *

 

_Present Day_

Two weeks after receiving the manual, Taeil received a message telling him that he his enrolment in a hagwon for programming had been accepted. He had applied for it optimistically a month ago, feeling a little bored at work and thinking back to how he had always enjoyed maths and problem solving. Johnny had brought up the suggestion of a career change a few times but Taeil never felt confident enough to follow through. He applied for this position on a whim, but now that he had received acceptance he suddenly realised that a new career could really be on the cards for him.

At the dinner table one night he imagined himself as a famous programmer, earning a big salary, and he fantasised about moving to a better apartment, and wearing Johnny on his arm like a trophy boyfriend. He laughed to himself and Johnny gave him a confused smile.

"What are you thinking about?"

"I was just about to tell you... I applied for a coding course and I've been accepted. The course takes place on week nights starting in a fortnight's time."

"Wow, congrats. You're really going to become a programmer?"

"Well, I'm going to try. I hope it's not too late for me to learn..." He paused for a second. "But you know, going to this course will mean that I won't get to spend many dinners with you like this. I'll probably finish too late."

Johnny shrugged. "We've been snowed under by work at the firm, so we'll probably finish around the same time anyway. Don't stop your dream for my sake."

Taeil smiled, but he felt like telling Johnny that he would do so many things just for his sake. He often wondered if Johnny really understood the breadth and depth of his love.

"What about you?" he said, after a moment of silence. "Will you ever go back to study again? Take the bar exam?"

Johnny sighed loudly, but then he smiled. "You're probably right. I'll get myself sorted eventually."

 

* * *

 

Johnny had been telling the truth about work piling up at the firm. Even before his course started, Taeil found himself spending evenings alone. Since he knew Johnny was working, he stayed out late, going to the shops and the arcade, since he didn't particularly enjoy sitting in the apartment all by himself. When he returned, it was dark outside and the light in the hallway of their building had been faulty, so the walkway was dark. As he approached their door he thought he saw something. He walked slower, and felt his pocket for his phone, to call Johnny just in case.

When he approached the front door he saw that there was a person there. It was too small to be Johnny, but Taeil couldn't think of who it could be. The person was sitting right beside the door, huddled on the ground with their legs pulled up to their chin. As his vision became clearer, Taeil thought it seemed as though this person might have been crying.

"Hello?" Taeil called, his voice a little unstable from fear. "Who's there?"

The person lifted his head from his knees and looked up at Taeil. His expression was frightened, and he stood up quickly, backing away as Taeil came closer.

"It's okay, I'm not going to hurt you. I just live here. This is my house." Taeil didn't know why he was talking to him like this. He should have asked - who are you? but when he looked closer, he realised he didn't need to ask. He had seen this person's face many times, on magazines and billboards and news sites. It was Lee Taeyong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are a bit hectic for me atm, so I am going to take a break from this fic for a few weeks (hopefully not longer than a month). I have plotted the fic to the end, but I need to catch up on drafting. I expect it would be about 20 chapters, give or take. Thanks to everyone who has been following the story so far! There is much more drama and revelation to come, so please look forward to the continuation...


	10. Taeil's Ball Problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taeil's first meeting with Taeyong.

Taeil dropped his shopping bag with a thud as he faced his visitor.

Taeyong looked frightened. "I came here to see Johnny Seo. Does he live here?"

"Right. Um, yeah, he lives with me." Taeil awkwardly began to unlock the front door, his hand shaking slightly as he held the key. "He's still at at work, but you might as well come inside? My name is Mun Taeil." Taeil tried to sound casual, but his mind was racing. Although he knew all about how Lee Taeyong was Johnny's old friend, he still couldn't come to grips with the fact he was meeting a _real celebrity_. It was true that he had personally preferred the visuals of Cha Eunwoo, but Taeyong was a close second, and now it seemed unreal that he was actually here in front of him.

Taeil regretted that he was just wearing an old shirt and his work jacket was slightly ill fitting. He didn't usually care about his clothes, but he didn't usually meet celebrities.

He turned the light on in the kitchen and Taeyong cautiously followed.

"I promise I'm not a crazy person," Taeil joked, and then immediately cringed at his own clumsiness. "Look, Johnny really does live here." He picked up a photo stuck to the fridge, a photo of him and Johnny at a ski resort around the time they had started dating. He passed it to Taeyong and Taeyong nodded.

"I know," he said. "It smells like him in here."

"Oh right. I forgot you can tell those things."

Taeyong took a seat at the kitchen table, and Taeil quickly rubbed his hands on his trousers. They had suddenly become clammy with sweat. "Would you like something to eat? to drink?"

"Can I have some water?"

"Of course." Taeil filled a glass for him. He finally decided he would cut some fruit for himself to share with him, seeing as he thought Taeyong might have declined food out of politeness. He found some pears, and as he was cutting them he saw that Taeyong was reading one of the papers he had left on the kitchen table. "Ah, sorry for my mess..."

Taeyong looked up with some embarrassment. "Is it meant to be a puzzle?" he asked.

"Yeah, sort of. I'm starting this course in programming and those are some logic exercises." He joined Taeyong at the table with the plate of cut pears.

"Can you explain it?"

"Sure." He picked up the paper Taeyong passed him, and as he looked at it, Taeyong started eating the pears. Taeil cast an eye over him and noticed that he did in fact look very hungry. "Have as much as you want," he said casually. "I have more in the fruitbowl." He cleared his throat. "The puzzle is basically a question of efficiency. It says you have 10 bags containing 10 balls each, and they all weigh 1 gram, with the exception of one bag, where all the balls are lighter, 0.8 grams. The question is how to determine which bag is the light one, but you are only allowed to use the scales once." Taeil liked this problem and he talked about it with his usual enthusiasm, until he suddenly remembered that he was talking to a famous model, and even normal people found his obsession with logic puzzles to be awkward. He slowly put the paper down, and Taeyong stared at it with a frown on his face. "But I mean, it's not that interesting. I just like these puzzles."

Taeyong was still frowning. "Can I have a pen?" he asked at last.

"Huh? Oh right, sure." He went to one of the draws and found a pen and notepad and passed it back to him. Taeyong started drawing on it, and Taeil smiled when he realised Taeyong was trying to solve the problem. He sat back and watched him.

After a minute, Taeyong looked up and blushed. "I'm being rude, I'm sorry."

"It's okay. You like puzzles?"

"Yeah..." Taeyong looked away. "And I'm not great at talking. I mean, I get a bit shy."

Taeil laughed with relief. "Trust me, I know exactly how you feel."

There was a lull of silence, but it wasn't awkward. Taeil sat back and watched Taeyong with some admiration. Like Ten, he had a certain grace about him that seemed characteristic of omegas. He said, "You're more handsome in real life than in pictures."

"Oh... um, thanks."

"I followed your career a bit actually, and I enjoyed watching you on tv with Yuta... ah, I mean... sorry."

"That's okay." Taeyong seemed a bit tense now, and Taeil felt stupid for stuffing things up when he had done well up to then.

At last he cleared his throat and said, "You can take the balls out of the bags."

"Huh?"

"The problem. You are allowed to take balls out of the bags. It might help you."

"Oh okay." He went back to scribbling in the notebook.

 

* * *

 

Johnny was exhausted as he walked home that night. His office had been a total nightmare - they were juggling many clients and the hours in the day just weren't enough for him to achieve anything. His firm mainly dealt with property law, which was mind numbingly boring and just to stay awake was a struggle. Winter had swept in with brutal force and as the icy wind blew around his face, Johnny thought longingly of cuddling up with Taeil in bed. He was so tired he fancied just taking a shower and going straight to sleep, preferrably with Taeil in his arms.

These thoughts warmed him up as he walked through the subway exit, but as he approached the apartment he began to feel something was not right. There was a certain scent in the air, something he could only just detect, but it suggested something dangerous was about to take place. He increased his walking speed.

He pushed open the front door slowly. "Taeil, are you home? I'm sorry I'm so late. My god, I'm so tired." He looked up and froze. Before him was the unexpected sight of Taeil and Taeyong seated across from each other on the kitchen table.

Taeyong jumped up immediately. Taeil looked anxiously between the two of them.

"Johnny," Taeyong said with his eyes lowered. "I had to see you."

Johnny was stunned. He just stood there staring at Taeyong - handsome, small, beautiful Taeyong. He was older than when Johnny had last seen him, but the three years had given him a new sense of maturity and sexiness.

Taeil cleared his throat. "You know I just realised I haven't given Shiro his dinner. In fact, I don't think I've even seen Shiro since I got home. That's our cat, by the way." He gestured to Taeyong awkwardly. "He's probably in the bedroom, but I better go check."

Taeil left the kitchen and closed the door behind him. Knowing Taeil, Johnny could tell this was his clumsy way of finding an excuse to leave them alone to talk. He felt a sudden surge of gratitude to his sweet boyfriend.

"I heard you were in detention," he said to Taeyong.

"I was, but I was let out two days ago. I asked Doyoung for the address of your place. I have to do an omega training course, but I guess you already know about that. I was told you've been selected as my trainer." He looked up at Johnny. "I was... surprised by that."

"It was Doyoung that nominated me."

"But you agreed to it?"

Johnny felt flushed. He technically hadn't agreed to it, and he also hadn't been told yet that he had actually been selected as the trainer. "He told me you were in a bad situation and that I could help."

"My situation is that I'm not fit to belong to an alpha, and I need to be trained. But I didn't expect it to be by you of all people. How is that going to help me?"

Now Johnny was feeling fired up again. "You don't need to be trained, and you don't need to be fit for an alpha. I've spoken to Yuta, he has a load of his own problems and none of this is your fault. I don't want to see you getting take advantage of by some old sleazebag because Yuta fucked up. That's why I decided to step in, okay?"

Taeyong glanced over at the door. "Is Taeil your boyfriend?" he asked softly.

"Yes, he's my boyfriend."

"He seems nice."

"He is really nice."

Taeyong shook his head. "I really don't understand this, Johnny. You were gone for three years, and now suddenly you're here again."

"You think I'm coming back to take advantage of you? Win you back because Yuta left?"

Taeyong rolled his eyes. "I definitely wouldn't presume that..."

Johnny sighed. "Okay, I can see why you would be suspicious. I want to help, because I still consider you my friend. Even if... you don't think of me that way any more."

Taeyong turned away again, but this time it was to hide the fact he was crying. Johnny felt a pang of guilt hit his chest. Taeyong sobbed. "Johnny, I really fucked this up..."

It was impossible to just stand there and watch him. Johnny stepped up and put a hand on his shoulder. "Shh, don't talk like that. You had a break up, it happens to everyone."

"I made him leave me! And now when I go home I can still smell him, and my body still associates his scent with sex, so I go crazy from it, but I can't even touch myself. It's physically painful."

"Wait, why?"

"The council gave me six months of celibacy as a punishment. They put a chastity device on me, so I can't even touch myself during heats."

"What the fuck, that's medieval." Johnny had the overwhelming desire to storm into the council head quarters and give them a piece of his mind. Perhaps it wasn't such a bad thing he had been selected as Taeyong's trainer. An omega could do with a sympathetic person amongst these sadists.

Johnny wanted to reach out and touch Taeyong again. He had to admit, Taeyong smelled amazing - it was the heady and wonderful scent of an omega that was no longer claimed. Johnny had almost forgotten what it was like.

Just at that moment Taeil came into the kitchen, holding the cat. Johnny suspected that he might have been waiting behind the door for an opportune moment to re enter and he probably heard everything they said. The walls of the apartment were so thin.

"Shiro was sleeping under our bed," he said as he put the kitten down on the floor. "Taeyong, do you have a way of getting home? If it's too late, you are welcome to stay the night."

Johnny was about to interject, but Taeyong answered, "Thank you. I would like that."

"But keep in mind, we only have the couch."

"It's a bit small..." Johnny said.

"But Taeyong's quite small," Taeil said, looking him up and down. Taeyong was in fact a couple of inches taller than him, but Taeil was also a small person by Johnny's standards. "If that's not good I have a yoga mat we can roll out on the rug. If I add a quilt it should be quite comfy."

Johnny sighed. "Thanks Taeil."

"Thank you," Taeyong repeated. "I'm sorry for being annoying."

Taeil smiled. "It's not at all. We're friends, aren't we? I'll get that stuff for you now."

 

* * *

 

When they had finished cleaning up, and they were alone in their room, Johnny tried to get Taeil's attention. Taeil was busy getting ready for bed, and as he climbed into the bed, Johnny took both his hands and sat up beside him.

"Why did you ask him to stay?"

"I overheard him saying that going home was painful..."

"We're you listening in on us?"

"I could hear some things from the other room. Why, was there something I shouldn't hear?"

Johnny shook his head. "No, you should hear everything. I'm just wondering - did you think I wanted him to stay?" He spoke softly because he knew that Taeyong was now in the next room.

"I don't know. But I guess... I want him to stay. He's a person from your life, and I want to get to know him too. Is that okay?"

"Of course."

Taeil turned off his lamp. Johnny climbed into bed, but he left his own lamp on. He couldn't go to sleep like this. He slipped his hand around his lover's side.

"Did Ten tell you about me and him?"

He could feel Taeil tense up under his hand. "He told me that you and Taeyong were close."

"We've known each other since we were 15, and we were close friends. But you know I never dated him, or slept with him right?"

"But you had feelings for him. Ten told me you did."

Johnny sighed. The last thing he wanted was for Taeil to feel threatened, but he couldn't lie to him. "I might have had some feelings for him in the past. It was hard not to, our hormones were hard wired to desire each other and he was the most beautiful omega we knew. And at one point... I almost went out with him, but then I didn't. I chose to leave instead."

"Did you leave because of him?"

"I left because I didn't want to be the sort of alpha that claims an omega. I just didn't want to be an alpha at all, really."

"But if you stayed you would have claimed him?"

Johnny lay silently for a few moments, staring at the shadows the lamp projected onto the low ceiling. "I didn't stay, so there's no point asking that question."

After another moment, Taeil turned his body and curled into Johnny's side. "You know, I'm not trying to interrogate you... I'm just curious."

Taeil felt warm and comforting by his side. Johnny shifted on the bed, so he could pull him in closer. "I know. I love you."

 

* * *

 

The next day Taeil went straight home after work. He knew Johnny wouldn't be there for a few more hours, but he was curious what had become of Taeyong. When he had greeted him that morning, Taeyong had acted very shy and embarrassed and barely said anything. Taeil told him, "You're welcome to stay as long as you like. Please, don't feel pressured."

He opened the door, and poked his head through cautiously. "Hello?" he said, and had no reply. He stepped into the kitchen and was surprised by what he saw - the dishes had been cleaned, the counter had been wiped and there was a pot on the stove. The room had the lovely smell of lemon scented soap and freshly cooked food. He walked into the living room and saw Taeyong on the couch, Shiro curled up in his lap. He was stroking the kitten's head peacefully, but he looked a bit startled when Taeil came in. He started to stand up, but Taeil gestured him to stay seated. He put down his bag and sat beside him, giving Shiro a little scratch on the head. He took his hand away quickly, when he realised he was rubbing awkwardly close to Taeyong's lap.

"I hope you didn't have a boring day," he said. "I noticed you cleaned up the kitchen."

"Sorry, it's just my habit. Cleaning up helps me think."

Taeil laughed. "By all means clean up as much as you like in here. What were you thinking about?"

"I wasn't able to solve the problem with the balls."

"Don't feel bad, it's not easy. I can give you a few more pointers if you like."

They stood up to go back to the kitchen. "I made you some dinner," Taeyong said with some embarrassment. "It's just stew, so you can eat it with Johnny later when he comes home."

"Did you want to eat now?"

"I was going to, yes."

"In that case I will eat with you. I'll tell you about the problem over dinner. Besides, I'm hungry too."

Taeyong's stew was delicious. Eating it made Taeil feel another wave of strange excitement about Taeyong. This celebrity, also his love rival, was so fascinating. He was enjoying it so much he didn't realise that Taeyong was looking uncomfortable, and he ate very little.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine. It just feels weird eating in front of another person. I always eat alone."

"But eating with other people is so much fun. It's better to share plates when you go out, and that way you get to try a bit of everything." Taeil stopped talking when he remembered omegas had so many rules about eating. "I'm not an alpha," he added unnecessarily. "You don't have to be shy in front of me."

"I know. But for some reason you have the feel of an alpha." He blushed and looked down. "Maybe because you remind me of Johnny, or because you are smart."

Taeil was terribly flattered. He never imagined anyone would ever describe him as having "the feel of an alpha". He was so shy and small.

"I wouldn't say I'm that smart. I like puzzles, but that's about it. I mean, I'm only a librarian. I wasn't good enough to get into med school." He paused. "You cook very well, by the way. I never expected a celebrity would also be so talented at cooking."

"I had to be in charge of the cooking at my house when I was 16," Taeyong replied. "I wouldn't say I'm an expert at it, but it's one of my interests."

"You are very humble. Beautiful, talented and good at cooking too." Taeil stopped himself when he realised he was babbling. "Please take your time. When we're finished dinner we can look over the puzzles again."

When Johnny came home he was met with another unexpected scene - Taeyong and Taeil sitting with their heads together over a notepad and a few sheets of paper. Taeil looked up. "Hey Johnny, we were just discussing a maths problem. There's still some food left if you're hungry."

Johnny looked tired and bothered. "I'm not hungry actually. I think I will go straight to bed."

As soon as Johnny was gone Taeyong pushed back his chair. "I don't think Johnny wants me here," he said. "I can tell my presence is making him uncomfortable. I'll go home tonight."

"Honestly I don't think it's that," Taeil told him. "He's been having a bad time at work these days."

"But me being here is adding to that pressure. It's a nuisance."

"I don't think so. You were very helpful taking care of the cleaning."

"Thank you. But I think I should go."

 

* * *

 

When Taeil went to bed, Johnny was still awake. He was writing an email on his notebook. Taeil persuaded him to put it away. "Don't do work before bed," he said. "It's not good for your stress."

Johnny gave him a weak smile. "I was almost finished."

"Just go to sleep. It can wait until tomorrow."

Johnny agreed and then climbed into bed. Taeil touched his arm. "You weren't perhaps doing it to distract yourself from Taeyong coming here?"

"Why do you say that?"

"Ten told me that Doyoung told you he had a plan to stop Taeyong falling into the wrong hands, and it involved you pretending to be in a relationship with him."

Johnny narrowed his eyes. "Something like that."

"I don't really understand how your systems and rules work, but he's been punished by the Alpha Council, right?"

"Yes, and quite an unfair punishment too. They're forcing him into chastity and obedience training." He paused. "The plan is basically that I should be his trainer, to stop some alpha taking advantage of him."

"So - are you going to do it?" Taeil looked into his eyes and they gazed at each other silently for a few moments. Taeil could see that this was something Johnny had been wrestling with. He didn't say anything, so Taeil continued: "Ten explained the situation to me because he said I deserved to know about it. So, I'll give you my say: I think you should do it."

Johnny moved awkwardly on the bed. "Taeil... it's complicated."

"I understand that, but I also think you do want to help him. He was your friend, and you are the sort of person who always wants to help people. I suspect the only reason you are holding back is out of respect for me, and I'm telling you honestly: I don't ever want to be the reason you hold back anything. Do what you think is right." He looked down and took a deep breath. "And if the reason you are worried about this is because you think you still have feelings for him, isn't it better to get it all out? I don't want you to be with me if you are always thinking in the back of your mind that you could have been with him. I know he's more beautiful than me, and he cooks and cleans well, but... perhaps letting you be with him is the way I can show my love to you, and my faith in your love for me."

Taeil realised that he had spoken for a long time, and Johnny had been very quiet. He reached over to rub Johnny's hand, and to his surprise, Johnny started to cry. Taeil pulled him in close and he cried into his shoulder, while Taeil stroked his hair.

"You're too good for me," Johnny murmured. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," Taeil said, but in the back of his mind he realised that the fear of losing Johnny had become real to him. He held onto Johnny as tight as he could.


	11. The Alpha Council

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johnny learns more about Doyoung's political ambitions, and meets a few old acquaintances on the alpha council.

On Monday, Johnny accompanied Doyoung to council headquarters to confirm his appointment as Taeyong's trainer. "You know, I still don't feel comfortable about this," he admitted as they stepped into the elevator. "It feels like I'm being unfaithful to Taeil."

Doyoung rolled his eyes. "You're overthinking it. If even Taeil says it's okay for you to do the training, you should just do it. Do you think as soon as you train Taeyong you're going to forget about your boyfriend?"

"I really don't think so."

"Then stop worrying."

The elevator opened on the top floor and they stepped out. A glass door led to a common room, filled with armchairs and a piano. At the moment it was empty. Doyoung cautiously sat on the arm of one of the chairs, and checked his watch. "I told my brother-in-law we were coming. I have some other things to discuss with him."

Johnny wandered over to a notice board, which displayed a list of the current council members. A few names were familiar to him. They were mostly alphas who had frequented the alpha forum when he was at college. One of note was Kim Jongdae, whom Johnny remembered from the discussions. He was serious and handsome, a couple of years Johnny and Doyoung's senior. Johnny was therefore not surprised to find that he had been recently elected. He was however, surprised to discover that the council also contained his old dorm manager Park Chanyeol. Chanyeol had always been popular and well-liked among the alpha cohort, but Johnny had never known him to have interest in politics.

Doyoung received a text message and quickly left in search of his brother-in-law, leaving Johnny to contemplate his surroundings of the lobby. From the window he could see the cold December wind shaking the trees on the street. The grey afternoon light looked like a story book. Johnny stood alone at the window for a few moments, before he was joined by another person. He turned to see a familiar face.

"Sehun-hyung!"

Sehun gave Johnny a cordial nod. "It's been a long time. But I heard a rumour you were coming back."

Johnny felt a little stuck for words. He wanted to be friendly with his old university senior, but he didn't know how best to explain his absence. "Yes, I thought it would be a good idea to have a few years away from everything."

"I heard you were living life as a beta for a bit." Sehun said it casually, as though he was implying that Johnny had taken some kind of experience-based gap year. "It's quite interesting to me actually. Although I can't imagine why anyone would want to live the life of a beta. Wasn't it boring? But it's good you came back. This place could really do with a guy like you."

Johnny didn't hide his surprise. "A guy like me? What for?"

"You know... fresh blood." He waved his hand around aimlessly. "There's been a bit of a changing of the guard in the council, and it's been a good opportunity to shake things up. You probably would have heard that Junmyeon had been elected chairman - and Jongdae and Chanyeol have been appointed as councilors. There are many opportunities for young guys."

"What about you? Are you going to apply for the council?"

Sehun shrugged. "Probably not soon. I'm too busy with work at the moment, and besides, I'd rather not get married too soon." He paused to give Johnny a thorough look-over. "But you, Johnny. You always seemed like the 'marry young' type. Do you have an omega ready and lined up?"

Johnny cleared his throat. "No, I do not have an omega."

"Did I hear a rumour about you and Lee Taeyong?"

"You might have heard that I'm going to be Taeyong's trainer for his upcoming omega training course. But I wouldn't call him my omega."

"So there's a good chance he could _become_ your omega. But Lee Taeyong... a pretty face, but a heart of stone - at least so I've heard."

Johnny wondered how much Sehun really knew about Taeyong to talk about him like this. What sort of reputation did he have? "I've never thought of him as having a heart of stone. I think he's actually quite sensitive."

"Ah yes, you used to know him well, didn't you? See, I thought you were a one-omega type of guy. You've stayed faithful to Taeyong after everything that happened."

Johnny nodded and avoided Sehun's gaze.

"Just as well you'll get to train him," Sehun continued, somewhat absently.

"It was actually a council requirement," Johnny said, a little softly. "Part of his punishment, regarding that whole scandal."

"Oh right," Sehun replied. He always spoke in a monotone so it was hard to tell whether he had been paying attention to that story, or if he really found it uninteresting. After a pause, he said, "It was expected of Nakamoto Yuta. I always thought there was something strange about him."

"Strange?"

"Weak, perhaps is the better way to say it."

"Oh." Johnny didn't want to have any conversation about Yuta, so he changed the topic. "Hyung, what have you been up to these days?"

"The usual - work, partying. Speaking of parties, the costume party is next week."

"What costume party?"

Sehun raised his eyebrow. "You don't know it? Everyone who's anyone goes to the costume party. I'll make sure you're on the guest list." He gave Johnny a slap on the shoulder.

"Uh, thanks."

Johnny looked around to see if Doyoung had come back.

"Are you waiting for someone? Actually, you know I was about to meet with Jongdae and Chanyeol, if you wanted to come. I think they might be interested to catch up with you, since it's been a long time."

Johnny was too curious to reject this offer. He collected his coat, thinking that Doyoung would forgive him for disappearing if it meant he got some information from council members. Sehun took him to a rooftop bar not far away. The building was so tall you could see Gwangandaegyo Bridge from the balcony. Johnny stared at it for a second, but it was too cold to stay outside. Sehun ushered him into a private room.

Jongdae and Chanyeol stood to greet them. Johnny bowed with some deference. The room was dark and it took a moment for him to make out their expressions.

"You guys remember Johnny - John Seo, from the law school."

"I remember him," Chanyeol said with a smile. "You came to me to transfer out of my dorm."

Johnny chuckled awkwardly. Chanyeol said it in a friendly way, so it didn't seem as though there were any hard feelings. "You're right, I did."

"You wanted to share a room with Nakamoto Yuta. I distinctly remember that detail."

"Well yes, we were close friends."

They all took a seat. Johnny hoped that they would drop the talk of Yuta and himself but it seemed as though Jongdae had become curious. "I had forgotten that you and Nakamoto were close."

"Well," Johnny replied honestly, "we're not really as close as we used to be."

"Johnny is going to be Lee Taeyong's trainer," Sehun said.

"I know," Jongdae replied. "I had to review the application. The council recommended Taeyong do a training course, and I noticed Johnny on the list of nominations for trainer. He always had an eye on Lee Taeyong, so I wasn't too bothered to accept it. Perhaps you and him will make it work this time."

Chanyeol lifted his glass, but did not drink. "I guess that would be why you are no longer friends with Nakamoto. A love triangle? It's a pity when a friendship is ended because of a lover, but these things happen."

"Yes," Johnny murmured, not wanting to provide any more information.

"I was always skeptical of Nakamoto and his intentions on Taeyong. They weren't a good match. They both cared more about their careers than each other, and Nakamoto never had a strong desire for omegas. I heard he prefers... women?"

"Yes, I heard that too," Sehun said. "I heard he slept with one of the models that Taeyong worked with. He was a bit of a playboy."

Johnny cleared his throat. Even though so much anger could build up inside him, Johnny had never been very good at being confrontational. He always had the instinct to be friendly. But he was sitting with the very men that had handed Taeyong his punishment. How could he not mention it?

"If you don't mind me asking, if Yuta had been such a bad alpha - why was it that Taeyong was the one who got punished?"

Jongdae surprised him by laughing. "That reminds me of something you used to say at the alpha forum in college. Didn't you go through a phase when you were always talking about omegas and their rights?"

Johnny straightened his back. "Yes, that's true." He wanted to add - _it wasn't a phase_ , but he did not.

"Johnny, you seem like a genuine lover of omegas," Jongdae mused. "I think that's a good thing. You would make a better husband than Nakamoto."

"Uh. Thanks."

"But I should tell you about Taeyong, since you are curious. I don't really like to think of it as us 'punishing' him, it was more that we gave him a set of recommendations. These recommendations were designed for his own benefit. The problem is that since being with an alpha such as Nakamoto, he is not properly accustomed to the proper lifestyle of an omega, and that could make it hard for him to adjust if he were to find himself in another relationship. He is too used to being free and selfish. But that's not to say we should rule him out. He's a good looking omega, with a submissive sensibility, and all he needs is the right partner to bring that out of him. I don't know who that could be. With any luck, it will be you."

They returned to drinking and talking about other matters relating to work. Sehun worked in banking and Jongdae and Chanyeol had related interests. Johnny joined in out of politeness, but it was hard for him to contribute. Finally, Jongdae threw him a question.

"Where is it you work again, Johnny?"

"Uh, a law firm. KM and Associates."

"I've never heard of it."

"It's a small firm. Mainly we deal with property law."

"Are you a partner?"

"A partner?" Johnny almost laughed in shock. He then quickly realised that they didn't know he hadn't completed his law degree and he was only a paralegal. "No, I mean. Not yet."

"Well, best of luck."

When they said goodbye both Chanyeol and Jongdae bowed and shook Johnny's hand. Jongdae said, "I suppose I'll see you at the training sessions."

"But the costume party is first," Chanyeol said.

"Oh right. Johnny are you coming to the party?"

"Uh, well. I only just heard about it today, so I..."

Chanyeol laughed heartily. "You should definitely come. We'll see you there."

 

* * *

 

When Johnny returned to the council headquarters he found Doyoung sitting on a lounge chair in the lobby, in a tête-à-tête with his brother-in-law. Johnny went over to join them and was surprised to find a young child sitting on the rug beside them. The child stared at Johnny with big frightened eyes as he slowly took a seat.

Doyoung was busy speaking with his brother, so Johnny turned his attention to the child. "Hey there, little guy. What's your name?"

The child put his fingers in his mouth and continued to stare silently at Johnny. He supposed this kid was a child of one of the councilors, but he wasn't aware that Doyoung's brother had any children so maybe he belonged to another.

"My name is Johnny. What's that you've got there?"

There was a small toy truck and some cards on the rug. The child picked up a card and took a few steps towards Johnny, his other hand still in his mouth. He cautiously offered the card to Johnny, perhaps as a kind of peace token.

"Why thank you," Johnny said, gently taking the card.

He was suddenly taken aback by a loud voice. "Johnny Seo, is that you?"

Johnny stood up quickly and greeted the man who addressed him. "Dr Shin, it's been a long time."

The doctor noticed the card that Johnny was awkwardly holding in his hand. "Ah yes, he likes the pokemons," he said, reaching down to ruffle the hair of the kid. "Minyeollie, take your hand out of your mouth."

The child continued to look up at Johnny with wide eyes. Johnny looked down at the card. "Ah... Charmander, that's a good one." The child reached his hand up, and Johnny passed the card back. It seemed that he had been merely showing, not offering it as a gift.

It was obvious to him now that this "Minyeollie" must be Dr Shin's child. There was no trace of the doctor's appearance in him, but those big eyes did now strike him as familiar. "He looks a lot like Hansol," he commented.

"Well, he is indeed Hansol's son."

"Does he talk?"

"Yes, he's three and a half now. But he does get shy around strangers."

Minyeol had now decided that he liked Johnny and picked up more pokemon cards to show him.

"Do you think he will become an alpha?" Johnny asked Dr Shin.

"Based on my observations, I think not. It's more likely he'll be an omega. We'll know for sure in a couple of years, but that's my guess."

_Poor little guy,_ Johnny thought as he took more of Minyeol's pokemon cards. _What a life of bullshit you have coming up._

"I suppose Doyoung called on you to come today," the doctor said to Johnny.

"Well, sort of. I've had to confirm my attendance at an upcoming omega training day."

Dr Shin did not seem particularly surprised or interested in this. "But I'm guessing you know about Doyoung's plans."

"He wants to get married to Ten, I know that."

"Yes, and to join the Alpha Council. For which, he will need a legally married omega. Hence why he needs that marriage license. The marriage is perhaps the only obstacle he has - in every other aspect he is a good candidate for the council, and I will recommend him myself." He took a seat beside Johnny, as he watched his son play with the cards. "I have been a member of the council for 7 years. I thought it might be time to step down, pass on the baton so to speak. I have other interests to pursue. I'm expanding my practice, and it's hard to balance that with teaching."

"You have a young family too, I suppose."

"Yes, that is true. But Hansol manages all of that." He paused. "If I resign from the council, that means that he would have to step down from the omega council. But I don't think that would bother him, since he also has many things to work on these days."

"There's an omega council?"

"Of course, the complement to the alpha council, there must be an omega council. But it's made up entirely of the partners of the alpha council. Hence why an alpha applying for the council must have a legally married omega."

"So the alpha council is chosen and the omega council is formed by default?"

"I know it seems like that, but that is not at all the case. When an alpha is being considered for the council, take Doyoung for example, his omega is also considered for the omega council. They must both be deemed appropriate for the role."

"What exactly does the omega council do?"

The doctor chuckled. "That's a good question. Organise events? I'm not even sure."

"So why does it matter if an omega is not carefully selected?"

"You are quite right, the omega is not the most important factor in selecting the council. But they do at least need to be an omega of reasonably good character, and good record."

"I'm guessing Ten would be a suitable fit?"

"Based on what I know of Ten, I'm sure he would be fine."

"Then do you think Doyoung is certain to get on the council?"

"Like I said, he has my recommendation. I can't speak for the rest of the council, or indeed the chairman. At the end of the day, Doyoung needs numbers, and any show of support helps. That's why I supposed he's enlisted you."

Johnny had a dark thought. What if this whole plot to get him to help Taeyong, to get him back into alpha-omega society, was really just a ploy from Doyoung to get support for his political goals? But he dismissed it. Doyoung wasn't really that Machiavellian.

At last Doyoung's intense conversation with his brother-in-law seemed to be wrapping up. They both stood and embraced.

Doyoung addressed the doctor. "I appreciate you coming to speak to me today. I'm very grateful for your support." They said goodbye.

Johnny waited for Doyoung to join him at the elevator. When he got closer, and they were alone, he realised for the first time just how tired Doyoung looked.

"How are you? You seem a bit stressed."

"I'm fine, I've just been busy lately."

"So are you any closer to getting the marriage license?"

"Not really. But at least I now know for sure that there are powers working against me in the council. I don't know who exactly yet, but as long as I can get enough numbers on my side, it won't matter."

"How many do you currently have?"

"My brother-in-law, Dr Shin and my boss at the firm. All reasonably high ranking, which is good. But I will need a few more, considering how Dr Shin is leaving." When they stepped outside, Doyoung checked his phone. "Ten says he'll be here in five minutes, if you wanted to see him."

"Of course."

It was cold outside, but Johnny enjoyed watching the lights and Christmas decorations in shop windows. "Dr Shin's kid is cute, don't you think?" he said conversationally.

Doyoung replied. "It's not his real kid, you know."

Johnny raised his eyebrows. "I didn't know. I thought he and Hansol..."

"They tried, but it didn't work. Hansol kept getting sick because his body was rejecting the DNA. They tried again with a donor and it worked."

With some guilt, Johnny remembered the long time Hansol had spent in hospital. He had been too distracted to pay attention to it at the time. "Was the donor another alpha?"

Doyoung smiled and rolled his eyes. "Can you imagine an alpha raising another alpha's child? They used an omega - the nurse who works at Dr Shin's practice."

"Is this public knowledge?"

Doyoung shrugged. "No, and yet somehow everyone knows."

"I guess what they say is true: gossip travels like wildfire among alphas and omegas."

"Hmm. You didn't wonder what people said about you?"

Johnny shrugged. "I didn't intend to come back, so I never thought about it."

"You really didn't intend to come back?" Doyoung looked straight at him, so Johnny looked at the pavement. "Well, the rumours were that you had a fight with Yuta."

"Yeah? A lover's quarrel?"

"The word was that Taeyong chose him over you, and you were jealous. So you left."

"Well, that's not true."

"I know that! That's just what it looked like. I did my best to spread counter rumours. I told people that you had gone travelling, that you had left to see the world and experience life as a beta."

"Why didn't you tell them the truth?"

Doyoung rolled his eyes. "Because the truth is ridiculous. Besides, I wanted to make it easy for you to come back. Because I _knew_ you would want to come back."

Johnny could only laugh. Doyoung was so disagreeable, and yet Johnny felt a pang of gratitude towards him. He was suddenly relieved to think: _at least Doyoung still loves me._

When Ten came he gave Johnny a hug, before sliding up against Doyoung. Doyoung put an arm around his waist.

"Johnny, you look happy," Ten said, grinning.

"I was just thinking about what a good friend Doyoung is."

Ten laughed heartily. "Sure you were."

"Oh, I forgot to tell you. I bumped into Sehun and a couple of old seniors earlier. They mentioned there was a big costume party coming up next week. Do you know anything about it?"

"The costume party!" Ten cried.

Doyoung groaned. "That damned costume party..."

"It's a lot of fun," Ten said. "Johnny, you should come. Everyone goes."

"Doyoung - you don't seem enthusiastic."

Doyoung sighed. "The annual costume party is a cesspool of debauchery. It's like putting a mask on gives everyone a free pass to be on their worst behaviour."

Ten giggled. "He's exaggerating. It's not that bad."

"Maybe not. But every year something terrible or embarrassing happens. _Every year!_ "

"So are you both going?"

"Yes, we'll be there," Doyoung said with a sigh. "I need the opportunity to network with more council members. And... Ten likes the party."

Ten kissed his shoulder. "Yes! Let's all go!"

 

* * *

 

"I'm going to a costume party next week," Johnny said as he undressed that night.

Johnny made up his mind to tell Taeil everything he could about what was happening. He now realised that Taeil appreciated the honesty more than any clumsy attempt to protect his feelings from jealousy.

Taeil was already in bed, reading a book. He looked up from it to smile at Johnny. "What are you going to go as?"

"I don't know. I was told I don't need to prepare anything, I just show up and they give me a mask."

"That sounds fun."

"I thought you didn't like parties."

"Me, no. But it sounds fun for you." He paused. "I presumed I'm not invited anyway."

"It's cult-like alpha omega business. You wouldn't want to be invited, even if you were."

"You don't need to tell me that. I'm looking forward to staying home and catching up on my studying."

Johnny groaned. "I totally forgot you were doing that course. How's it going?"

Taeil put his book aside, and reached out his arms. "Don't feel bad, I know you've been stressed lately. You don't need to worry about me. I'm enjoying the study anyway."

Johnny climbed into the bed, snuggling into the blankets as Taeil began to gently massage his scalp. He wondered why he would ever want to leave this bed; with Taeil's caresses giving him a pleasurable shiver, he thought he could stay here for the rest of his life.

He heard his phone buzz. He groaned and sat up. Taeil kissed his face. "Don't worry about it, it can wait until to tomorrow."

"Sounds like I have an email. It could be work."

"It can wait."

Johnny checked the screen. "Oh," he said. "It's from Taeyong."

Now Taeil seemed interested too. "What's the matter?"

Johnny opened the email and frowned. "It just says... _Tell Taeil I took 0,1,2...9 balls out of each bag._ What is he talking about?"

Taeil was smiling. "He solved the puzzle!"


	12. The Costume Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johnny attends his first alpha/omega costume party and hears some gossip. Meanwhile, Doyoung and Ten face a challenge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters are coming out a bit slower lately, since I have exhausted my drafts and I'm writing chapters from scratch. Thank you for your patience!

On the night of the party, Johnny bumped into Chanyeol at the front of the Alpha Council club house.

"Johnny, great to see you made it."

"Well, I couldn't turn down an invitation." He was wearing his nicest three piece suit, with a red tie. He adjusted it a little, out of habit.

"You need a mask," Chanyeol said. "Come this way."

Johnny had originally meant to wait outside for Doyoung, but he didn't see the harm in heading in early. Besides, it was warmer inside and he couldn't wait much longer in the cold.

Chanyeol took him to the cloak room of the club house. From there he picked up two masks from the shelf. "Everyone just picks theirs up from here. Here, have the red one. It matches your tie." Chanyeol handed it to Johnny, and wore the green one himself. Johnny's mixed apprehension about the party - mainly the thought of having to face so many of the alphas he had distanced himself from - started to fall away. The idea of wearing the mask in particular made him feel less exposed, and his nerves turned to excitement.

They took the lift the top level where the club room was located. Johnny had previously only seen this room when it was empty, but it looked ten times larger when it was full of people. And what an amazing sight of people! The guests were disguised beyond recognition, with masks and some with elaborate cloaks. On the other extreme, some guests were hardly dressed at all. He saw a pack of young men in hot pants walk past him as he entered the room and his eyes automatically followed their pretty, naked legs. Then it dawned on him.

He whispered to Chanyeol. "Why are all the omegas half naked?"

Chanyeol chuckled. "Party dress code, of course."

Johnny noticed something else: he could see their faces. Most omegas had head decorations but no masks.

"Why no masks?"

"Well, they're omegas," Chanyeol replied as if that was sufficient explanation.

"What do you mean? They must identified?"

"Well, they like to show their faces. Omegas are always proud of their faces, aren't they?"

"I guess."

Johnny must have bored Chanyeol with his questions because he made an excuse to break away. Johnny was left alone only for a moment before he spotted Ten and Doyoung.

Ten was dressed elegantly in a colourful button-up shirt and (the apparently requisite) hot pants. Until then Johnny never would have thought it possible to look elegant in hot pants but Ten had clearly mastered the look. Doyoung was also looking sharp in a designer suit. Johnny thought he already had the look of a politician.

When Johnny approached them, they were in the middle of a conversation so he did not interrupt.

"You know what we talked about," Doyoung was saying, "you have to follow me closely. Stay by my side. Like a lamb."

"Like a lamb," Ten repeated and laughed.

"Take this seriously! We have to show everyone we are a respectable couple. You must be meek tonight." He paused. "Nothing like your normal self. But just for tonight."

Ten moved slightly to allow Johnny into their conversation. "I wanted to introduce Johnny to some of my friends. Am I allowed to do that?"

Doyoung sighed. "I suppose. But stay beside Johnny then, and don't wander off. I need you next to me if I get introduced to anyone."

"Of course. I love you Doongie!"

"Don't call me that here." Doyoung blushed, but he moved in so that Ten could softly kiss his lips. "I'm going to find my brother, don't be long."

Doyoung disappeared into the crowd and Ten took Johnny by the hand.

"Johnny you look very handsome tonight."

"And you look... charming."

Ten laughed. "Well, it is fun to wear colours and show your legs sometimes..."

"Doyoung seems a bit edgy."

"He wants to make a good impression on the council members, that's why. But talking to alphas is so boring, don't you think?" He flashed Johnny a cheeky smile. "Come on, I'll introduce you to some interesting people."

Ten took Johnny over to a pair of omegas. They both had leaf and flower wreaths on their heads, and what looked like glitter on their cheeks. It was though they had dressed up as some kind of woodland fairies. Johnny felt awkward to be wearing a mask while none of the omegas were. He took his off.

Ten introduced each in turn. "This is Eunwoo and Moonbin."

Now Johnny realised that the one on the left, with sparkling eyes and a brilliant white smile was indeed the famous Cha Eunwoo. The glitter had distracted him. Eunwoo bowed, and his companion followed suit. "Now that I look at your face, I think we've met before. Is it Johnny?"

"Uh, yes, that's right." Johnny was surprised at how star struck he felt now seeing Cha Eunwoo in person, even though they had met at the college before he was famous.

"Weren't you in the same year as Yuta and Taeyong?"

"That's right."

Eunwoo bowed again. "My apologies, you are my senior. We haven't met in a long time."

Something about Eunwoo's manners had a slight air of irreverance, which put Johnny at ease. Perhaps his celebrity status made him less deferential to alphas.

Moonbin, on his right, spoke to Johnny. "Were you friends with them - Yuta and Taeyong?" To Johnny's surprise, he was even more direct than Eunwoo.

"In college, yes. But I've uh, been away for a few years."

"But you've heard what happened?"

"The break up? Yes."

"It's such a pity," Moonbin continued. "They were always the star attraction of the costume party. It feels weird with them not here this year."

Johnny realised that Ten was no longer at his side, and the crowd had moved so that he was speaking only to Eunwoo and Moonbin. They had moved in close and lowered their voices.

Eunwoo said, "I've only spoken to Taeyong once since the incident, and he seemed very unhappy."

"Naturally," Moonbin replied. "Taeyong was deeply in love with Yuta - they were a perfect couple."

"Then why did they break up?" Johnny asked.

"If they're your friends, you should ask them yourself," Moonbin said. He softened the accusation with a cheeky smile.

Eunwoo weighed in, diplomatically. "I think it was the pressure they were under, from the public and the media. They had to have a perfect image all the time and that must have been hard. I feel sorry for both of them, to be honest."

"Are you friends with Taeyong?" Johnny asked them.

They exchanged smiles. "We've worked with Taeyong," Eunwoo said, "but I wouldn't say we were friends. But don't get the wrong idea. People say Taeyong and I have something of a professional rivalry, but in truth I don't know him that well. It almost seems as if no one knows him well. He's always been very mysterious." He smiled at Johnny, and Johnny felt flustered straight away. "It was nice talking to you again but I'm afraid I will have to be rude and say goodbye to you early. I have a schedule early tomorrow morning." He bowed respectfully then left.

Johnny hoped to keep Moonbin in his company for a little longer, to hear some more of his gossip. He wondered why Moonbin was so sure that Taeyong had been deeply in love with Yuta, after hearing Yuta cry and insist that Taeyong had never loved him. 

Moonbin's eyes watched Johnny's face with a sort of humour. They were pretty eyes, elongated like a cat's. Before Johnny could mistake it for flirting he saw that Moonbin had a gold chain around his neck, and also a matching gold ring. Claimed and married.

"If you don't mind me saying, you seem young to be married."

"Oh, I'm not really. If an omega is lucky enough to get a good offer, he takes it. Not all of us have the fortitude to be eternal virgins like Eunwoo..." He paused with a smile. "Would you like to be introduced to someone who isn't married?"

"Oh... wait, no, not like that. I'm already spoken for."

"Well, Johnny, it was nice speaking with you but I should go find my husband. Have a good night."

 

* * *

 

As soon as Moonbin was gone, Johnny realised he had no idea where Ten was. He spun around and scanned the room. At last he spotted Doyoung, standing with his back to Johnny, and beside him was an omega wearing a white shirt (an omega who was definitely not Ten). Johnny pushed his way through the crowd towards them. Doyoung was busy talking to another masked alpha, and he did not look when Johnny arrived, but the omega turned to greet him.

He bowed. "An alpha with a face. That's a nice surprise."

Johnny did not recognise him. "We haven't met before. I'm John Seo, or Johnny. I'm an old friend of Doyoung."

The omega's eyes lit up. He had small eyes, but they were very animated. "I'm an intern at Doyoung's firm. I work with Doyoung mostly, so he's kind of like my boss. My name is Kim Jungwoo."

"What's it like working with Doyoung?"

"I love it, he's so smart."

Johnny laughed because he wasn't expecting that sort of enthusiasm about Doyoung. "Doyoung and I were at law school together. I work at a different firm."

"Do you know Nakamoto Yuta too?"

"Yes, I was close with him and Taeyong too. Do you know them?"

Jungwoo shook his head. "I've never met them. I only read about them in the magazines, same as everyone else. Until tonight I didn't even know that Doyoung knew them. I couldn't believe that Doyoung is friends with celebrities too. He is really amazing!"

Johnny wasn't even sure how to react to this gushing about Doyoung. "Are you friends with Ten?" he asked.

Jungwoo's smile fell slightly. "I've met him a couple of times. He comes to the office sometimes."

There was a lull in their conversation. Johnny checked to see if Doyoung was available but he was still talking intensely with his companion. Just as he was about to think of something else to say to Jungwoo, he felt Jungwoo's hand on his elbow.

"I really like this song! Will you dance with me?"

"Ah... of course."

As they moved to the dance floor, Johnny put his mask back on. Jungwoo watched him with a smile. "I thought you wanted to show off your face?"

"I didn't want to talk to you with a mask on, but I thought I should have the right dress code for the dance floor." In reality, Johnny was cautious about people recognising him dancing with an omega, seeing how fast gossip could spread.

"I thought it was because you have such a handsome face."

Johnny was feeling warm. They had the heating on inside since it was winter, but it now seemed even hotter than before. And Jungwoo moved in close to him, his warm, naked leg sliding up against Johnny's suit. And that scent! It was so thrilling and fresh. Johnny thought he would jump out of his skin.

Jungwoo was shorter than him, but taller than Ten or Taeyong. It was the perfect height for Johnny to lean in and kiss him. He came in close and then stopped himself. "How old are you?" he found himself asking.

"I'm 18."

"Eighteen! I thought you worked with Doyoung. Aren't you in school?"

"I told you, I'm doing an internship. I want to major in law."

"Unusual for an omega."

"I know. A few of my friends are already married, but I'm interested in having a career. I don't want to be tied to an alpha just yet."

Johnny subconsciously moved in closer. Those were almost the exact words Taeyong had said to him many years ago.

"Well I hope you stick with it. You must be very talented to have an internship so early."

"Thank you."

Johnny resisted his urge to keep holding Jungwoo close, and instead looked over his shoulder. A few people moved aside and he could see Ten in his colourful shirt speaking with a masked alpha that was not Doyoung. It seemed that Doyoung's plan to keep Ten by his side all night had fallen through.

The alpha speaking to Ten was wearing a glitter mask and a top hat like a magician. He was average height. Johnny had no idea who he was. Ten was speaking to him very seriously, with a frown on his face.

Johnny turned Jungwoo around slightly and whispered into his ear. "Can you see Ten speaking to an alpha over there? Do you know who he is?"

"Of course," Jungwoo replied cheerfully. "That's my boss at the firm. Doyoung's boss actually."

"Oh, what's his name?"

"Lee Taemin. He's very generous with omegas, and easy for us to speak to. It was thanks to him that I got my internship."

Johnny wasn't sure what to make of that information. He was still curious as to why Ten was speaking to him so intensely. "I wonder what they are talking about. Perhaps it's to do with Doyoung joining the council."

Jungwoo smiled at the mention of Doyoung. "Oh yes, Taemin is helping Doyoung join the council too. He tells me about it sometimes. It will be so interesting to see him join the council, I hope he gets nominated."

"I've heard he needs to get married first."

"Yes, that's part of it. Taemin says that he will get married as soon as the council have deemed Ten to be suitable."

"Did he tell you this?"

Jungwoo blushed. "I overheard some things in the office."

The song was over. Johnny held Jungwoo's hand briefly, then let it go. "I better try and find Doyoung now. Thank you for the dance."

 

* * *

 

As soon as Johnny wanted to find them, both Ten and Doyoung had vanished. As he pushed his way through the crowd, he felt a tug on his arm. "Johnny is that you?"

Even with the mask, he recognised Sehun. He was with another alpha that Johnny did not know.

"Are you having a good night?"

"Sure, it's interesting," Johnny replied.

"I noticed you dancing with a young omega. Was that the intern from Lee Taemin's firm?"

Johnny sighed. The mask had barely worked at concealing his identity. "Yes, I only just met him."

"I've never heard of an omega interning at a law firm," the other alpha said. "Omegas in the workplace - seems like a recipe for infidelity."

Sehun chuckled. "That Lee Taemin sure loves omegas, doesn't he? I've heard so many stories about him."

"Well actually, I always seem to see that intern with Kim Doyoung."

Johnny had not meant to join in, but at this he cleared his throat. "I assume that's because they work together. I mean, Doyoung would never cheat..."

"I wouldn't be so sure. The guy is mercenary, and desperate to get on the alpha council. It's a pretty well known fact that the only thing blocking him is his omega. They don't see him fit for the omega council, so that's why they keep putting off giving Doyoung a marriage license. I wouldn't be surprised if that intern is his back-up plan."

"Doyoung told me that there were powers working against him on the council." Johnny realised a second later that it probably wasn't wise to speak so loosely about these things, especially since he didn't even know who this guy was, but this piece of gossip had shocked him.

The alpha shrugged. "As far as I know, the only problem is Ten. He's too dominating for the council, he'd turn it into a revolution! And just because he's an obedient sex pet to Doyoung, you can't underestimate the amount of power he has over him. Doyoung is basically whipped for that omega."

Johnny was feeling increasingly defensive. "Doyoung _loves_ Ten."

"Exactly," the alpha replied, as though that meant the same thing.

Sehun was getting bored with the conversation. He gave an exaggerated yawn. "So Johnny," he said. "Have you hooked up with any hot omegas lately?"

Johnny, still feeling fired up, responded firmly. "I'm dating a beta."

"Oh, nice!" Sehun seemed impressed. "I'm into betas lately too."

Johnny wanted to protest that his love for Taeil wasn't some kind of temporary fetish for betas, but by this stage he couldn't be bothered. "How so? I thought you said betas were dull," he asked, not even trying to hide his lack of interest.

Sehun seemed perfectly comfortable with this detachment. "I said I wouldn't want to be one, not that I wouldn't want to fuck one. They come in much more variety. Omegas are just simple minded sex addicts when you really get to know them."

"Sure," the other alpha replied. "But who really bothers with getting to know omegas?"

Johnny wondered if perhaps the fact that Doyoung and Ten _talked_ with each other was enough to make the other alphas suspicious of them. He could suddenly picture this masked alpha as one of the popular boys from college, and a surge of hatred stirred in his chest.

"I'm feeling tired," Johnny told them, suppressing his rage. "I think I might call it a night."

 

* * *

 

Johnny found Doyoung and Ten outside in the lobby, but he withdrew to the side when he saw that they were arguing. He came close enough to listen. He hoped that Doyoung wasn't going to punish Ten for leaving his side.

"What did I tell you?" Doyoung was saying. "We're running out of chances, and it feels like you just want to throw away everything."

"I was trying to help you!" Ten's voice was so stern that he seemed the angrier of the the two.

"By creating more rumours, being seen with an alpha with that sort of reputation?"

"What are you talking about, you---"

Doyoung turned away for a moment and he noticed that Johnny was there. "Oh, Johnny. I'm sorry you heard us arguing."

"I didn't mean to interrupt. Should I leave?"

"No, don't leave," Ten said. "Doyoung was just chastising me for speaking to alphas, while _he_ spent all night with that intern!"

"For heaven's sake, lower your voice. If anyone hears you yelling at me... actually, just go home. I'll meet you there."

Ten turned with a huff and walked straight towards the exit. Johnny moved in closer to Doyoung.

"I've never seen him so angry at you."

"He'll be back to normal in an hour."

"He has a point you know... I heard gossip about you and Kim Jungwoo."

Doyoung flashed Johnny a sharp glare, one that Johnny thought he probably deserved. "Are you crazy? You seriously think I would cheat on Ten after everything I'm doing to try and marry him?"

"I absolutely do not think you would ever cheat on Ten. But that's what I heard. Oh, and I talked to Kim Jungwoo. He has a major crush on you, you know."

"I know, but I can't help that." Doyoung sighed dramatically and Johnny suppressed a laugh.

"You are so full of yourself."

"Don't get the wrong idea, I'm not deluded enough to think young hot omegas will automatically fall in love with me, but Jungwoo has been working with me and he looks up to me because he's aspiring to become a lawyer too. He's at that age, so it's expected he would have those feelings. But that will pass."

Johnny paused. "Do you like that he dotes on you?"

Doyoung rolled his eyes, but then he half smiled. "Okay, sure, it's nice when someone likes you."

"And you would never take advantage?"

"Johnny! I'm with Ten every single day, we even meet up at lunch time. And I don't mean to be awkward, but I can hardly keep up with Ten - I just don't have the stamina for another lover!"

Now Johnny laughed out loud. "Okay, I understand. And you know I know you would never cheat."

"I guess it doesn't help the rumours that Ten and I were arguing." Doyoung sighed. "I told you, this party never ends well."


	13. The Training

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johnny gets a taste of some alpha-omega rituals at his first omega training.

On the day of the training, Johnny woke up with a hard on between Taeil's legs. At some point during the night he had lost his shorts and how his bare cock was pushing against the fabric of Taeil's boxers. Taeil moaned softly, still asleep. He wouldn't be bothered by the feeling of Johnny's erection in the morning as this was a daily occurrence, and by now he was used to Johnny rubbing against him.

But why on this day of all days did Johnny have to feel this horny? On a normal Saturday he would have liked to stay in bed all morning, making love to Taeil at a leisurely pace, until Taeil finally had enough of him (because Johnny knew _he_ could never have enough). Today was the day he had to leave Taeil and face the alpha council, and more importantly, Taeyong.

He rubbed against Taeil a few times, purely out of desperation. Taeil did not wake up, so Johnny went to go get ready. By the time he was dressed, Taeil had woken up and he looked up at Johnny smiling.

"Why do you look so grim today?"

Johnny laughed. "Do I? I felt like sleeping in."

Taeil yawned. "I think I might sleep in a bit..."

Johnny went down on the bed, so he could hover over Taeil on all fours. He began to kiss Taeil's neck, but Taeil pushed him away. "I'm all grubby, don't kiss me." He touched Johnny's face. "You better get going. You'll miss the bus."

Johnny reluctantly pulled himself back. "I know. I'm ready, I just have to pack my toothbrush."

Taeil sat up again, this time a more serious look on his face. "I hope you make the most out of whatever you do today, and like I said, don't hold back because of me. You know I'll be waiting here for you tomorrow night."

"I know. We'll spend some time together then." He paused. "And Taeil... you know I'm not going to have sex with him."

Taeil smiled. "It's okay Johnny. You know I trust you."

 

* * *

 

Johnny's hot and bothered mood didn't die down on his way to the training. He caught a bus out of the city, to a pension style house similar to the ones he remembered from when he was younger. The taste of Taeil was still on his lips, and Johnny kept imagining how nice it would be to be lying in bed with him instead.

The pension was nestled somewhere at the foot of the mountains, and it was cold when he stepped out. He was greeted in the driveway by Jongdae and Chanyeol.

"I hope it wasn't too hard to find."

"I think I came here once before, when I was in high school."

"We like to have the training sessions out of the city, it helps with concentration I find," Jongdae told him. "We should go inside, the chairman is waiting to meet you."

As Johnny removed his shoes at the entrance, a young man came to take his coat. The delicate omega scent made his skin feel tight. He realised now that his recent burst of horniness could be traced back to the night of the costume party, when it had been ignited by all those omega pheromones. He resented it, but it was a fact. He turned to get a look at the face of the omega who had touched him, but he was already walking away and Johnny settled on a view of his backside.

He was ushered into the main room where Kim Junmyeon, the chairman, was waiting. He was not very old, and he had a soft face. Johnny would have considered him an unexpected choice for chairman. Jongdae introduced them to each other.

"John Seo, it's a pleasure to meet you. I hear you are doing the sessions with Lee Taeyong today."

"That's right."

"Taemin will be in charge of the training. He should be here in a minute."

"Taemin?" Johnny wondered if this was the man he had seen briefly at the party, Doyoung's boss. "Do you mean the lawyer?"

"Yes," Jongdae told him. "He's a senior council member."

"Taemin does a lot of these omega training sessions," Junmyeon continued. "He's one of the best trainers we have. We thought it best to enlist him for such an important omega as Taeyong."

The omega from before returned and asked Johnny if he would like a drink. Johnny declined. This time he got a look of the omega's sharp and handsome face. He thought he might have seen him before, perhaps on a magazine or billboard. Junmyeon noticed that Johnny was staring. As the omega left, he said, "My husband." He did not share the omega's name. Johnny responded with, "He's very charming."

Another man came through the same door. He had a delicate appearance, but there was a certain gravity about him and Johnny could immediately tell he was not an omega. At the same time he did not strike Johnny as an alpha, but this impression changed when the other men bowed to him.

"Lee Taemin, this is John Seo, who will do the training today."

Johnny and Taemin bowed to each other. Taemin did not smile and he spoke to Johnny with an air of cold professionalism. "I was with Taeyong a moment ago. He will be brought out in a minute, but I wanted to speak with you first."

Johnny nerves returned to him like a punch in the gut. "Yes?"

"Tell me first - what is the main thing you would like to achieve from today's training?"

Johnny was momentarily stuck for words. "I understood the training was a requirement..."

"Well, it was a recommendation for Taeyong - but not for you. Let me put it another way. Are you hoping to begin a relationship with Taeyong?"

"No."

"No?"

"I'm in a relationship with a beta. I only wanted to help Taeyong as a friend."

"A friend?" This time it was Junmyeon who interjected. "I have to say, it's a bit unusual to train an omega as a friend."

Taemin's expression remained impossible to read. "I agree that it's not very common, but a good friend may be just what Taeyong needs right now." He paused. "These sessions are usually aimed at preparing couples for marriage, or for helping couples who are having problems. My recommendation was for Taeyong and Yuta to do the training together, but Yuta refused. He made some argument about omega training being... immoral."

"Yuta said that?"

"Yes, but I also suspect he may have been too angry and emotional at the time. Taeyong on the other hand was very positive about doing the training, which is why we have the unfortunate situation we currently have now. But just because you and Taeyong are not dating, that does not mean that you cannot benefit from these sessions. It's a little known fact that alpha traits are not inherent - they are learned. We spend a long time training when we are young, but we tend not to do it so much when we are older."

 _Just what I wanted,_ Johnny thought. _Training to become the kind of alpha he-man I've always hated._

Junmyeon's husband had returned to the room without Johnny noticing. It was impressive how he could move around so quietly. Taemin asked him to bring Taeyong out. He nodded a quick bow and went to the side door.

"I won't stay for long," Junmyeon told Johnny. "I had other plans for the weekend, but I wanted to meet Taeyong briefly."

The omega brought Taeyong out by the arm, like a prisoner being brought to trial. Taeyong was wearing a silky dark blue robe - _a luxurious prisoner at least,_ Johnny thought. He was brought to face the chairman. He did not make eye contact with Johnny.

Junmyeon smiled at him. "It's nice to see you again Taeyong. I like your hair this colour. The shade is very natural, I hope you keep it like this."

Taeyong murmured in reply.

"I'm glad that you are doing the training today. I could tell from the minute I first saw you that you are a naturally submissive omega, and beautiful too. Such beauty shouldn't go to waste. It would please me to see you married some day." He paused, meaningfully. "Lastly, a good omega shouldn't depend on a good alpha - but I believe that if an omega is good, the alpha will follow. Just focus on learning to be submissive to all alphas and you will find a partner you deserve."

Johnny bit his lip. He hadn't heard anything that ridiculous in a long time, but Taeyong just nodded.

Before he left, the chairman addressed Johnny. "You were lucky to be chosen for this. I hope you enjoy being with this omega - even if it's just for one day."

 

* * *

 

Somewhat to Johnny's discomfort, Jongdae and Chanyeol stayed for the training session. They took a spectator's view from the side. Taemin told Johnny that they had both undertaken the training themselves, and could be an additional source of wisdom.

Taeyong was made to kneel in front of Johnny, which Johnny found awkward but he tried not to think about it too much. If he could pass through this one day then the worst was over.

Taeyong kept his gaze on the floor. Taemin came over and gently lifted his chin, so that his eyes were level with Johnny's groin. "Keep your head up," he said softly. He then stepped back. "Taeyong I know you have come here to serve the sentence that was given to you by the council, but I hope you will see it as an opportunity to start a new life. You have a beautiful face and a beautiful body, and it will be fitting for you to use those gifts for beautiful things. Since I don't know that much about your relationship with Johnny, please tell me first, in one word what do you think is his strongest trait?"

Taeyong remained still, his steely gaze fixed on the fly of Johnny's pants. "His kindness," he replied.

"And Johnny, will you do the same? In one word what trait do you admire about Taeyong?"

Johnny had not expected he would be questioned on their friendship like this. He felt an unexpected shiver when Taeyong mentioned his kindness though. It was actually the very thing he wanted to hear.

"His boldness," he replied at last. "I love that he is bold."

"Those are two very unusual answers," Jongdae remarked from the side. "The alpha is kind and the omega is bold? Normally people would say that the omega is caring, and the alpha is wise."

Taemin replied calmly: "No two people will ever say the same thing. You cannot expect that all alphas and all omegas will have the same traits."

"In this case I think it's true," Chanyeol added. "Johnny seems kind, and Taeyong... well I guess one could say he is bold. I don't know if that is his best trait..."

"This is a question about their relationship - not their traits." Taemin seemed deep in thought. At last he picked up a cane and handed it to Johnny. "You need to learn how to discipline him."

"You mean hit him?"

"Yes." He turned to Taeyong. "Take your robe off."

Taeyong untied the robe and allowed it to fall off his shoulders. He folded it and passed it to Taemin. Johnny couldn't help but stare at his penis, which had been encased in a metal cage. He had been told about it, but this was the first time he had actually seen it.

Taeyong turned around and presented his naked backside to Johnny. Taemin prompted him again.

"It's an exercise for you as well as him. Through this activity he will learn to respect you."

"Respect me?" Johnny let his anger overpower his manners. "He just told you he admires me for being kind. How can I hit him?"

"But that's exactly why you have to do it. He loves you for being kind, but he will respect you for being firm. And just as you love him for being bold, you will learn to respect him for controlling himself when he's with you. This is a contradiction we have to master."

Johnny was lost for words. Taeyong quickly turned his head to make a face at him, and Taemin put a hand on his head to turn him back. "Taeyong, you shouldn't talk to him. Johnny, he was telling you to do it. But you need to make that choice for yourself."

"Maybe he's not sure what to do," Chanyeol suggested. He took the cane out of Johnny's hand. "Let me try first."

Johnny stepped back and Chanyeol took a position as if he was about to take a swing of a golf club. He made a sharp smack to the backs of Taeyong's legs. Taeyong hissed but did not move.

Johnny took back the cane and stood in the same position. He aimed for the fleshier part of the backside, and it made a soft thwacking noise as he hit.

Chanyeol shook his head. "Aim for the back of the legs. It hurts more there."

Johnny gritted his teeth and hit as he was told. He could already see red marks appearing and he didn't want to cause Tayeong unnecessary pain. He waited to be told he could stop, but each time Taemin nodded at him to go again.

"You've done well," he said at last. "This is a helpful exercise. The pain will be good for him and you need to get some practice in dominance. If I'm not mistaken you have never claimed an omega before?"

"No." After a pause he quickly added, "but I've had experience with betas."

"There is a certain level of dominance that an omega requires of you. Some alphas think that claiming an omega is simple, that your hormones do all the work, but in reality it is a union that requires cultivation through rituals such as these. And as with most things, the more you put into it, the more you get out of it. If the alpha can learn to dominate him correctly, they will both find the relationship highly satisfying. You may apply the same process to betas - in my view, it will have a similar outcome."

"Thank you," Johnny replied automatically. He felt like a student in school again. Part of his mind haze was due to the fact that his dick was fully hard, which was expected since Taeyong was kneeling completely naked in front of him. Although he tried not to look, he couldn't help but notice that Taeyong was hard too, although he was painfully constrained by the chastity device.

Finally he couldn't ignore it any longer. "Do you think you could take it off him?" He gestured to the cage, which was held together by a small padlock.

"It will be removed at the completion of his sentence. It's part of the training too."

"But it's painful for him."

"Of course, but that's why the training is effective." Taemin paused. "An alpha could still have sex with him, you know. He just won't enjoy it as much. But perhaps, instead of thinking of it as a punishment, think of how satisfied and grateful he will feel when he is released. A short term pain is always worth a long term reward."

"Yes," Johnny said, again almost automatically. The soft and gentle way Taemin spoke seemed kind of hypnotic.

 

* * *

 

To Johnny's relief, Jongdae and Chanyeol did not join in the subsequent sessions. Johnny was also relieved to hear the next part of the training was meditation, since he had always been good at meditation as a student. But sitting on the wooden floor with a naked omega in front of him presented an entirely different challenge. Taeyong's eyes were focused on Johnny, while Johnny was told to look above his head. Every so often his concentration would slip and his gaze would fall onto Taeyong's face. His cheeks were slightly pink - suggesting he might be almost in heat.

Johnny felt another stirring in his pants, which to his annoyance, were already damp and tight.

Taeyong was impressive. He kept his gaze unwavering on Johnny's uncomfortable crotch. Taemin gave him the occasional encouragement. "Taeyong, you're doing well." 

After the meditation session, Taemin said to Johnny, "You'll need to get undressed now too."

Johnny did what he was told. By now he thought Taeyong must be well aware of his arousal, but as he slid his pants down it occurred to him that he and Taeyong had never been naked together before. It was an odd thought, because he had been naked with Yuta and Doyoung many times, but never with Taeyong. He had always been so shy with them.

Fortunately, he didn't have to expose his dick at Taeyong for too long, as Taemin asked him to lie flat on his stomach. This was fine until he realised that Taeyong was going to touch him. As Taeyong positioned himself over Johnny's body, Johnny could just feel the metal cage touch the small of his back.

Taemin sat on the other side, speaking softly to Taeyong.

"Is the device on too tight? If it's painful we can fix it."

"No, it's fine."

"You seem a bit flushed, are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I took my tablets this morning."

"You might still feel a little bit flustered, they won't suppress the heat entirely. The other alphas would prefer if you didn't take suppressants but I don't see the point in suffering unnecessarily."

The instruction he gave was for Taeyong to give Johnny a massage. Johnny closed his eyes tight as Taeyong's hands touched his back, spreading oil over his shoulders.

"Work slowly and try to appreciate his body. Focus on what parts you find erotic."

Taeyong ran his fingers down to Johnny's buttocks and he almost let out a gasp.

"I know he's not your alpha, but it's good practice to show reverence to an alpha's body. There must be parts you find handsome. He has nice shoulders, right?" He paused for a moment. "Yuta has a nice figure too."

Johnny thought he could feel Taeyong become tense.

Taemin continued. "Have you been talking to Yuta?"

"Not much."

"Let him have his space. I don't know Yuta well, but I've heard he has a penchant for moments of drama and I'm guessing cutting the necklace was one of these. I'm sure he's thinking of you. If his omega is in heat, his body will be aching, even if you are separated by an ocean. The other alphas may not agree with me, but I think you and Yuta were a good match. But being a good match isn't enough. You have to look after him too."

Taeyong's hands were pushing into Johnny extra hard now, he was almost in pain.

Taemin suddenly addressed Johnny. "Does your partner do this with you sometimes, Johnny?"

Johnny mumbled in reply. Taeil sometimes stroked his head before bed, and he loved it. The happiness of being touched came from the animal part of him. But he loved to touch Taeil too, even though Taeil didn't enjoy it as much.

Taeyong massaged lower down, on his thighs and buttocks. Johnny's erection was strained and trapped under his stomach. It was leaking again, but by this stage he didn't care.

When he was told to turn over, his erection bounced lewdly. Taemin said to Taeyong, "Give him some release."

With his oil slicked hand Taeyong pumped Johnny's dick. Johnny didn't last long. He was soon whimpering as seed splashed over his front. He felt guilty for coming when Taeyong was not able to, but the release of tension made him feel much more relaxed. And in a funny way, finally facing that taboo made him feel at ease.

"Taeyong, you've done well. Take Johnny to the bath. I think you should have some time alone."

As Taeyong put his robe back on, Taemin said to him softly: "If you are having trouble tonight, please come and see me. I can give you something to help with the craving."

 

* * *

 

Taeyong and Johnny were silent on the way to the bathroom. Johnny sat on the side of the tiled bath as Taeyong turned the water on.

"Are you in heat?" Johnny asked him.

"I've been taking suppressants on and off. So yes."

"What did Taemin mean to give you?"

"That's none of your business."

"Do you like him?"

Taeyong shrugged. "A lot of omegas like him. He's not really like other alphas."

He dropped his robe and turned his back to Johnny as he stepped into the bath. Johnny caught a good view of the red marks on Taeyong's legs.

"I'm sorry," he said.

Taeyong turned around to give him a questioning look.

"I'm sorry things are so fucked up between us now."

"Yeah," Taeyong replied.

"I'm sorry I nominated as your trainer, I'm sorry I hit you, I'm sorry I'm naked in front of you."

"I can tell it's been hard for you today." Taeyong settled himself in the bath, opposite Johnny. "I think you found everything more uncomfortable than I did."

"I think so too."

Taeyong smiled, slightly. "I'm glad it's you doing the training today. At first I thought it would be awkward, but now I feel it's good to see you suffer. It's like revenge."

"Revenge?"

Taeyong looked directly into his eyes. "I still haven't forgiven you for what you did to me."


	14. Reconciliation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taeyong remembers the night Johnny left.

_Three years earlier - the night of the ball_

 

Taeyong went to the alpha dorm to see Yuta, since he was upset and that was all he could think of doing. When he asked the dorm leader to call Yuta, Yuta came out of his room looking pleased - the same excited pleasure he showed whenever he saw Taeyong clapping for him at the end of a soccer game. He was happy because he never expected to be on the receiving end of Taeyong's interest. He was usually the one to chase Taeyong and not the other way around.

"Hey, what's up? I thought you would be getting ready for the dance."

Taeyong kept his lips still. "I'm not going any more."

"Really? why not? I thought you were looking forward to it."

He could feel tears starting to build up, so he faced away and crossed his arms over his chest. He felt Yuta's soft touch on his waist.

"What's the matter? Is it Johnny?"

"Johnny... disappeared."

"Huh? Did something happen?"

"No... I mean, I don't know. He just sent me a message to say he didn't want to go any more. That was it. And I haven't seen him since."

"I haven't seen him either." Yuta stepped closer and Taeyong's head was soon full of his scent - pine trees in a forest, both familiar and thrilling.

Yuta spoke softly to him. "If you still want to go, we can go together. If you still want to."

"I thought you didn't want to go."

"Well, I didn't want to be a third wheel to you guys. But I don't really mind. Would it cheer you up if we went together?"

Taeyong turned around so that Yuta could embrace him. He shyly pushed his face into Yuta's neck, as tears wet his face. He could feel the thump of Yuta's heart and the movement of his breath. The scent became even stronger as he wrapped his arms around Taeyong's waist.

"I'm really sorry."

Yuta laughed. "What for?"

"I'm sorry I didn't ask you first."

"Wasn't Johnny the one who asked you first? You didn't know he was going to bail on you at last minute. Let's have fun together tonight."

Taeyong and Yuta arrived late to the dance, and Taeyong hoped they might be able to blend in unnoticed. But before long Ten saw them together and Taeyong had to duck away. Everyone knew that this was the night he was supposed to go out with Johnny, and everyone thought they were about to become an item. He pulled Yuta to the middle of the dance floor, and held him even closer, as though to shield himself from the curious gazes.

Yuta whispered in his ear. "Are you having a good time?"

"Yeah," Taeyong replied, almost inaudibly. The truth was, the more he danced, the sadder he felt. When Yuta touched him he felt even sadder. Somehow he could tell that Yuta knew this too.

 

* * *

 

Yuta asked Taeyong to meet him privately the week after the dance, and Taeyong felt nervous. There was something awkward about it because Yuta rarely made formal arrangements like this. But this time there was a lot for them to talk about, following the gossip from the dance, and the disappearance of Johnny.

They met outside in the garden, by the wisteria tree. Yuta took him by the hand and they walked to some bark benches to sit across from each other.

"Did you have a good time at the ball?" Yuta asked. When Taeyong shrugged, he continued: "It was a bit awkward wasn't it? Those formal events are always so boring!" He paused, looked at his hands, then took a deep breath. "Has Johnny... told you anything?"

"About why he left?"

"Yeah."

"He hasn't texted me since that night."

"I'll show you what he left for me and Doyoung." He passed Taeyong a folded note. It was written in Johnny's elegant handwriting. Taeyong could only skim read it without being overwhelmed.

Yuta said, "the gist is that he doesn't want to live with the alphas and omegas any more. Because of morality."

"Morality?"

Yuta shrugged. "You know his thing. He thinks the alphas are assholes."

"And he thinks omegas..."

"Are slaves of an unfair system."

"And this is the reason he left us."

Yuta sighed, "I'll be honest. We had a bit of a fight recently, but I didn't think it was such a big deal. It's just that lately he'd become more isolated, and um, maverick in his views."

"You saw this coming?"

"Not really. But maybe I should have." He paused to watch Taeyong with his large, almond eyes. "Are you hurt? I know you and him were close."

Taeyong looked away, embarrassed. "Not as close as I thought we were."

"Look, I think Johnny was going through some stuff. There's nothing wrong with you."

"Yeah, but..."

"I know. You feel hurt. I feel hurt too." Yuta tried to look him in the eye again, but Taeyong kept his face turned. "Can I ask you something. Answer me honestly. Did you have feelings for him?"

Taeyong didn't look back. "Well, we never got to the dating stage. So... I can't say I had a lover's feeling for him."

"But you wanted to be his lover?"

"I... I don't know."

Taeyong found this hard to say normally, but even more so because he was talking to Yuta and he knew that Yuta liked him. Why did he have to ask this so directly?

"I had feelings for Johnny," Yuta said suddenly, and this time Taeyong met his gaze. Yuta laughed. "See, it's not so hard. I can admit it."

"You had feelings for Johnny?"

"Maybe. I'm like you, I'm not sure. We were close friends, but I let him touch me and kiss me. I didn't do that with Doyoung, so maybe Johnny was special. I was confused about how I felt."

The thought of Johnny and Yuta kissing and touching each other filled Taeyong with an uncomfortable mix of emotions - jealously, disgust, maybe arousal.

"Wait, was Johnny... I mean, did Johnny not like omegas?"

"I doubt it. I mean, I was pretty sure he liked you." This time Yuta looked away awkwardly.

Taeyong cleared his throat. "But... do you have feelings for me?"

Yuta smiled warmly. "Of course, you know that. I've had a crush on you since forever."

He was glad that Yuta didn't ask him the same question, because he didn't want to think about how he felt for Yuta - he only wanted to enjoy Yuta's affection for him. It occurred to him that Yuta talking to him like this was because he cared about his feelings, and he wanted to be honest because he loved Taeyong - probably more than Johnny did. Taeyong felt his throat become tight.

Yuta pulled him up by the hand. "Come on, let's go for a walk. It's so sunny today!"

 

* * *

 

_Two months later_

 

For the first few weeks after Yuta claimed him, Taeyong formed a habit of biting the necklace, holding the pendant gently between his teeth, almost as if to check if it was real.

Having the necklace gave him a new sense of gravity, and everyone, both alphas and omegas, treated him differently. He thought that omegas were generally warmer to him, and everyone he met wanted to share advice about alphas - what to expect on their first time together, how to manage this and that. Taeyong listened to their advice, but disregarded most of it. Sure, they had all been with alphas, but none of them had been with Yuta and that experience would be uniquely his.

The comments he hated the most were the ones that expressed some kind of surprise that he had ended up as Yuta's omega.

"It's funny that you are finally claimed," his dorm leader commented. "I thought you were so independent."

"I'm still independent," Taeyong replied tersely.

"Of course. I suppose you and... Yuta were always close. It's nice to see you two together."

Not a single person mentioned Johnny, but Taeyong knew that they were all wondering, and they asked questions around it (So why Yuta?). Most people knew that Johnny had gone, and Taeyong wondered if people suspected that he was the reason. He had a feeling that Ten blamed him for it, but Ten had been fond of Johnny and he was miserable after he left. After a while he warmed up to the idea of Yuta and Taeyong being a couple, and seemed enthusiastic about the idea of going on double dates.

Yuta's full name on the pendant was inscribed in Kanji. Taeyong only recognised the characters because he knew it was Yuta's name, but it was otherwise foreign to him. He'd overheard a few snide remarks from alphas, calling him names for betraying himself to a Japanese alpha, but he enjoyed these protests because he knew it meant they were jealous of Yuta. Yuta was playing for a Korean team in Champion's League, and he was popular too. There was a lot about him to be jealous of.

That was Taeyong's most guilty thought: when he wore Yuta's necklace, he hoped that somewhere Johnny would know about it and be jealous.

 

* * *

 

A couple of weeks after they had become official, they took up Ten's idea of a double date and went to the beach. They took a walking trail by the cliffs and at one point Ten and Taeyong fell behind.

"So - do you have any advice for me?" Taeyong asked him sarcastically, suspecting that Ten would enjoy the role of being the wiser and more experienced omega, but Ten only laughed.

"No. You know Yuta better than I do. And it's actually very easy when you get down to it. The sex, I mean. Just follow your instincts. Are you waiting?"

"Yes. Two cycles."

"It will be hard, but it's more enjoyable if you wait."

Taeyong was happy to wait. Waiting meant more time to tune himself to Yuta's scent, and more time to forget Johnny. He wanted to wait until his body craved Yuta, and Yuta only.

Ten asked Taeyong to tell him about the exact moment that he and Yuta had decided to go out. Taeyong repeated the same story he told to everyone who asked that: He had been faithfully watching all Yuta's soccer games - since they were friends and Taeyong always watched his games - until Yuta developed a fancy that he would play better if Taeyong kissed him beforehand. He was sure that it worked. And then he wanted to kiss Taeyong after the game: "in celebration if we win and consolation if we lose." Before long they just kissed for the sake of kissing. They had become a couple naturally, just like that.

Ten seemed to enjoy the story, even though he must have known it wasn't the full story. He was probably wondering what had really happened on the night of the dance, when Johnny had dumped him. The key factor in them getting together was the absence of Johnny, because without Johnny it seemed obvious - even necessary - that they should go out together.

Up ahead on the cliff trail, Doyoung and Yuta had stopped to wait for them. Yuta stepped forward and put his hand out for Taeyong to take, and Taeyong suddenly remembered the teenage Yuta, who had waited for him on the mountain trail.

 

* * *

 

_Present Day_

 

In the bathhouse, Taeyong seemed to be getting weaker. After they had bathed, he looked as though he was almost ready to pass out. Johnny helped him to step out of the bath, and brought him his robe. They both changed into soft pyjamas.

"Are you okay? You look a little dizzy."

Taeyong held onto his arm. "I'm okay. We should go to dinner."

There was a casual dining hall near the bath, apparently a well frequented facility. Johnny was surprised to see a small crowd. When they arrived at the main hall, Taemin was sitting by himself on a cushion, not eating. He did not move when they approached him, but acknowledged them by looking up.

"You don't look so well, Taeyong. Go to the kitchen and get something to eat. We'll wait for you here."

Johnny sat with Taemin, and he was passed a bowl of soup. He began to sip it, looking over at the kitchen door, waiting for Taeyong to come back.

"Give him some time to eat," Taemin said. "He probably hasn't eaten all day and he needs his strength."

"Of course. I just forgot that he's not supposed to eat with us."

Taemin looked surprised. "You haven't been spending much time with omegas lately, have you?"

"No, I haven't actually."

"Doyoung has told me a little bit about you. You rejected alphas and omegas and you chose to live with a beta. And this was motivated by some sort of moral crisis?"

"That's one way of saying it I suppose."

"Doyoung also told me that you are working as a paralegal at some property law firm. Did you ever think of completing your law degree?"

"I suppose I have. I guess it's just a matter of finding the time."

"But you must only have about one semester to complete?"

"I would still need to quit my current job, and I rely on the income."

"I see." He paused and looked at Johnny thoughtfully. "If you would like to visit my office some time I would be happy to talk about you joining our firm. If you worked for us, we could support you to complete your study." Johnny was too startled to reply, but apparently Taemin did not expect him to. "We can talk about this later, of course."

Taeyong came back from the kitchen, forcing a change of subject. He was looking better and his cheeks were glowing with a pale pink.

"Did you eat well?" Taemin asked him tenderly.

Taeyong nodded. "I ate a little."

"You should focus on staying hydrated as well as keeping your strength up. An omega should never forget to take care of himself. Suffering for no cause isn't worth it - that might be the most important lesson of the training today."

He reached over and brushed Taeyong's hair, gently putting it behind his ear. Taeyong blinked slowly, resigned like a cat getting his ears scratched. Johnny was bothered by this display, and he fought the urge to reproach Taemin for touching Taeyong, and Taeyong for allowing him. But who was he to interfere? He felt guilty for just looking at Taeyong.

"Will you be okay for this evening?" Taemin asked Taeyong. He nodded in reply. "You can take a rest. I'm satisfied that you have completed the recommended training, and I think it would be good for you to spend some more time alone with Johnny."

Johnny helped Taeyong up by the hand, then stabilised him with a hand on his waist. He felt warm and trembling in Johnny's hold. There were still a few other patrons in the cafeteria. As they walked out Johnny thought he saw a familiar face. He turned to watch the face for a second and recognised the sharp features. It was the chairman's husband.

"I thought he said he was leaving for the weekend..."

"Huh, who?"

"The chairman. I just saw his husband."

"He probably left without his husband. Omegas always come here to have some time away from their alphas. In any case, the omega council meet here regularly and he's the head of that, as you know."

"I see."

"You can let go of my hand now."

"I'm sorry."

They awkwardly separated and stood a metre apart.

"Would you like me to leave you alone?" Johnny asked.

"No. We have the same room anyway. Where else would you go?"

They stood for another moment and then Taeyong started walking. Johnny followed him.

Their room was small and square, with nothing a mat in the centre. Taeyong removed his slippers and sat cross legged on a cushion. Johnny sat beside him.

"I had to stay here when I was in detention," Taeyong said. "It's actually quite peaceful." He changed his position so that he could lie down, and he rested his feet on Johnny's lap. Johnny began to rub them.

"Are you still guilty about hitting me?"

"Yes."

"Good." He smiled.

Johnny felt almost relaxed. It was nice to just rub Taeyong's feet without being observed or asked questions. But just when he thought Taeyong was dozing off, he asked: "Why doesn't Taeil wear your necklace?"

The question felt like a slap on the face. It was unsettling to hear Taeyong say Taeil's name.

"He's not an omega, why should he?"

"Did you offer it to him?"

"No. I don't want him to wear it."

"Maybe he would have liked to."

"How do you know what he would have liked?"

"I don't. I'm just saying maybe you should have asked him. You made a decision that you thought was 'moral' without asking the other person what he wanted."

Johnny let go of Taeyong's foot. "Is this about... us?"

"Of course."

"You want me to explain to you why I left?"

"It's too late for that - the reason doesn't matter to me any more. For a while it did, but then I realised that whatever the reason, the implication was the same. You didn't love me."

"I know it's not going to change anything now, but I did love you. I loved you so much I was afraid of hurting you."

"You hurt me anyway." Taeyong sat up straight and they faced each other.

"I don't mean like that. I felt like there was some kind of violence deep inside of me. I used to have a recurring dream of raping you, physically hurting you."

Taeyong stood up and then removed his shirt. As soon as he did, he tossed it aside and pulled off his shorts too. He seated himself again, completely naked, with his legs slightly parted so that Johnny could see everything.

"Are you going to rape me now?"

Johnny watched him lamely. "No."

"Even though we're alone... and I'm in heat, and your body wants it?"

"No... I'm not going to rape you." The truth came crashing down on Johnny in a devastating moment of clarity. "I would never hurt you."

"I know," Taeyong said. "But apparently it took you three years to figure that out."

Something about the vulnerability of Taeyong's nakedness made Johnny want to cry. He pathetically reached over to hold Taeyong, and Taeyong moved to allow him. His body radiated warmth and he fit comfortably into Johnny's embrace. "I'm so sorry," Johnny whispered into his shoulder. "I was young and scared and I didn't know better."

"There's no point in regretting it now." They broke apart and then lay down beside each other. Taeyong pulled the blanket up to his shoulders. "You know, if I hadn't dated Yuta I would never have become famous."

"Did you love him?"

"Not at first."

"Do you miss him?"

"That's an unfair question. Every alpha implants his pheromone into his omega's body, so I crave him. I'd do anything for him to be here right now. But that will pass." Taeyong shifted so that he was facing away, and Johnny wondered if talking about Yuta had made him uncomfortable. But then he said suddenly, "Did you know that Yuta was in love with you?"

Johnny was surprised. "No... was he?"

"He told me he confessed to you and you two fought about it."

"Oh... he propositioned sex to me. It wasn't exactly a love confession. I didn't realise he felt that way."

"Yuta was clumsy about things like that. But you and him used to sleep together, right? There could have been something in it."

Johnny remembered Yuta's emotional reactions at Ten and Doyoung's party, and their melodramatic final meeting. He felt guilty all over again.

Taeyong continued: "Because we were both hurt, we started going out almost as a favour to each other. Our relationship was not loveless, but sometimes we could be very cruel to each other."

Johnny had always avoided images of Yuta and Taeyong in the media, fearing that seeing them together would bring back painful emotions. Now, for the first time, he tried to picture them as a couple. The thought of them together made his heart pound. He was sorry he had never seen them together like that in the flesh.

As sleepiness came over them, he and Taeyong moved in close together on the mat. Taeyong lethargically pushed his hand beneath Johnny's waist band, and wrapped his fingers around Johnny's length.

"Does Taeil love it?" he murmured, half asleep.

"He, uh, puts up with it..."

Taeyong did not rub or stroke him. He simply held Johnny in his hand, as he closed his eyes and pressed his face into the pillow. Johnny did the same. Slowly, Taeyong's touch became less and less stimulating, until finally Johnny was completely soft. In this position, he fell asleep.


	15. The Omega Council

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ten and Taeyong have a serious talk, Johnny receives an unexpected gift from Taemin, and Taeil grapples with his anxieties.

_Taeyong lay back into the pillow; his arms either side of his head, fully exposing his naked torso. Johnny leaned over him, predatory like a tiger and completely naked. They kissed and merged together, twisting and writhing until they had almost formed a single body. As soon as their lips separated, Taeyong let out a soft gasp._

Taeil woke up with a groan. He rubbed his eyes until he could see the bedside clock, which flashed 2:38 in glaring green numbers. He groaned again when he felt the damp puddle on his sheets. Just one night without Johnny and he'd had a wet dream - and it was _about_ Johnny. Sort of.

He got out of bed to change his shorts and his sheets. As he was fumbling through the sheet drawer, he spotted the alpha-omega manual that Ten had given him. He had forgotten that he had hidden it in that drawer, and now took it out excitedly. Johnny didn't like him reading it, but now Johnny was not here.

Also in the drawer, hidden beneath the manual, was a magazine that contained a pictorial of Yuta and Taeyong. He had actually bought the magazine long before he met Johnny, but he now kept it hidden, since he knew they were also Johnny's friends. 

Like every nerdy gay boy, he'd been a fan of Yuta and Taeyong, and had liked to imagine being one of them, or both of them. Unlike omega celebrities like Cha Eunwoo, Taeyong was famous because of his relationship with an alpha. Whatever he did, people couldn't help but think of them having sex. That was most of the appeal.

Before he had met Johnny, Taeil had not given much thought to the ethics surrounding omegas. They were almost unreal to him, like fictional beings in a pornographic _manhwa_ : pretty, demure, always available and desperate for sex. Sometimes he fantasised about being an omega: having their beauty and sex drive, and sometimes he fantasised about sleeping with an omega: the omega willing and desperate to please him. After meeting Johnny he'd suppressed these thoughts. He appreciated that the omegas were, in fact, real people.

Why had he dreamed of Johnny fucking an omega? He shivered. Was it prophetic? Were they perhaps having sex right at this second? Taeil entertained the thought for a moment, Johnny betraying him and rekindling the love with his childhood sweetheart, this beautiful, famous omega. Somehow he couldn't believe. No, Johnny would not betray him. He was far too conscious of the morality of his actions. Taeil believed he would keep his word.

The question that troubled Taeil the most was not, is Johnny doing it? but rather, does Johnny want to do it, and is he holding back because of me? He tried not to dwell on it, and instead picked up the magazine.

He flicked it open to the page with the pictorial. In the first photo, Taeyong was wearing a shirt that slipped low to reveal his shoulder. His eyes looked abstractly to the ceiling as his lips just touched the edge of Yuta's muscular arm. Taeil's dick became hard just at the memory of the times he had jerked off with this picture. It was even more taboo now, and in a way that made it more appealing.

After staring at the photo for almost a minute, he put it back in the drawer. He was tempted to take out the manual, and read about the alpha-omega sex rituals, the omega's heats and the alpha's knot - but he had already read those before, so he put it back as well.

He decided not to put his shorts back on. He pulled off his shirt too, and looked at himself briefly in the bedroom mirror. He hated to see himself naked, but now in the dark he had the sudden compulsion. Winter winds hit against the apartment window, and the cold caused goosebumps to rise on his skin.

He returned to the bed and lay on top of it, spread out in the middle. He started to touch himself, thinking about the manual, the pictorial, Johnny crouching naked and predatory over the body of an omega... He played with himself slowly and indulgently, and when he was finished he felt like laughing. He realised that this was the first time he had masturbated since he had started living with Johnny.

 

* * *

 

After breakfast, Taeyong ventured into the courtyard to view the garden. The twisted and leafless branches of the trees glistened with frost. Taeyong was wearing his coat, but his legs felt cold. On the other side of the courtyard he saw a few omegas he knew, but no one he wanted to talk to. He preferred solitude.

Unfortunately, that solitude did not last long. He heard a voice call him from behind.

"Lee Taeyong, long time no see."

Taeyong sighed. He was not in the mood to enjoy Ten's relentless cheerfulness, but when he turned around he saw that Ten looked somewhat serious.

"Where's Doyoung?" Taeyong asked him.

"I came alone. I wanted to talk to the omega council."

"I hope Doyoung will be able to survive the day without you."

Ten smiled and shrugged. "I'll see him in the evening. How are you?"

Taeyong did not really feel like exchanging pleasantries with him. "I'm not dating Doyoung's best friend any more, so you can stop pretending to be _my_ friend."

"When have I ever pretended to be your friend? We're acquaintances at best." He paused. "But - if I _was_ your friend, I'd want to give you a word of warning. Don't be messing around with Johnny's life just because you messed it up with Yuta."

Taeyong glared at him. "First of all, Johnny's life is none of my concern. Secondly, it's easy for you to say I messed it up with Yuta. You weren't the one who had to deal with his moods, his cheating, his insecurities."

"Okay, you're right, I never had to date Yuta. But in all honesty, I hated the way you spoke to him sometimes. You could be so rude and dismissive. I always thought you were punishing him for not being Johnny."

Taeyong rolled his eyes. "So his insecurities were my fault?"

"Yes."

"You think because he's my alpha it's my job to constantly boost his ego, make him feel like a king?"

"Yes. Not because he's your alpha, but because he's the person that you love. He worshipped you, you know."

They both gazed quietly at the circle of omegas in the garden. Taeyong recognised Hansol sitting on a bench, his toddler on his knee. He only watched them to avoid looking at Ten.

Ten said at last, with a sigh, "I'm being mean to you. I'm sorry."

"Yes. You are."

"I was just thinking - you used to be the favourite omega amongst the alphas at college. Doyoung had the hots for you, he was always trying to ask you out. Do you remember when he asked you to go to that concert, and you rejected him so he took me instead?"

"I do."

"Well, what if you had said yes? Maybe he would have become your alpha."

"And you could have dated Yuta and dealt with his insecurities."

"You and Doyoung would have probably been married now..." He sighed sadly. Jongin, the chairman's husband came past, and after he was out of earshot Ten added: "And you could be in _his_ position."

Taeyong shuddered. "I'd hate to be on the omega council."

"And yet they'd much prefer someone like you to someone like me."

"Is that it? Doyoung's path to the council is blocked because of you?"

"Certainly is. Doyoung has all the credentials and if he was with some 19-year-old mild mannered Korean, they'd take him right away."

"So what's the criteria for being an omega worthy of the omega council?"

"To be anyone but me apparently!"

"But Jongin... he's still having an affair with Taemin, isn't he?"

"So I've heard. But it's not as though adultery is an issue. Even Hansol..." He nodded in the direction where Hansol was sitting with his child, and another omega who had his arm around Hansol's shoulder. " _They_ even had a kid together."

Taeyong had not heard this particular piece of gossip before, but he was not surprised. He remembered Hansol being involved with another omega when they had lived together at the house. That omega had been taken away and Hansol had married the doctor less than a year later. Taeyong had always thought there was something degrading about an omega sleeping with another omega, especially if he took the bottom position. But then again, maybe it was the next level of omega-ness and Hansol was in fact an ultra submissive god-level omega.

"It's not that I judge them," Ten continued. "I'm just frustrated. I can't help but come to the conclusion that the only acceptable omega is the one who stays quiet and doesn't make a fuss."

"I agree. Have you ever thought about staying quiet?"

"What's the point of going into politics if you stay quiet?"

"Truthfully, the point of the omega council is precisely that there is no point. If I were you, I'd give it up. Both of you. The councils are a waste of time. You won't change anything."

"You may be right," Ten said slowly, "but I can't stand being the reason that Doyoung can't fulfil his goals. I'm going to try everything I can to get the councillors on my side, and if I can't do that I have one option left - I'll disappear."

Taeyong stared at Ten for a second or two, to check if he was being serious. "You'll leave Doyoung? You've got to be out of your mind. It will kill him."

Ten sighed. "How can I marry him knowing it will hurt his career? I don't want him to resent me."

"He'll resent his career if it means losing you."

"That's why I'm going to do everything I can."

Taeyong could admit to himself that he had always been somewhat jealous of Doyoung and Ten's harmonious and amorous relationship, but he was appalled by the thought of them breaking up. He mused that if there was no hope for Doyoung and Ten, there was no hope for anybody.

"Well, you better," he said.

 

* * *

 

Johnny was hoping he could leave the facility early and get back to the city by midday. However, when he went to the cafeteria for breakfast, he bumped into Taemin, who invited him to eat together. It would have been awkward to refuse, so he collected his dish and joined him at his table.

"How was your night?" Taemin asked.

Johnny cleared his throat. "I slept very soundly."

"I don't suppose you've given any consideration as to whether you would like to join our firm?"

Johnny had not had the chance to eat a mouthful, and now he found himself putting his spoon aside as he thought about what to reply. "Well... I admit that it would be good for my career, but it seems wrong for me to accept an offer like this. I don't want to be offered a job just because I'm an alpha. With all due respect, you don't know anything about me."

Taemin gazed at him calmly. "Is that so? I know you did well in your subjects, I have a reference from Doyoung, and based on the conversations we've had so far I can tell you have a natural sense for justice. What else do I need to consider in an employee?" He paused. "But I do understand your reservations. You may have more time to think it over."

Johnny thanked him, then focused on his breakfast. A short while later Taemin interrupted him with another question.

"I hope you don't mind me asking, but was there any romantic feelings between you and Taeyong?"

"Um, we never dated, if that's what you mean. We almost did. We were just close friends. I was attracted to him."

"Were jealous that he went out with Yuta?" He added, "If this is nosy, please ignore me."

"They started going out after I left. I didn't want to date Taeyong because I was worried he'd give up his career for me. I wanted him to be successful, and being with Yuta helped him become more famous."

"One might say fame was a poisoned chalice for that couple. But I see what you mean. The traditional alpha-omega relationship is not for everyone."

Johnny blinked. "I've never heard an alpha say that before."

Taemin smiled, sort of enigmatically. Johnny noticed that he did not smile very often. "You don't spend much time around the alphas though. You chose to give up their society."

"I chose to give up their society precisely because they are not very open to differences."

"You are right about that. I'm not much of a traditional alpha myself, and a lot of alphas see me as an aberration. They tolerate me because I've been successful with my firm and I'm good at training programs like this one. I suppose they noticed that omegas tend to listen to me well." He paused. "I admit there was a time I wanted to leave. Like you, I disliked alphas. The reason I stayed, in the end, was because I love omegas."

Johnny couldn't help but think there was something fetishistic about an alpha saying they loved omegas. "Why do you love them?"

"Since you've been living as a beta you've probably noticed - there's not much special about alphas, don't you agree? I mean, compared to betas. More sexually virile maybe, but that's it. Even the stuff about mental performance is mostly imagined. Alphas excel in their exams and careers because they have been raised to believe they have superior intellect and it's mainly the belief that drives them to excel. Most alpha traits, as you know, are trained."

"And omegas?"

"Omegas are _actually_ special, biologically speaking. They have both male and female attributes. But alphas are just pumped up males." He left Johnny to silently contemplate this, before he added, "Just so you don't think I'm being sanctimonious - I do like having sex with omegas. But that doesn't mean I can't respect them as people. My husband and I have a good understanding between us. I know saying that makes me sound like a shameless adulterer, but it's true."

Johnny was embarrassed to hear Taemin so casually admit the rumours, so he didn't reply. He had just about finished eating, so he thought it would be a good time to excuse himself.

"Are you in a rush?" Taemin asked him, and Johnny felt embarrassed again.

"Ah, not really. I just thought I should make my way back to the city before it got too late."

"It's still morning. You might like to have a walk around the mountain trails. This is a very pleasant area."

Johnny agreed that the scenery was nice: it reminded him of his high school days. Behind the mountains, the city was only an hour away and yet it felt like he was in another country.

Before he left, Taemin retrieved a package from his bag. "After meeting you yesterday it occurred to me that you might be interested in this book." The book was in a paper bag. He passed it over and Johnny peered inside to read the cover.

_The Omega's Journal._

"This book was blacklisted!" Johnny said, not even bothering to hide his surprise.

Taemin's manner suddenly became serious. "That's why I'd appreciate it if you kept it discreet. Read it and then return it to me as soon as possible."

 

* * *

 

Taeyong was interrupted once more as he was packing up his belongings in his room. He rolled his eyes when Ten came in unannounced.

"Why are you following me?"

"I'm not. I was hoping to bump into Johnny."

"I think he went out already. How did you go persuading the councillors?"

"The omega council?" Ten shrugged. "You were right, there's no point to them. It's the alphas that I really need to convince."

"How will you do that?"

"I have no idea."

Taeyong turned his back and continued to fold his sheet, hoping that Ten would leave him alone. Ten started to follow him.

"Is it true they made you wear a cock cage?" he asked in a whisper.

Taeyong glared at him. "Get lost."

"It is true!"

"It was Kim Jongdae's idea. I hate him."

Ten smiled. "Can I see it?"

"Of course not."

"Why did they give you one?"

"Punishment. I told Yuta I cheated on him, but it wasn't true. I was just trying to make him angry, and now I'm being punished for being promiscuous."

"You idiot... you got the punishment without enjoying the crime! But seriously, I want one too."

"Johnny said it was _medieval._ "

Ten sighed, wistfully. "Typical Johnny." He stood silently, watching Taeyong pack for a minute before he asked, "Are you over him now?"

Taeyong did not get to answer, because Johnny tapped on the door. Ten greeted him warmly.

"Ten! I didn't expect to see you here. I was just on my way home, actually."

"Me too," Ten replied. "Would you like to go together?"

They turned to Taeyong, who kept his head lowered. "I think I might stay a little longer actually. Go without me." Neither Ten nor Johnny objected to this, and Johnny quickly picked up his bag, before giving Taeyong an awkward half bow. They mutually understood that they had both seen too much of each other over the past day.

Taeyong took his time slowly folding the sheets after they left. It was only a while later that he noticed there was a package that Johnny must have left in the room by accident. It was a book inside a paper bag. He thought that Johnny would already be on the bus, so he put it inside his own bag.

 

* * *

 

When Johnny returned to the apartment, he could smell cooking before he opened the door. He discovered Taeil in the kitchen, fussing around a pot on the stove. He had two utensils in his hand, a spoon and a knife which he was holding up clumsily as he poured spice into the pot with his other hand. Taeil didn't cook very often and when he did he always made a mess.

It took a moment for Taeil to notice him. When he saw Johnny he smiled sheepishly.

"You're back! Please take a seat, dinner will be ready in a minute."

"I'm sorry I'm so late. The traffic was crazy on the way back."

The kitchen table was covered in Taeil's books and bits of paper relating to his computing course. Taeil had told him to sit, but he packed the books away in stead. When the table was clear, Taeil placed the pot on the table and they sat down to eat.

"How was your weekend?" Johnny asked him.

"Pretty boring. I got some study done. How was yours?"

"Well, I wouldn't say it was boring. But I wouldn't say it was fun either. It was strange."

"How's Taeyong?"

"Okay, I think. I mean, he was mad at me, but I guess that's understandable."

"So are you going back to be friends with them again? The alphas too?"

"It's funny you should mention that. I met Doyoung's boss and he offered me a job at their firm. He said he could support me to finish my law degree."

Taeil put his hands together. "That's great!" His smile fell when Johnny did not smile back.

"I haven't actually decided whether I want to take the offer."

"Why wouldn't you? It seems like the perfect solution. You get a new job and you get to finish your degree."

"But it's a firm run by alphas, and I'd be working for a guy who made me hit a naked omega with a cane."

"Oh." Taeil held his spoon in mid air as he stared at Johnny. "So that's what you did on your weekend."

"That's what's called omega training."

"Somehow I imagined you sitting in a classroom. So there was nudity involved?"

Johnny put his spoon down. He suddenly didn't feel like eating. "There was a fair amount of nudity."

Taeil stared thoughtfully into space. Johnny wished he could guess what his boyfriend was thinking.

"Taeil... I told you. I wasn't going to have sex with him, and I didn't."

As soon as he said it, Johnny felt a twist in his chest, since he remembered how he had come after Taeyong's massage. But that had not been his fault. They had both been following the instruction of Taemin, that strange alpha. He felt another surge of anger and distrust towards Taemin.

Taeil smiled suddenly. "Oh, I honestly didn't think you would. I was just thinking about Taeyong. I mean, was he alright after you hit him?"

"Um, he seemed to be. Or at least he said he was."

Taeil talking about Taeyong stirred up a similar feeling to Taeyong talking about Taeil; it tore down the fabric separating his two worlds when they spoke about each other. He wished they could change the topic.

Taeil continued. "I got the impression that he's quite lonely. He seemed to like doing my logic puzzle and I wondered if I should send him some more. Would that be appropriate?"

Johnny was surprised by the question. "Sure, why not?"

"I thought it might seem a little forward of me. Like, he might think I was annoying."

Johnny couldn't answer whether Taeyong would find it annoying or not. He had always been a lone wolf, so maybe he wasn't interested in making new friends. The thought of Taeyong and Taeil becoming friends was honestly quite strange to him.

"I'm sure it would be fine if you messaged him."

Johnny was tired, so he took a shower after dinner. After he had washed his hair, he was surprised by the sound of the bathroom door being opened. He half expected Taeil to brush his teeth and leave, but he undressed and joined Johnny in the small shower. There was just enough room for him to fit against Johnny's back.

Taeil kissed his back playfully, and Johnny's dick began to stir. Taeil took hold of it from behind with his hands and played with him until he was hard. Johnny pressed both hands against the tiled wall as Taeil rubbed him.

"I'm feeling a bit horny," he admitted shyly into Johnny's back. "I guess I missed you."

The thought of Taeil missing him, cooking for him and now surprising him with sex was a little overwhelming. Johnny felt undeserving of such generosity.

He felt even more tired after he came. He looked forward to cuddling Taeil in bed. He changed quickly and lay next to Taeil who was reading before he went to sleep. Just being by his side was comforting.

Taeil eventually put the book away. "I can barely concentrate with you here," he said with a chuckle. He slipped down and kissed Johnny on the lips then slid his hand underneath Johnny's shirt and traced his abdomen.

"You're still horny?" Johnny asked, and he then realised that Taeil had not come yet.

"You're not."

"I'm just really tired. Maybe tomorrow night?"

Taeil kissed his cheek and hair. "Of course. Just go to sleep."

After Taeil turned off the lamp, Johnny thought about all times Taeil had given in to his lustful pleading when he wasn't really in the mood and he suddenly realised how unjust he had been. He considered asking Taeil if he was still up for it, but when he turned to touch him he was fast asleep.


	16. The Lonely House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taeyong remembers the ups and downs of his relationship with Yuta, and receives a visit from Taeil.

_I have your book at my house. I guess you don't want to travel this far to pick it up... perhaps I could post it to you?_

Johnny received the message from Taeyong on Tuesday morning, when he was almost out the door to work. He couldn't believe his own carelessness - he had been wanting to read _The Omega's Journal_ for years, and as soon as got possession of it, he lost it. He was half grateful to hear that Taeyong had kept it safe for him, but also unsure how to feel about the tone of his message. Sure, they had made some amends, but it still felt too awkward to visit him in his house. And it was a long way away and he didn't have much time to travel after work. What if he got there too late and he had to stay the night?

He stood by the front door of the apartment, frowning at the message until Taeil touched his arm.

"I forgot to tell you," he said, "I'm going to a networking event tonight. You know I hate going to them, but this one's for programmers so it could be interesting for me."

"That's great."

"It's in Haeundae, so I could be out pretty late."

Johnny looked down at the message, then back at Taeil. "Taeyong lives in Haeundae..."

"Hmm?"

"Taeyong has a book that I accidentally left behind. He suggested posting it, but maybe if you are nearby you could pick it up?"

Taeil smiled warmly. "Sure. Just send me the details."

 

* * *

 

Taeyong sat on his armchair, his legs crossed beneath him with the Omega's Journal open on his lap. He had fallen asleep while reading it, and now he was awake just in time to watch the sun setting over the marina.

He gazed at the large window and sparkling yellow lights, blinking slowly and then turned back to the book. It read more like a sensational novel than a work of non-fiction. It was the first-person account of an omega married at a young age to someone older. He is initially swept up in love, but becomes disenchanted. Eventually his alpha grew tired of him, and started an affair with another omega. Up until this point Taeyong felt some sympathy with the protagonist. In the next part the protagonist also begins having an affair and then Taeyong started to fall asleep. The story became too much like a soap opera.

He vaguely remembered that this was a book Johnny had talked about a long time ago. It had been blacklisted but he had wanted to read it. Taeyong wasn't sure why such a book would have been blacklisted. It wasn't much worse than any scandalous paperback romance. Perhaps it was scandalous because of how much the omega protagonist criticised his alpha husband.

Taeyong continued reading the book because there was nothing else for him to do. He was waiting for Taeil to come, since Johnny had replied to explain that Taeil would come for the book. He thought he might as well finish it.

 

* * *

 

Like the omega in the book, Taeyong had once fantasized about married life. In his fantasies he had pictured preparing dinner every night for an alpha that worked in a respectable job (an alpha who looked a lot like Johnny). When he started dating Yuta, he had to change the picture.

There was a brief time when Yuta lived in his own apartment, before Taeyong had graduated. He came one afternoon after class, and arrived just as Yuta was coming home from training. He didn't tell Yuta he was coming because he wanted it to be a surprise.

Yuta smiled wide when he saw him. "This is a nice sight to come home to!"

"I finished early today, so I thought I'd come see you. I hope you weren't busy."

"Not at all, come inside. I'm sorry it's messy though."

The place was messy, because Yuta was messy and everything about the place was like Yuta. Taeyong turned around slowly to soak up his surroundings.

"I'm going to have a quick shower," Yuta told him.

"Why? I want to smell you." He childishly held his arms out for Yuta to hug him.

Yuta chuckled. "I only smell like dirt and grass right now, let me freshen up."

Taeyong let him go and then stood alone in Yuta's room. The scent of Yuta was so strong, it made him feel on edge, like an electric jolt had been shot through from his feet. His nipples were stiff and swollen and his white shirt suddenly felt too tight. He absent-mindedly began to pick up and sort things in the room, like Yuta's stray clothes and books. The growing ache between his legs reminded him that his heat would start soon, if it hadn't already. Only one more heat and then Yuta would claim him...

Yuta came back quickly, wearing a t-shirt and boxers, and towelling his hair. Taeyong went over to hug him again, this time going down on his knees to push his face into Yuta's groin. The frenzy in his mind calmed down, but the ache grew.

Yuta touched his face, then pulled him up by the hand. "Baby, you're so flushed. It's that time, right?"

"Yeah..."

"Does being with me make you feel better or worse?"

"So much better."

He leaned into Yuta's face, and touched his lips. Kissing Yuta was so easy, since they were almost the same height, and Yuta knew just how to excite him with his tongue and teeth, and then how to turn it down again. The familiar bump of Yuta's hardness brushed against his leg, but this time it was only covered by a thin layer of cloth. He wanted to touch it.

He was surprised by how his hand trembled as he pushed it under Yuta's waistband. The flesh was so warm to touch and he could feel it stirring in his grasp.

Yuta became restless, and he wriggled away so he could undress himself. He carelessly tossed his t-shirt aside, then flicked off the shorts. "It's more comfortable without clothes," he admitted, almost shyly. "It can make a lot of mess."

Taeyong thought that most people became smaller when they were naked, but Yuta seemed to become a bigger, stronger presence. He moved his pale and athletic body to the edge of his mattress, reclined and spread his legs to frame his large and aggressively hard dick. Taeyong moved down close to him, but he became frozen by fear. He didn't know what to do with it. He wasn't sure how to fit it into his mouth, or where to put his hands, and all the while Yuta was watching him like a spectator to a peep show.

Then he kissed and licked and rubbed, with no real idea of what to do, just soaking up the scent that calmed him. At last Yuta said, "This is weird."

Taeyong pulled back immediately. "Why?"

"I mean, it's just weird to see you sucking my dick. It's like I never imagined this would actually happen. You still seem... too good for me."

Taeyong blushed at those words. "I don't even know what I'm doing."

Yuta smiled. "It's fine... you're doing fine."

 

* * *

 

When Taeyong first saw the apartment in Haeundae, he knew it was his dream home. Ten and Doyoung had come to look at it too, and Ten was critical of the open plan layout ("You should have a separate room for the kitchen!") but that had not bothered Taeyong. This style was more modern, and it was exciting living in a modern place. He had already endured the traditional life with the house in mountains.

He mainly liked the view. The large windows had a view of the marina and cityscape, and at night time it was like magic. Even now, he put the Omega's Journal aside and walked over to the window to look out. He stood there for a few moments before he went to the kitchen to start making some dinner.

He wasn't sure whether Taeil would want to eat with him, since Johnny mentioned he had an event to go to, but he thought he might as well make something, just to pass the time.

When he first moved into the place he had been excited about the prospect of home-making, cleaning and decorating things as he liked. Yuta was not particularly interested in any of it, and allowed Taeyong to do whatever he wanted. Taeyong had always been fond of cooking, but he found it hard to come up with dishes that pleased Yuta. Yuta's only requirement was that the food should be "healthy" and he did not usually comment on taste.

Until one night he did say something. It had been about three weeks since they had moved in together and Taeyong had recreated one of the classic dishes he had learned as a teenager. He sat across from Yuta on a cushion in the main room.

"This is really nice," Yuta said as he stirred his bowl. He suddenly lifted the spoon towards Taeyong. "You should try some."

"I will..." Taeyong said slowly. "Later, of course."

"Why not now?" He put the spoon down when Taeyong refused it. "You know I don't care if you eat in front of me."

Taeyong folded his arms. "I care."

"Why? It's such a dumb and arbitrary rule. Who the hell came up with it anyway?"

"Eating in front of an alpha makes me feel uncomfortable."

"Right. Sorry." Yuta stirred his soup, but he seemed to be in a bad mood now. "I just don't like to eat alone. Let's invite Doyoung and Ten over one night, can we?"

"Of course. Let's do that."

"And you know Taeyong... you do sometimes eat in front of me..."

Taeyong's cheeks burned with humiliation, and he felt tempted to get up and walk back to the kitchen. "Sex doesn't count," he said.

"But this does?"

"Yes..." Taeyong was embarrassed by the question. What he really wanted to say was that he thought Yuta should observe the ceremonies that conveyed his special status as an omega. He didn't want Yuta to regard him like 'any other guy' because he wasn't. Personally, he had never liked eating in front of the alphas, even when he was young, because he didn't want to reveal his humanness. He wanted to be god-like, and in his mind the perfect omega was the one who transcended human needs.

"You know Johnny really used to criticise all this stuff too..."

Now Yuta had committed the cardinal sin. "You're not Johnny," he said simply and then the conversation was over.

 

* * *

 

As Yuta became more popular, Taeyong's visibility increased too. There were soon articles about "the pretty omega" in the crowd at soccer games. Soon Taeyong was getting more calls for work, and he was given his own manager. The couple work he did with Yuta was extremely popular too, but Taeyong never felt that his fame was derivative. They were complementary. They were also the nation's very first celebrity alpha-omega couple, and it gave people an insight to what these relationships were like. Even though Yuta had never been particularly popular with the alpha council, as a couple they were given kudos for increasing the brand of alphas and omegas in general.

About a year into the relationship, Taeyong's manager floated the idea of them getting married.

"Have you considered it?" she asked. "The wedding would be a huge publicity event."

Taeyong was inclined to immediately say no, but instead he said, "Our weddings tend to be a bit different. There's a lot of weird ceremonial stuff. There's a bit where the omega kneels on the floor and says some lines about giving up his body... it comes across a bit weird to betas I think."

"But it's interesting."

Taeyong thought about kneeling in front of Yuta and offering up his body in servitude, in front of a small, selective crowd with no media in the room. Getting married for publicity was actually rather repulsive.

"What's the difference between being married and being claimed?"

"Not that much really," Taeyong said. "I don't think me and Yuta will get married."

 

* * *

 

Since being in the apartment alone, Taeyong did not sleep in the bed. He had a spare futon which he rolled out onto the living room floor to sleep. He liked being able to fall asleep next to the city lights, and besides, the bedroom smelled too strongly of Yuta.

The whole place had traces of Yuta though. It was near that spot on the living room floor that Yuta had first fucked him. He remembered vividly how he could see his own reflection in the window glass, and Yuta behind him as he murmured, "you're so beautiful." That had been his first real experience of transcendence. Being knotted made him feel god-like; Yuta totally overcome by desire for _him_. He felt so powerful, and at the same time physically powerless.

He found himself staring at the window again. His arousal was stirring uncomfortably against the metal cage, and he almost smiled to himself. He had not taken any more suppressants, and it seemed like he was still in heat.

His moment of day dreaming was shattered by the sound of the door bell.

 

* * *

 

It had been a strange night for Taeil. Not strange in a bad way, but different. He had actually made a good impression at the programmers networking event, and now he was on his way to Taeyong's apartment. Having success at the event gave him a spring in his step, and he felt oddly like a new person.

He was only a little daunted by the entrance to the apartment building. He had never even set foot in such a fancy building. He pressed the buzzer and had to wait a while for a reply. Another tenant passed him and he wondered if perhaps they thought he was an intruder. Finally, Taeyong let him in.

When he stepped out of the elevator, Taeyong was waiting for him by the open door of the apartment. He wearing a loose shirt and no shoes. He felt relieved that Taeyong looked so casual, but even dressed casually he was so glamorous and Taeil felt shy again.

"You have a nice place," Taeil said, somewhat stupidly as he removed his shoes by the door.

Taeyong responded earnestly. "It is nice. It's been almost three years since I moved in, and I still like it." He invited Taeil to sit at the kitchen bench. "I made some dinner. I didn't know if you wanted to eat or not."

Taeil was actually quite hungry, and excited at the thought of trying Taeyong's cooking again. "I'd love to."

Taeyong took out a plate for him, and retrieved some side dishes from the fridge. While he had his back turned, the phone on the bench top started ringing. It was next to where Taeil was sitting, and he was close enough to read the caller's name: Yuta.

When Taeyong came back, he looked at the phone with a sigh, and rejected the call. He must have noticed that Taeil could see the caller ID, because he said, "It's nothing important. He's just calling to check up on me."

"You still talk with him?" Taeil asked. He spoke without thinking, but he hadn't intended to be nosy.

"He calls most nights just to check if I've eaten, that sort of thing."

Taeil nodded and ate a mouthful. "It's really good. Did you eat already?"

"No. I can join you." Taeyong pulled up another chair on the bench, and they ate together.

"I hope I didn't interrupt you tonight," Taeil said.

"Of course you didn't. I've just been sitting by myself, doing nothing all day." He paused. "I'm actually glad you came. It's nice to have a guest."

"Oh I have something for you too," Taeil said, and quickly picked up his satchel bag. He pulled out a paper sheet that was slightly crumbled, and he vainly attempted to flatten it out before handing it over to Taeyong. "It's some extra puzzles to work on, if you are interested."

Taeyong took the paper and frowned at it as he read over the problems. "Thanks, this is really interesting."

"Did you study mathematics at college?"

Taeyong smiled at him. "No, I did a degree in performing arts. I am sort of interested in puzzles, but I never thought about studying it."

"It's good to do them for fun too. I was actually pretty impressed that you solved the other one I gave you."

"Thanks. I've never really thought that I would be any good at logic."

Taeil continued eating happily. "Do you cook for your friends often?"

Taeyong laughed softly. "I don't really have friends." He paused. "I used to cook just for Yuta, but that was... difficult."

"Difficult?"

"Yuta had a bit of an eating disorder, or so I think. He was always very worried about his weight. He accused me of being like that too, and he was sort of right. But we always fought about food, so it was a bit stressful."

It was strange hearing Taeyong talk about his relationship with Yuta, when Taeil had always voyeuristically enjoyed them being together. He was curious to learn more, but maybe not for honourable reasons. He wondered if he should balance it out by saying something about his own relationship, but he wasn't sure what. After a moment of silence, he blurted out, "Sometimes I worry about whether Johnny and I are a good match."

Taeyong gazed at him with his ink-black eyes. He looked very curious. "What do you mean?"

"Everything is usually all right, most of the time. We usually agree on things. It's just... the fact of him being an alpha makes me feel insecure."

Taeyong nodded. "I know how you feel."

"You do?"

"Well, I dated an alpha too. And _he_ was also a celebrity."

"I guess... but you're a celebrity too."

"But I still felt insecure. And there were all the gossip sites: I had strangers talking about whether I was good enough for him. And then there were a couple of times he slept with other people..."

"Oh... I'm sorry to hear it."

"It's okay. To be honest, that wasn't the thing that bothered me. He was under a lot of pressure, and he had some troubles." He began to trail off and then he said, "The real problems started after he got injured, and he couldn't play soccer any more. It caused a complete reversal of our roles, because I was the one who still went out to work and he was mostly at home. By that time there was a lot of problems between us and I don't think I was very good at caring for him. I made him angry at me..." He stopped suddenly and then awkwardly pushed one of the side dish plates closer to Taeil. "I'm sorry for piling this on you. I guess I haven't really had the chance to talk about it."

"That's what friends are for."

Taeyong gave him a curious look. "Do you think we could be friends?"

Taeil had only meant it as a figure of speech, and now he was embarrassed that apparently Taeyong thought that friendship was not really possible between them. "I mean, well, I am a bit older than you..."

"You're older than Johnny? I didn't realise. I should call you _hyung._ "

"Johnny never does, but I guess... you can."

"Hyung." Taeyong repeated it, and Taeil shivered. He suddenly liked the sound of it. "I am only curious that you said that, because I thought you wouldn't like me."

"Really? Why? I like you quite a lot."

"I know, but you might have suspected that I came to make trouble between you and your boyfriend. I mean, we spent a weekend away together in the woods, didn't we? If I was you, I wouldn't like me."

Taeil frowned as he thought about it. Was Taeyong trying to confess something to him, that something _had_ really happened between him and Johnny on the weekend? To his surprise, it made him feel almost relieved.

"I can't really hold it against you," he said. "If Johnny realised that he loved you more than me, there'd be no point in me stopping him. I would rather just let him be happy." He paused. "This is sort of my feeling: I can't help but feel that he would be better suited to being with an omega, as an alpha."

"But Johnny isn't like a typical alpha."

"I still feel like I can't match up to him."

"I also agree that you don't match up to him, but not in the way you think. He's a college drop out with a crappy job. You are smart and you are learning to be a programmer. You are chasing a better future, while he is still running from his past." He sighed. "I used to idolise Johnny when I was younger, but he disappointed me. And in case you are wondering, there is _nothing_ between us. Not any more."

Taeil nodded. His throat felt dry, so he clumsily reached for a glass of water.

Taeyong stood up and went over to the fridge to take out a cold bottle of water. For the first time Taeil noticed there was a photograph stuck on the refrigerator. It was a photo of Yuta and Taeyong wearing matching outfits, with their arms around each other. It was a sort of casual photo, like one that might have been taken on a phone. In the magazine pictorials Yuta always appeared to be somewhat bigger than Taeyong, but in this photo Taeil could see that they were actually around the same height.

Taeyong noticed that he was studying the photo. "That photo is from our annual costume party. From a previous year. Yuta had a mask, but he took it off."

"I'm sorry for staring. I always liked your pictorials."

"That's okay. A lot of people did."

Taeyong started to put the dishes away. As he was working, Taeil watched him thoughtfully. He remembered the conversation he had overheard at his own apartment, when Taeyong had come that night. He had said that being in the apartment was physically painful.

"Is it still painful?" he asked.

Taeyong looked confused. "Huh? What is?"

"I overheard you tell Johnny that being in the apartment was painful for you. I assumed it was some kind of omega physiological thing."

Taeyong half-smiled. "Sort of. Yuta's scent stimulates me, that's pretty much it." He talked as he wiped the bench top with a cloth. "It's painful because I'm wearing a chastity device. Well, it's not so painful any more. Just uncomfortable."

"Sorry, a what?"

"A chastity device. It's a metal thing that stops me from touching myself."

"Is that... an omega thing?"

"The council are making me wear it as part of my training." He paused and looked abstractly at the empty bench. "Some omegas from the omega council put it on me, and someone on the alpha council has the key to unlock it."

Taeil unconsciously wiped his palms on his trousers. That was the most erotic thing he had ever heard, and his heart was suddenly racing. He started talking without thinking. "When I was younger I developed a talent for picking locks. It was one of my hobbies. I didn't mean to steal things, it was just like a puzzle..." He took a deep breath to stop himself from babbling. "What I mean to say, is that I could help you unlock it if it's really annoying you."

Taeyong gazed at him with his endlessly black eyes. At last, he said. "That would be really good."

"Really?"

"It's held together by a padlock. I'll show you." Taeyong walked over to the lounge area and began to unbutton his pants. Taeil could hardly believe this was happening. He cautiously came over and then crouched down in front. He studied the device, momentarily forgetting that he was actually looking at Taeyong's sex. He touched the metal rings, then looked at the place where they were joined. There was indeed an ordinary padlock.

"Do you have a paper clip?"

"Sure. In the top drawer of the kitchen cabinet."

Taeil quickly went over to find one, and came back with his hand slightly shaking. When he returned to his crouching position, he forgot about the awkwardness and became absorbed in the task. He hadn't picked a lock in a while, and it took a little while to get the hang of it. Finally he was able to make it click and the metal came loose.

He quickly stood up and then faced away as Taeyong changed back into his pants. He could feel his cheeks burning, and yet he was also reeling from exhilaration.

"That was amazing," Taeyong said softly.

When he turned around Taeyong was facing him, his eyes gazing at him intensely.

"Well, I'm glad I could be of some help."

Taeyong stepped up and kissed him on the mouth. Taeil's gasp of surprise caused his lips to part, and Taeyong kissed him more deeply. Taeil's was frozen dumb, and for a few long seconds he enjoyed the sensation of Taeyong's soft lips and his delicate scent. At last he pulled back in horror at what was happening, and he looked around for his bag.

"Oh...oh! It's really late, and I really have to catch the subway now."

Taeyong looked at the floor, his face dark. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to--- I just..."

"No, it's fine. It's just, um... I didn't notice the time. Thank you so much for dinner."

He bowed quickly and then let himself out. When he was on the subway he suddenly realised that he had forgotten about the book he was supposed to have taken back to Johnny.


	17. Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuta returns to Korea, Ten disappears and Taeil has to make a big decision.

It was almost midnight. Taeyong sat cross legged on his futon, staring at the window glass. He no longer had the annoying weight of the cage, but he felt no desire to touch himself. He kept his hands by his side.

He felt foolish for kissing Taeil, but he had been so taken by Taeil's gestures of friendship that he couldn't help himself. All that would probably be ruined now.

_The Omega's Journal_ lay beside him on the floor. Taeil had come to collect it but he had left without it. Taeyong had the sinking feeling that he wouldn't be back and he would have to post it.

His phone rang. Taeyong ignored it at first but with each ring it seemed to cry out more aggressively. He answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hello, did I wake you?"

"No. You know I stay up late. Why did you call?"

"You didn't answer me earlier."

"I had a guest. You should have left a message."

"A guest? You're right, but I wanted to talk to you."

At the sound of Yuta's voice, Taeyong automatically wrapped his other hand around his dick. It was his body's natural reaction to the sound of his alpha.

"Yes?"

"I'm in Nampo. I thought I'd stay here for a couple of nights."

"You came back to Korea?"

"Two days ago, yes."

"Are you planning to stay?"

"I think so, yes. I've been offered a new position at the club."

Taeyong wondered if Yuta would want to move back to Haeundae or somewhere else. His mind was calculating the possibilities.

After a pause, Yuta said, "I want to see you. Will you meet me in Nampo?"

"Now?"

"Tomorrow, the day after. Whenever you feel like."

"Okay. Tomorrow."

Taeyong ended the call and put his phone aside. His dick was excited by the thought of seeing Yuta but he let go of it. He picked up the _Omega's Journal_ instead. He had one chapter left.

The alpha in the book is arrogant and cruel, and he acts in cold disregard for the omega's feelings. The protagonist longs to be regarded as a human being and yet the actions of the alpha make him feel less than human.

Taeyong reflected that he had wished the opposite - to _not_ be human - but not less than, he wanted to be more than human, god-like. That was why he was angry when Yuta tried to eat with him and treat him as an equal.

Yuta was nothing like the alpha in the book, but he supposed Yuta was not a typical alpha. Sometimes Taeyong had wished that he was. Yuta was weak and yielding, always searching for Taeyong's affection and approval. Even when he cheated, he wasn't disregarding Taeyong's feelings, it was almost as though he had done it with Taeyong's feelings in mind. When Yuta confessed his affairs to Taeyong, he got angry that he didn't seem upset enough.

After his injury, Yuta became close with the physiotherapist who was helping him with his recovery. This was the only time Taeyong felt truly threatened. Yuta swore that the friendship was purely platonic, and Taeyong even believed him, but their closeness was a threat. When he said, "she is the only person I feel like I can talk to now," Taeyong felt an unbearable jealousy. His weak response, "she isn't even pretty," made Yuta even angrier.

And now Yuta was in Nampo. Where was he staying? Who was he with? Was he still bound to Taeyong by the biological chains that forced them together? Or did he want to see Taeyong for other reasons?

In a sudden moment of inspiration, he went to fetch the dismantled chastity device that Taeil had taken off. He had not yet come without it, but he no longer wanted to.

 

* * *

 

Taeil arrived home late, but Johnny had left the light on for him. When Taeil went into the bedroom, Johnny was still awake with the bedside lamp on and he sat up in bed to wait for Taeil to join him.

Taeil felt a bit shaky as he took off his clothes.

"How was it?" Johnny asked him.

"Huh?"

"The networking event. Did it go well?"

"Oh. Right." Taeil had his back turned as he fumbled with his buttons. He was taking longer than usual to undo them. "It was good actually. I made some contacts and we spent a long time discussing an idea we had for an app."

"That's great." Johnny yawned.

Taeil climbed into bed without looking at him. He tried to face the other way. The feeling of Taeyong's lips was still so fresh and in his mind he imagined his face must have some mark of the act, like a lipstick stain. Which was silly because Taeyong hadn't been wearing lipstick.

Johnny rolled over and put an arm around Taeil's waist. He snuggled into his back. "Oh... you smell nice."

_His scent._ Taeil's gut churned. Johnny must be able to smell Taeyong's omega scent on his body, and eventually he would recognise it. His shoulders began to shake and before he knew it, tears were falling down his cheeks.

Johnny gently brushed his hair. "Baby, what's the matter? Why are you crying?"

"I'm so sorry. Johnny I..."

"Ssh it's okay. What's the matter?"

"I... I totally forgot about the book. I went to his house but I left in a hurry and I forgot to take it."

Johnny propped himself up on his elbow and gazed kindly at Taeil. "But why are you crying about _that?_ "

"I thought the book was important to you."

"Yes, but it's my fault I left it in the room. Taemin told me to keep it safe, but at least I know where it is now. You shouldn't feel bad about it at all. I'm surprised you're crying. I never see you cry."

Taeil chuckled softly and wiped his tears with the back of his hand. "I think I'm just tired."

Johnny went back to nuzzling into his neck. "Go to sleep and you'll feel better tomorrow."

Taeil didn't think he'd feel better any time soon. He couldn't bring himself to tell Johnny what really happened, so his words of assurance were meaningless. He lay on his back and stared at the ceiling as Johnny drifted off.

 

* * *

 

Taeyong met Yuta in a small seafood restaurant in Nampo. It took a second for Taeyong to recognise him and he had to look around the restaurant before Yuta waved him over. Yuta was sitting by himself with a hotpot, dressed casually. He had let his hair grow longer and he had tied it into a knot on his head. 

He took a seat opposite him. The hot pot smelled delicious and Taeyong couldn't help but feel relieved to see Yuta eating well. Yuta put his utensils down when Taeyong joined him, but Taeyong wanted to encourage him to keep eating.

"Thank you for coming to see me."

"How are you?"

"Quite well, actually. My treatment has been going well and I might not need another operation."

"You grew your hair long."

"Do you hate it?"

"No, it looks nice."

"Your hair looks nice too."

They were silent for a moment. Yuta said, "how are you?"

Taeyong shrugged. "Okay. I finished the training. Apart from that, I haven't done anything."

"I've brought you something. A peace token." He handed over a small bag. Taeyong didn't need to look inside, but he did anyway. It was the necklace with Yuta's name. "I fixed it."

"So?"

"I'm sorry for taking it from you. I'm sorry for reporting you to the council. I'm sorry for trying to hurt you. You were so cold to me, I thought you couldn't get hurt. I wanted to draw blood just to see if you were human. I know it was thoughtless of me."

Taeyong turned the bag upside down so that the necklace fell onto his palm. He had worn the necklace for three years and it had started to feel like a part of his body. He had always been able to calm himself down or comfort himself by the feeling of it between his teeth. When Yuta had taken it off him it really felt like he had ripped away a part of himself.

"Do you want me to wear it again?"

"It's up to you. But I'm giving it to you because there's no one else I want to give it to. It's yours, really."

Taeyong nodded. He wasn't sure if he could put it on again. Not yet.

Yuta picked up his spoon again and stirred the pot. "This dish is really delicious. It's the specialty here. If you want, I can close my eyes or turn away - and you can eat some."

Taeyong took the spoon from his hand and Yuta did as he promised. He put his hands over his eyes. It did seem really silly actually. Omegas were not supposed to eat in the presence of alphas, not just _not be seen_ to eat by them. And they were in a crowded restaurant full of people that could see him.

But he ate anyway. The broth was spicy and delicious. He put the spoon back in the pot to scoop out a piece of shellfish.

"Are you finished yet?" Yuta asked him.

Taeyong smiled. "No."

"Let me know when I can open my eyes."

"You can open them now."

Yuta put his hands down and watched Taeyong eat the shellfish. "You ate in front of me."

"So now you can see that I'm human after all."

"You are very human." He smiled sadly. "I really like seeing you eat. It's so lovely and innocent."

"I ate with Taeil last night, so I felt like I might as well eat with you now."

"Taeil? Johnny's beta?"

"Yes, but he's more like an alpha than either you or Johnny. He actually helped me. He took off the chastity device for me by picking the lock. He's a man of action."

"I agree that is useful."

Taeyong had the urge to confess his brief moment of infidelity to Yuta. "I kissed him."

"Oh? Because he helped you?"

"Because he was a friend to me." He looked away. "In any case, I put the cage back on again."

Yuta laughed in shock. "I thought it was annoying to you."

"It was annoying that the Alpha Council had the key. I put my own lock on there, so now I can give the key to whoever I want to."

"I see. Have you decided who you will give it to?"

They looked at each other for a moment in silence.

"Not yet," Taeyong replied.

 

* * *

 

"I'm glad we broke up."

They were outside the apartment, and Yuta's laughter echoed in the hallway.

"Why do you say that?" he asked.

Taeyong smiled with his face turned away from Yuta. "It just feels more exciting to invite you over if we're not together."

"But this is _my_ apartment."

"I guess that's true." They stepped inside. "You can have your bedroom back," Taeyong told him. "I haven't been sleeping in there anyway."

"Really? Did you move into the spare room?"

"No, I just sleep on the living room floor. On a futon."

Yuta stared at him disbelievingly. "Like a pet? Okay, whatever."

Taeyong helped bring in Yuta's bag. He wanted to be the one to unpack it for him, but Yuta brushed him away. "It's okay. I got it."

Taeyong wondered if they would become like housemates. He shuddered at the thought. He wasn't even sure what he wanted from Yuta. Sure, he had the necklace again, but that didn't seem important any more.

He waited in the kitchen for Yuta to finish unpacking. When Yuta came back, he said to him, "Do you think we only started going out because everyone expected us to?"

Yuta shrugged. "We liked each other, didn't we?"

"We liked Johnny more. And since he left, our only option was to be with each other."

"I know. I think that's true too. Do you still like Johnny more?"

"No." Taeyong smiled again, kind of embarrassed. "All the time I wanted to be with Johnny, but it was because he was the one I couldn't have."

"We do tend to like what we can't have."

"Meanwhile, you and I had to see the worst of each other. You saw the ugly side of me, Johnny never did."

Yuta walked over to gently touch his arm. "There's no ugly side of you, just a human side. You are imperfect like anyone. I was the one who acted ugly."

"Ugly side, human side. It was the same to me."

Yuta rubbed his arm, but he seemed too cautious to go any closer. After a moment, he said, "I missed you. Not just in the way you think either. I missed your body and your scent a lot, but I also missed your sharp comments, the way you'd laugh at me, the way we'd both make fun of Doyoung... when we would try to hide in a crowd together, to get away from photographers. When you were so tired you'd fall asleep in my arms with your clothes on."

Taeyong felt suddenly very emotional. "I've been so lonely." He lowered his head and Yuta held him in a brotherly way.

They separated. "I think I will go to sleep," Yuta said. "I have to get up early tomorrow. Have a good night." He touched Taeyong's arm. "And thank you for letting me stay here."

"Sure. It's your apartment as well."

After Yuta had gone to bed, Taeyong took out his futon and lay down. He took out the _Omega's Journal_ one last time. The story ended with the omega leaving his alpha and starting a new life. He could not go back to the alpha who had betrayed him. Taeyong put the book away.

 

* * *

 

Taeil had been sent a message with words that he couldn't believe he was reading. It was from one of the contacts he had made at the networking event two weeks ago. They had exchanged a bit of conversation since then, and now Taeil had received this all important message.

_Following on from our conversation earlier, we are organising a new start up based in Seoul and would like to offer you a fixed term contract. Ideally begin ASAP._

Taeil looked around at the stuffy law library. _I have a new job,_ he thought. I learned a new skill, I made a new contact, and now I have a new job. I can't believe I actually did it.

He enjoyed the euphoria of being offered the position for a little while longer, and didn't think about the logistics of actually accepting it. When he did finally come down from his high, he realised the weight of the choice he had to make.

The position was in Seoul. They wanted him to start as soon as possible.

When he got home, he spent some time mulling it over at the kitchen table. He hadn't eaten dinner by the time Johnny got home. When he stepped through the door, Taeil looked up at him a bit sheepishly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't get around to making any food."

"That's fine, I can heat up some leftovers. Did you eat?"

"No, but I'm not hungry."

Johnny began rummaging through the fridge. "Are you okay? Are you sick?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just had a big lunch."

Johnny pulled out some containers, then he went into the bedroom to get changed. Taeil sat at the kitchen table, impatiently waiting for Johnny to come back. When he came back, he returned to sorting out his dinner and Taeil just watched him. He was trying to pick up the nerve to talk to him about the big news he had, and it was killing him inside.

At last Johnny fixed his meal and came to the table to eat. Taeil cleared his throat.

"Do you remember how I went to that networking event two weeks ago?"

"Yeah, sure. Did you hear from one of them?"

"I've actually been in contact with someone from there, since we had a bit of back and forth about an idea we had."

"That sounds cool. What's the idea?"

Taeil hmm'ed as he tried to think of how to explain it. He actually didn't want to talk about the idea; that wasn't the important part.

Johnny's phone started to ring. He looked over at the name. "It's Doyoung," he said. "I'll call him back later. Go on."

"Oh right. So this contact; he's a developer in Seoul and he has this company he's thinking of starting for this new app..."

The phone started ringing again. "Damn, he's calling me again."

"Must be really important."

"Okay, I'll answer it. I'll tell him we're having dinner and to call back later."

Johnny stood up and took the phone to the living room. Taeil could just faintly hear his voice to Doyoung, but he didn't pay attention to what they were saying. He thought about how this interruption had bought him more time. His heart was now thumping and his ears felt hot. The wait was making him even more anxious!

Johnny came back with a frown on his face. "Doyoung's having a bit of crisis," he said. "He's asked me to come and see him."

"Really? What happened?"

"It seems like Ten has... disappeared."

"Disappeared? You mean, he's been kidnapped? he ran away?"

"I think Doyoung's exaggerating, but it seems like Ten went back home to Bangkok, and they might have had a bit of an argument."

"Oh, I see. Are you going to see him then?"

"Did you finish telling me your news?"

"Ah, no. But that's okay. I can tell you later. You better go see Doyoung if he's upset."

"Sure. I'm sorry. I'll see you in a little bit."

 

* * *

Johnny stood in Doyoung's living room as Doyoung recounted his argument with Ten. Ten had apparently decided that a drastic measure was needed to solve their deadlock with the council, and he had gone to the airport without warning.

"It's not that Ten wants to leave me - I believe he doesn't, it's just that he's always been willing to do anything for me. If he's got it into his head that I'm better off without him, then he would leave me even if it breaks his heart."

Johnny listened thoughtfully. "Ten is too clever to do that. You've worked for this relationship, he wouldn't throw that all away."

"That's what I hope."

"Have you contacted him?"

"He's still in transit. He left a message to say he would explain to me later."

"Then wait for his explanation."

Doyoung sighed and lowered his head. "I'm sorry for making you come out here like this. It's just... sometimes when I think I have everything sorted, I realise that I'm so close to having everything fall apart. I just know I'd be so lost without him. I don't even know how I could survive the day."

Johnny looked at him fondly. There was something lovable about Doyoung on the brink of meltdown. His rabbit features made him seem quite innocent.

"I really have to go. It's late and I have to get the subway."

"I'm sorry again for making you come out."

"It's fine," Johnny said, and privately he was glad that Doyoung had thought to call him.

 

* * *

 

Johnny was sleepy as he caught the subway back from Doyoung's house. He remembered that Taeil had seemed a little distracted and he hoped that he had not stayed out too long. He thought that Taeil might have already gone to sleep.

To his surprise, he found Taeil sitting on the living room sofa. He was still dressed.

"I'm sorry for being so late," he said with a sigh as he put his coat away.

"That's okay."

"Are you alright? You seemed a bit upset before."

Taeil stood up to face Johnny, but his eyes looked at Johnny's shoes. "Johnny, I have some news."

"Is this about the contact you mentioned earlier?"

"Yes, they've offered me a position in their company. They want me to start right away."

"That's wonderful... I'm proud of you." Johnny's happy reply trailed off as he noticed that Taeil did not look happy.

"The position is in Seoul," he said.

"What does that matter? We can move to Seoul. It's only a couple of hours away."

Taeil shook his head gravely. "I'm sorry Johnny. I've decided that I have to go alone."

"Alone?" He stared at Taeil for a few seconds as his head was spinning. "Are you breaking up with me?" Taeil didn't answer and Johnny felt more and more desperate. "Why? What have I done?"

"This isn't about you, it's about me. You've got stuff here - your law degree, that new position. I can't drag you away from that. But I need to figure out what I'm capable of, even if I fail." He paused. "And I can't keep living in your shadow like this anyway, always worrying you'll leave me any minute... your past has been too much for me to handle. I guess... I thought it would be easier if I did it like this..."

"Have you thought about this? I think you're being rash." Johnny was conscious he was raising his voice, but he couldn't control it. His throat was already burning.

"I've been considering this ever since the night of the networking event." He bit his lip. "It was actually ever since I went to see Taeyong."

"He told you to do this?"

"No! I mean, not really. But he kissed me."

"He what?!"

Taeil's face was turning red. "But it wasn't just that. He made me feel like... someone else. Or at least, it made me feel like I should try to become someone else."

"This is crazy," Johnny said. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. "I love you, you know I love you."

"I love you too! And I think if we are meant to be together, we will be. But I need some time first. I know this is awkward," he added, "so I'll try to pack to my things and move as quietly as possible."

"I'm going out again," Johnny said. He couldn't stand to be around while Taeil was 'packing his things.' It was late and he didn't actually think about where he should go. Perhaps a bathhouse, or even just a laundromat. He didn't wait for Taeil to ask any questions; he grabbed his wallet and coat, and stormed out the door.

 

* * *

 

Johnny caught the subway to Haeundae. He hadn't consciously thought of going there at first, but then he realised that was where the trouble had started: with Taeyong. It was the arrival of Taeyong that had made Taeil feel so threatened and insecure, and then it was Taeyong who had seduced him, manipulated him into making him leave. Somehow this was all Taeyong's fault.

The weather was wild and windy, and cold rain hit Johnny's face like a whip as he headed towards Taeyong's apartment. It was after midnight so it was possible that Taeyong would not even be awake, and Johnny would just be standing outside the building, wet and shaking, like a mad man.

But Taeyong was at home, and he let Johnny inside without any questions. Johnny's wet shoes left footprints in the foyer, but he ignored them. When he arrived at the floor, Taeyong was waiting by the open door. He was wearing a loose shirt and track pants, looking as though he was about to go to bed. His hair was fluffy and uncombed.

The sight of him like this: domestic and innocent, made Johnny feel even more hopelessly angry. He walked straight towards him.

"Why did you do it?" he said, his voice barely holding together. "Was this revenge? Because I didn't take you to some lousy dance? You wanted to ruin me?"

Taeyong stared at Johnny, stunned and frightened. Johnny was standing quite close now, almost towering over him.

There was a voice from inside. "Yongie, who is it?"

Johnny took a step back, feeling shaken. Yuta came to the door and put his arm around Taeyong's shoulder, as though to protect him. He also stared at Johnny with confusion.

"Johnny - what the hell is going on?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for some angst! (But we are near the finish, only 3 chapters to go...)


	18. The Start of Summer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johnny accepts Taeil's decision, but struggles with the consequences.

Yuta and Taeyong invited Johnny inside. He followed Yuta to sit on the lounge chair, while Taeyong asked him if he wanted some tea.

While Taeyong was making the tea, Johnny asked Yuta: "Are you two back together?"

Yuta shrugged. "I decided to come back to Korea. And this is my apartment, so at the moment Taeyong and I are just living together."

Taeyong came over, and Johnny accepted the drink humbly. He had come here in a blind rage, not really thinking about what he was going to say, and he hadn't expected to see this rather warm and inviting domestic scene with both his old friends.

Taeyong sat on the floor with his legs crossed. Johnny could tell that both he and Yuta were waiting for some explanation as to why he had come here so late and uninvited.

"Taeil broke up with me," he said at last. Neither of their expressions seemed surprised, and Johnny supposed they had already guessed.

"I'm sorry," Taeyong said softly.

"Did you put him up to it?" Johnny asked him, but as soon as he asked it he realised it sounded so silly.

Taeyong looked flustered. "No, and I didn't expect he would break up with you. When he talked about you, he sounded as though he was very eager to please you. I thought he was worried about losing you."

"But you kissed him?"

"I kissed him and he pushed me away. I thought he was a bit attracted to me, but I think he was actually very loyal to you."

"Why did Taeil break up with you?" Yuta asked Johnny. "Did he give you a reason?"

"He's been offered a new job in Seoul, and he said he didn't want to feel tied down."

"I think you should let him go. There's no point in hanging on to someone for your own selfish desires. When he's ready he'll come back to you."

Johnny still felt destroyed on the inside, but Yuta's words comforted him. Despite his failings, something about Yuta's soft voice carried a note of wisdom and experience.

Taeyong stood up again. "Johnny, would you like to stay over? We have a spare room."

Johnny nodded. "If that's no trouble. I don't think I can go home in this state."

"That's fine. I'll make the bed for you."

As Taeyong left the room, Yuta said to Johnny, "I should leave and get ready for bed too. I think Taeyong would like to go to sleep." He gestured at the floor. "He sleeps out here on a futon." Johnny must have looked confused, because Yuta rolled his eyes. "Don't look at me like that, it was his idea." 

When Taeyong came back Johnny thanked him and said goodnight. He went to the spare room, but paused by the door. He turned to Yuta, who was coming out of the bathroom. "Yuta, is it okay if I sleep with you instead?"

For a second he thought Yuta was going to scold him for being so needy, but then he agreed. "Sure, if it makes you feel better."

Johnny undressed to his underwear, and then lay down beside him. It was just like the old days, when they slept beside each other in the old house. He remembered Yuta's emotional show of declaring the end of their friendship, but it seemed almost irrelevant now, since Yuta seemed perfectly comfortable with having him around.

When the light was out, he suddenly wanted to cry. He missed the comforting feel of Taeil - and now realised that he would no longer get to sleep next to him. He shuddered with misery and Yuta reached over to hold him.

 

* * *

 

_Six months later:_

 

Shiro leaped up onto the lounge chair and Doyoung gave a startled cry.

"Can you teach him not to jump on furniture?" he called to Johnny.

Johnny came over with his phone in his hands. "Just one second." He crouched down to get a photo of Shiro licking his paws. "Okay, done."

"Now shoo!" Doyoung picked up the cat and dropped him on the floor.

"I'm surprised he likes you."

"Me too. What are all the photos for?"

"He's getting bigger, so I'm documenting his growth." He paused. "So Taeil can see him."

Doyoung shook his head. "You're still hung up on him?"

Johnny wondered why Doyoung thought he shouldn't be. "You know I said I'd wait for him. It's only been six months."

"But how long was your relationship? One year? That's like 50% of the time you were together."

Johnny was horrifed to think it had been that long. His year with Taeil now felt like a lifetime. "I have to give him at least six more months."

Doyoung cleared the coffee table for his laptop. He booted up facetime for his nightly conversation with Ten, who was still in Thailand. Johnny had been staying at Doyoung and Ten's apartment while Ten was away. He had decided that it wasn't possible for him to stay in the apartment that he shared with Taeil, so he had moved and taken Shiro. Living with Doyoung had been quite harmonious thus far. He did most of the cooking and spent his nights studying for the bar exam, so Doyoung found him agreeable (except for the cat, which he just tolerated).

Johnny heard Ten's voice from the computer, so he called, "Hi Ten!"

"Johnny's here? I should put my clothes back on." He laughed. "I'm only joking." Johnny sat next to Doyoung so that he could see him. "Thanks for looking after Doyoung for me," Ten said to him. "Please don't be too good though, or you'll replace me."

"Not a chance."

"The wedding plan is just about finished!"

"I'm excited. I take it you've given up joining the councils?"

Ten grinned. "Yes, that plan is over. But we have another plan."

Doyoung nodded, but neither he nor Ten gave Johnny any extra information. Johnny left them to continue their conversation in private.

 

* * *

 

Later, Doyoung interrupted Johnny while he was studying in his room. "When is your exam again?"

Johnny told him. "Why?"

"I'm organising a party for Kim Jungwoo, since he's finishing up this month. I'll make sure it's after the exam so you can come too."

"Thanks."

Johnny had seen Jungwoo a bit around the office, since they were both interns at the firm now. They didn't directly work together, since Jungwoo worked on cases with Doyoung, and Johnny mostly worked with Taemin.

"He'll be glad his most favourite sunbae is giving him a party."

Doyoung rolled his eyes. "He doesn't have a crush on me any more."

Johnny raised his eyebrows. "No?"

"He's moved on. Now all he talks about is Johnny this, Johnny that..."

"Oh, please."

"It's true! Isn't he always going past your desk? I can't believe you haven't noticed."

Johnny felt his cheeks burn. "Leave me alone, I have to study."

 

* * *

 

Johnny did not think he would have survived the last six months if it hadn't been for studying for the bar exam. He worked all day and studied all evening, and it left him no time to mull over things. It wasn't that he didn't think about Taeil - he was always thinking about Taeil somewhere in the back of his mind - he just didn't have the time to imagine Taeil being happy and successful without him (although deep down he knew he probably was). After the exam was over he would have a short break before he got his results, and he was dreading the emptiness. At least there was Jungwoo's party, and then the wedding... he would need to find himself things to do.

On the day of the exam, he came home and Doyoung immediately came to greet him. "Let's go out," he said. "I'll buy you dinner."

"You didn't even ask me how it went."

"I know you probably aced it."

Doyoung took him to a restaurant nearby, which was a favourite of his and Ten's (Ten's favourite place to watch you eat, as Johnny called it). It had a nice ambiance and they took a small table in the corner. It had only been a few hours since the end of the exam, but Johnny was already starting to feel himself come undone.

"It feels like I don't even care about it," he told Doyoung. "I don't care about working for my future if he's not in it. I want to feel like I'm striving for something, for someone. I want Taeil to be proud of me."

"Maybe he will be. You just need to pick yourself up and fix yourself before you become a mess. He's not going to come back to you just because you're moping around."

"Let's not talk about me any more. Are you ready for the wedding?"

Doyoung nodded. "I have a task for you actually. Yuta is preparing a speech for the reception, but I'd like you to proof read it for him. Just make sure he isn't going to say anything... embarrassing."

Johnny agreed, but privately he was looking forward to Yuta saying something embarrassing.

 

* * *

 

Two days later they held the party for Jungwoo in a function room near the office. Johnny thought it would be a good distraction, but the party just made him even more depressed. He found himself picking up a wine every time he was offered one, and soon he was starting to feel quite tipsy.

He talked to Doyoung and a few of his colleagues, but soon he felt tired of their company. Feeling emboldened by his drunkenness, he took out his phone and opened his kakao chat with Taeil.

He typed, _I finished my exam two days ago._

"Johnny-ssi!"

Johnny looked up from his phone to see that Jungwoo had come over to greet him.

"Thank you for coming to my leaving party."

Johnny smiled and looked around. Nearly everyone at the party was an alpha. "This is a party in your honour and you are the only person who is not allowed to eat or drink. That's so unfair."

"But I don't need to eat or drink. I am just enjoying the company."

"But drinking makes the company so much more enjoyable."

Jungwoo laughed. "I'm satisfied. These are my precious colleagues, and I am grateful to everyone who has helped me over my internship."

Johnny nodded. "Then you would be grateful to everyone except for me. I am the only person here who is technically junior to you." He paused. "Would you ever drink in front of me?"

"I wouldn't want to drink in front of an alpha I respected. So no."

"Why do you respect me?"

"Why not? You are a nice person, and you treat omegas kindly."

"I feel awkward about drinking in front of you, when you are not drinking, and you are _technically_ my senior."

Jungwoo laughed. "You are so funny for saying that." He paused. "But that's not to say I have never drunk in front of an alpha before." He smiled seductively. "I have been rebellious once or twice."

Johnny felt excited. "If we left the party, would you go somewhere and drink with me?"

"Perhaps..." Jungwoo thought about it. "I wouldn't go to a public place to drink. But I would if you took me to your house."

Johnny agreed immediately, without giving a thought to the sort of scandal it would cause. "Sure, let's go to my apartment."

And technically it was Doyoung's apartment, but Doyoung was at the party still and no one would be home. As Johnny approached the front of the building, he understood that he was now actually quite drunk, and he fumbled in his pockets for the access key. Jungwoo seemed so eager, and Johnny finally started to worry that he had made the wrong call.

When Jungwoo stepped inside, he looked around at the portraits on the wall with a curious smile. "This isn't your apartment... it looks like it belongs to Doyoung."

"It does, but I'm his housemate. Well, just until Ten comes back and then I'll find my own place."

"Wow, you are very good friends."

Johnny went to the fridge to find the bottle of soju he had put in there before his exam. He had some idea of drinking in celebration, but he never got around to it. He hardly felt that he had anything to celebrate. He took it out and retrieved two glasses.

"Actually, Johnny-ssi, I feel a bit shy. Would you mind turning around when I drink?"

"Sure, no problem." He turned around and turned back after a few moments, to see that Jungwoo had finished almost half the bottle. "You drank all that!"

"Did I do it wrong?"

Now Johnny started to panic. "You haven't even eaten... quickly, get some water." He felt so irresponsible, he couldn't believe he had actually led a young and naive omega to his house to get him drunk. He took some left overs out of the fridge, and encouraged Jungwoo to eat something to settle his stomach. Jungwoo thanked him, but he wouldn't eat while Johnny was present, so Johnny went into the bathroom for a few minutes to splash his face with cold water.

When Johnny came back, Jungwoo had eaten a little but he looked flushed. "I don't feel very well," he said.

Johnny touched his cheek and felt that it was burning. "You're really hot. Would you like to lie down?"

"Yes please."

Johnny thought suddenly about Doyoung coming home and seeing Jungwoo there. He'd be scandalised. "Come into my room," he told Jungwoo. "You can take my bed, and I'll leave you alone."

Jungwoo went along with him, like a rag doll. Johnny helped him onto the mattress, and pulled the blanket up to his shoulders. When he leaned over him, he realised that Jungwoo smelled amazing, and he couldn't help but hope some of the scent would linger on his pillow for later.

Johnny returned to the lounge, and napped on the sofa. He wasn't sure how long he was asleep, but he woke to the feeling of someone shaking his shoulder. "Johnny-ssi..."

He sat up and rubbed his eyes. "Jungwoo, are you okay?"

Jungwoo seemed vague and bleary eyed. Johnny reached out to touch his face, and felt that he was still warm. He moved in closer to Johnny, and held onto his shoulders, while he rubbed his face into Johnny's collar. "Help me," he mumbled.

Johnny realised that his symptoms were not from the alcohol. Jungwoo was in heat. Johnny's alpha scent on the bed must have made it stronger, and now he was rubbing and grasping against Johnny's body. Johnny went into panic.

"What do you want me to do?" he asked.

Jungwoo said, "Just lie down next to me. Being with you makes me feel better. It makes me feel calm."

Johnny was cautious, but he realised that he couldn't have Jungwoo grinding on him out here in the living room. Doyoung could come in at any second. "Okay, let's go back to the bed."

They lay down together, but Johnny left his clothes on. After a moment, he decided it would be better if he changed into something more appropriate for bed, so switched out of his dress pants into track pants. Jungwoo removed his pants too, and used the blanket to cover his legs.

"I'll stay on top of the blanket," Johnny told him.

When they lay down again, Johnny breathed in the scent and felt suddenly at peace. He felt a pleasurable pain as his dick swelled to full hardness. He turned away from Jungwoo so he wouldn't see it, and it felt heavy and intrusive between his legs. He closed his eyes and dozed off.

After having a pleasant dream, he woke up to discover that he was now turned over and rubbing himself against Jungwoo's side. He opened his eyes, and his gaze met Jungwoo's open eyes.

"Johnny-ssi, will you fuck me?" he asked.

"I'm... not sure if that would be the right thing to do."

"But you brought me back to your apartment, and gave me alcohol. I thought you wanted me. Anyway, why isn't it the right thing to do?"

"We... work together."

"No we don't. Not any more."

"You're young..."

"Only a couple of years younger than you."

"I'm..." Johnny was about to say he was spoken for, but that wasn't true. At last he said, "I've never been with an omega before. I don't know what to do."

Jungwoo touched Johnny's hardness from the outside of his pants. He massaged it, and Johnny felt wonderful. "It's so easy. I can show you what to do."

Johnny gave in. Before he knew it, he was naked and kissing Jungwoo, sliding their legs against each other, and groping body parts like curious teenagers. Johnny wasn't drunk any more, but the haze of Jungwoo's scent was just as intoxicating, if not more. He became hard and wet so easily, and he yielded to every instinct that came across his mind.

Jungwoo was endlessly eager and willing. Johnny now understood how the omega's body seemed made just for love making: he was soft and tight in all the right places. Entering his body was easy, but also enjoyable, as the muscles seemed to suck him in. Johnny's constitution was invigorated, and he even went multiple rounds.

Johnny had some experience in one night stands, that was all he had ever done before he met Taeil, and he remembered what was so addictive about them. He could unleash all his desires, and sadness, and not have to worry about the consequences.

Except, in this case, there would be consequences. He woke up the next day feeling comfortably sore, with Jungwoo still slotted between his arms and legs. He gently lifted himself from the bed, and slipped on a shirt and track pants. He wandered into the kitchen, where he found Doyoung sitting with a cup of tea, fully dressed and watching him with a suspicious eye.

"Johnny... what the fuck got into you?"

Johnny was too embarrassed to reply, so he took a cup and joined Doyoung at the table. "I slept with Jungwoo," was all he said.

"I know. I saw you two leave together, and yes, I heard your activities last night." Doyoung gave a big and dramatic sigh. "Look, Johnny. Ten doesn't agree with me on this, but I've always wanted to see you one day married to an omega, and settled within the community. But I cannot endorse you using Jungwoo as a rebound."

"It was a one night stand, mutually consensual."

"Was it? One night stands might be fine for betas, but it's a whole other case with omegas. What if he bonds to you?"

"After one time?"

"He could. And dammit, you know he has a crush on you. It just seems like you're taking advantage of him."

Johnny felt quite guilty now. He had known it was wrong - he had known from the start. 

"You're right. I don't know what got into me." He remembered the night, Jungwoo's soft and inviting body. It had been so satsfying to be with someone who was young, and wanted him without any reservation. But he didn't know how he could justify using an omega for his body. "I'll go back and talk to him."

He found Jungwoo still in his bed, but he was awake and gazing at Johnny fondly. He was wearing his undershirt, but his legs were bare, only partially covered by the sheet. Johnny sat down beside him. "About last night," Johnny began, and Jungwoo sat up to listen to him.

"Did you like it?"

"Yes... it was great. You were great."

Jungwoo snaked his arm around Johnny's waist and started playing with his waistband. "Thank you for helping me with my heat. It feels so much better to have an alpha inside of me."

Jungwoo's hand got closer and closer to Johnny's semi erect cock. 

"Are you still in heat?"

"A little."

Johnny forgot was he was supposed to say. A minute later Jungwoo was sucking his cock and it was completely gone.

 

* * *

 

Taeil sat in his small studio apartment in Seoul, and turned the envelope over in his hands a few times. It had arrived not long ago, but Taeil enjoyed opening the letter and reading it again.

It was addressed to himself, _dear Mun Taeil_ and invited him to the wedding of Ten (Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul) and Kim Doyoung. Taeil was both excited and nervous about being invited to an alpha and omega wedding, and he wondered if he would be the only beta there. But most importantly - Johnny would be there. Of course, he was going to be a groomsman, and he'd be dressed so handsomely... Taeil had butterflies in his gut at the thought of seeing him again.

Of course, he didn't know if Johnny would be happy to see him again. But he hoped so, since he had been in contact recently, occasionally sending photos of Shiro, and then just last night he wrote:

_I finished my exam two days ago._

Taeil smiled at the message. I have so much to tell you too, he thought, but he wanted to save it for later, when they met in person. He replied to the message:

_I knew you could do it. I'm so proud of you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll aim to finish this off in January. Have a happy new year everyone :)


	19. The Wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The long awaited wedding of Ten and Doyoung finally happens. Taeil makes an appearance, and Johnny discovers the true author of the omega's journal.

During the summer Busan felt so alive and it was impossible to imagine that it could ever be winter. But it had been winter when Johnny first fell in love with Taeil, and then winter again when Taeil had left him. Now winter felt like an age away.

Johnny had gone to the beach to meet Yuta and Taeyong. The three of them were sitting at the table of a beach-side café. The couple looked quite glamorous, and Johnny wondered if the people nearby could recognise them. He occasionally caught people looking in their direction.

Yuta liked to pull at Taeyong to sit in his lap, and Taeyong would sit there for a while, before wriggling away. He acted shy about Yuta's displays of affection, but he seemed to enjoy them all the same. Their interaction was so warm and familiar to Johnny. It felt like they were back at university.

"I'm going to organise a bachelor party for Doyoung," Yuta was saying. "Let's do something really embarrassing, something he'll hate."

Johnny laughed. "I'm sorry but Doyoung has enlisted me to regulate you. I have to proofread your speech too, to make sure you didn't say anything shocking."

Yuta shook his head. "You can't proofread it, It's all in here." He tapped his temple. "I am going to speak from my heart."

"Sure. I'm sure it will be good."

Taeyong stood up. "I'm going to get a drink. I'll be back in a little bit."

Yuta reached out to hold his hand and kiss it, before Taeyong walked away. Johnny watched him go with a smile.

"Things are going well between you two?"

"I think so. At least now I can say for sure that we are official again." He fished the necklace he was wearing out from inside his collar so that Johnny could see it.

"Oh, he gave _you_ a necklace to wear?" Johnny leaned in and saw that instead of a pendent, there was a key attached to the chain. "Don't tell me that's..."

"The key to his chastity device? Yes."

"Wow. That's romantic. Sort of."

"To be honest, I think things are going well. We're talking much more openly these days, and we've decided on some compromises. My compromise was that I agreed to do a training camp with him. You know, that omega training stuff..."

"You mean spanking him while he's naked and some other alpha is giving you instructions?"

Yuta laughed. "Yes... Honestly, it's weird to me but Taeyong likes it. And it did help us become closer. For example, I never realised how much freaky stuff he likes. He also still sleeps on the floor in the living room, but whatever. The training helped us realise that he likes to be submissive, so I'm adjusting to that. His compromise to me is that we eat meals together. He still won't eat in front of other alphas, just me, but that's all I wanted."

"That sounds sweet. I'm happy for you guys."

"I feel like we always used to laugh at Doyoung for studying the manual, trying to do all these rituals and stuff with Ten, but now I think about it, he had the right idea. I don't mean following he manual, because I still don't really do that, but I mean he understood that you have to actually put effort into relationships and figure things out. They don't just happen entirely by chance and instinct."

"I think so too."

"How is your relationship going?"

"With Taeil? He texted me after my exam."

Yuta leaned forward. "Are you going to get back together with Taeil? I thought you were dating some omega now."

Johnny blushed. He had taken Jungwoo out on a number of dates, following the advice of Doyoung. They had met Yuta and Taeyong briefly, but the encounter had been awkward. Johnny could tell that both Yuta and Taeyong were surprised to see Johnny with him.

"I have no idea to be honest. I am taking Jungwoo to the wedding, since it seems to be the honourable thing to do."

"Are you really into that kid? Isn't he only 18?"

"Well, 19. I took advantage of his heat, so I feel like I should at least show him some respect. Besides, he knows Doyoung, and he's excited about the wedding, and he wanted a date so..."

Yuta made a hmm sound. "Careful, Johnny. Don't go breaking some young omega's heart."

Johnny sighed. "I'm so confused right now. What if Taeil has moved on? Maybe I should just settle down with an omega."

"I can't imagine you settling down with that kid. It just doesn't seem right for you."

Taeyong came back and he sat next to Johnny. His gold necklace flashed in the sunlight, and Johnny was grateful for the opportunity to change the conversation subject. "You look beautiful today," Johnny told him earnestly.

"Thank you."

"Are you still doing photoshoots?"

"No, not any more. I've decided I don't want to go back to work. I want to stay home and just look after Yuta."

"Really?"

Taeyong adjusted his sunglasses. "No. I just wanted to see the look on your face."

They all laughed, but Johnny felt flustered. "Don't expect me to judge you for anything. I have no idea what the right thing to do is any more. If it makes you happy, maybe you should be a humble house omega."

"In all honesty, it does make me happy. But I think I might study too, learn something new. Or maybe I'll write. I can publish my own omega's journal."

"I hope you do. But I guess it won't be as scandalous as the original. Speaking of _The Omega's Journal_ , I've been thinking about who that omega was - do you have any idea?"

"It could have been anyone. So many omegas get married at a young age to an older alpha, and alphas cheat on them. I don't know anyone who has been divorced though."

"I was told the omega requested the book to be blacklisted because he decided to go back to his husband."

"I didn't expect he would, based on the ending. He had fallen in love with someone else and he wanted to leave. I think that reason might be false. Maybe he ran away and he didn't want people to find him."

"Perhaps. I suppose it's none of our business."

 

* * *

 

On the morning of the wedding, Johnny went to pick up Jungwoo from his room at the college. He felt funny coming back to the old college to meet his "date", and he had flashbacks to the times he had walked past the old omega dorm. He also felt a bit silly, wearing his formal dress suit.

Jungwoo came out, dressed similarly, and he held onto Johnny's arm excitedly. "You look amazing!" he said. "The suit matches you so well!"

Johnny felt a bit shy. "You look nice too."

He took Jungwoo to the venue in the car he had borrowed from Doyoung. He noted that so far he had taken Jungwoo to Doyoung's apartment, and now he was driving him in Doyoung's car... he felt like such a moocher. He laughed to himself as he opened the door for Jungwoo and explained why.

"One day you'll have your own apartment and car," Jungwoo replied. "You have almost got your qualification."

"I suppose that's true."

Jungwoo inspected his face in the passenger seat mirror. "This is my first time going to a wedding," he said. "It's so exciting."

Johnny had been to one alpha-omega wedding before - Hansol and Dr Shin, but he didn't remember it being much fun. Hansol had seemed so nervous and he stuttered while giving the vows, and Johnny had just felt sorry for him, being married off to that old doctor. This was going to be totally different, and he fully expected that Ten and Doyoung would go all out.

He was not disappointed. Ten had brought a Thai entourage with him, and the hall was full of beautifully dressed guests, many of whom Johnny did not recognise. Ten himself was dressed in a gold dress shirt, with a head piece and earrings. Usually the omega partner would make himself scarce at the beginning of the proceedings, but Ten was wandering around and talking to people, giving instructions with big hand movements.

When he saw Johnny he clutched his arm. "Johnny, so nice to see you again! I have to go! Doyoung is out the back, he's probably needing you right now." He moved away again before Johnny could reply.

Johnny took Jungwoo to the main hall to show him his seat. "I have to go and prepare with Doyoung."

"Sure, I'll see you later."

Johnny found both Yuta and Doyoung in the dressing room. Doyoung's omega brother was with them too, and he was trying to adjust Doyoung's suit while Doyoung was fretting about. Doyoung was dressed similarly to Ten, in gold, with ornaments.

"Where is your hanbok?" Yuta asked him teasingly. "You can't have a Thai wedding in Korea."

"I can have whatever kind of wedding I want," Doyoung snapped. He took a deep breath and then his voice softened towards Yuta. "I thought we should include some of his culture into it, as well as mine. Besides, we are an international couple and we have a lot of international guests."

"So I noticed."

"I think you look great," Johnny said.

Doyoung's brother agreed. "I'm so proud of you. I can't believe you are finally getting married. Our parents are so relieved."

Doyoung mumbled something and brushed him off.

Johnny and Yuta stood to one side to speak quietly. "Ten has so many friends from Thailand," Johnny observed out loud.

"Not just friends, and not just from Thailand. He invited many of the couples from the international alpha and omega councils. That's what he's been working on these last few months."

"Oh... the International Alpha Council?"

"If they couldn't join here, they had to go one bigger."

"They're crazy. But I'm impressed." Johnny's heart pattered with excitement.

 

* * *

 

Taeil took a deep breath as he walked into the wedding hall. He had his old suit adjusted, since he had lost some weight since his last formal party, but he was still worried the fit wasn't quite right. Furthermore the guests at the wedding were dressed so elaborately, and he was surprised to see so many bright colours and flashes of gold and silver. The wedding hall was decorated elaborately with flower wreaths, which looked cheerful and ostentatious. Taeil thought it suited Ten.

He still felt nervous. He couldn't see anyone he recognised, and he didn't like parties at the best of times. He cautiously walked over to the seats, and he noticed a young man sitting by himself. He looked up when Taeil approached, and smiled.

"Is this seat taken?" Taeil asked him.

"Oh, no," he replied cheerfully. "I've been sitting all by myself. I had a date but he left me."

"I'm sorry to hear it."

The young man laughed. "Oh, he'll be back after the ceremony. My name is Kim Jungwoo, what's your name?"

"Mun Taeil."

"Are you a friend of Ten or Doyoung?"

"Uh, I'm an acquaintance of both of them. I know them through their friend Johnny."

Jungwoo's eyes lit up. "You know Johnny?"

Taeil blushed. Jungwoo made it sound as though Johnny was someone famous. "Yes, I'm a - uh, friend of Johnny."

"Me too," Jungwoo said cheerfully. "He's actually my date today. He's one of the groomsmen, that's why he's not with me right now. He'll be back after the ceremony."

"Your date..." Taeil felt sick.

"Would you like to sit? Johnny will be here in a little bit."

Taeil's cheeks felt hot. "No! I mean, I just remembered there's someone else I was meant to meet." He bowed awkwardly and then headed out of the hall.

_Johnny was dating an omega..._ it was no one that he had met before, but that made it even more painful. He's met someone new and has moved on. Taeil couldn't bear to see him. He felt cowardly for walking out of Ten's wedding when he had been invited, but he couldn't handle the humiliation of seeing Johnny with someone else on his arm.

The crowd was getting bigger as the ceremony was about to start. Taeil pushed through them, apologising as he searched the the exit. He suddenly felt a tug on his arm.

"Taeil, is that you?"

His heart flipped. When he looked back, he saw it was Taeyong that was holding his arm. He moved awkwardly as Taeyong stepped through the crowd to somewhere where they could talk.

"Are you alright?" Taeyong asked him. "You look a bit frazzled."

Taeil laughed. "I'm totally frazzled. I can't handle big crowds and parties..."

"Right, me neither. I was going to slip backstage to talk to Johnny and Yuta. Do you want to come?"

"No! I mean, I don't know if Johnny would want to see me..."

Taeyong frowned. "I'm sure he would."

_So he could rub it in my face that he's found someone else?_ No, Taeil couldn't handle it. "I don't think I'm ready to see him again. I thought I was, but honestly, I'm not."

Taeyong nodded. "Okay, I understand. Would you like me to tell him that you came?"

"Please don't."

"Okay, if that's what you want." He stepped in closer, as someone pushed past him. "But I know Johnny would like it if you talked to him. He misses you a lot."

Taeil forced a smile. "Thanks. I'll contact him later."

 

* * *

 

The hall was now full of people. It was a dazzling sight. Johnny was feeling increasingly excited and his heart was hammering as Ten came and joined Doyoung on the stage. He didn't stop smiling the whole time, and Doyoung couldn't stop blushing. Johnny had never seen anything so wholesome. When Ten gave his vows, in both Korean and Thai, it sounded so passionate and affirming. Doyoung even gave vows in Thai as well, while Ten looked at him, beaming with pride.

Johnny enjoyed the ceremony, and even Yuta's speech after. He spoke eloquently, as he recounted stories of their lives together, even mentioning how they had been sworn enemies for a short time at college. "Nobody expected them to end up together, but they became the couple that everybody looked up to. Even I didn't expect them to last, but looking back, Doyoung really did meet his match. They were the couple that brought out the best in each other, and even in the people around them. They remained strong, even after facing hardships and opposition to their marriage, and that perseverance can only be admired."

Johnny looked over to the couple. Ten was smiling with delight at Yuta's speech, and Doyoung was looking as flustered as ever. Johnny felt a surge of emotion tighten his throat.

 

* * *

 

Johnny danced with Jungwoo for one dance, and then he disappeared into the crowd. Johnny didn't mind letting him go, since he wanted to catch up with a few other people. He found Yuta and Taeyong dancing close together, Taeyong putting his head on Yuta's shoulder. Taeyong had scarcely appeared in public since his scandal, but now people would be gossiping about him again. He was being shy, but he seemed happy.

Johnny danced with a few omegas who came up to him. He even danced with Cha Eunwoo, but that encounter was brief, and before long he had ended up with Jungwoo again.

"Did you see your friend Taeil?" he asked casually, and Johnny froze. He had never mentioned Taeil with Jungwoo, and he didn't think Jungwoo would know who Taeil was.

"Taeil is... here?" Johnny automatically looked around. He saw so many people swirling around. He couldn't imagine Taeil would be comfortable with a party like this.

"He was here earlier. I spoke to him before the ceremony."

"What did he say?"

"Nothing really. He just introduced himself. He said he knew you, and then he said he had to go somewhere. I told him he should wait with me if he wanted to see you, but he seemed to be looking for someone else."

_Fuck, fuck, fuck,_ Johnny thought, but to Jungwoo he tried to act calm. "I suppose I'll get in touch with him later."

He became distracted after that, not really listening to what Jungwoo was telling him and eventually Jungwoo grew tired of him and went somewhere else. Johnny found Taeyong again, and asked him to dance.

"Did you know Taeil was here today?" he asked him, as they moved close together.

Taeyong sighed. "I saw him, but he told me not to tell you he was here."

"Why did he come?"

"Because Ten invited him, I suppose. But when I saw him, he was leaving. He seemed like he got too anxious from all the people."

"Why didn't he want me to know he was here?"

"Maybe he's not ready to face you yet." He paused. "Give him some more time."

 

* * *

 

Johnny slept with Jungwoo one more time, but their meetings stopped not long after that. It was Jungwoo that dumped him.

"It's been really nice, Johnny... but I'm not really looking to settle down right now." He smiled coquettishly as they stood together under the big tree near the university campus. Johnny had just given him a lift back to the dormitory. "I'm still young and I just want to figure things out first."

"Sure, that's understandable."

Jungwoo kissed him goodbye and then disappeared into the building. Johnny was actually quite relieved that the affair was over, and that Jungwoo had not really been too attached to him. Johnny had not been attached. He had gone back to his old self, before he met Taeil, where sex was something merely physical for him, and also unfulfilling. 

And yet he couldn't help but feel a little stung when Jungwoo started going out with an alpha on campus about two weeks later. He wondered if his sexual performance had been disappointing. In truth, Jungwoo had done most of the work and Johnny had not been able to knot him. He felt a little inadequate just for that.

Hadn't his sex with Taeil always been poor too? Maybe Johnny just wasn't a good lover. The thought made him feel very uncomfortable. Of course, he had loved reaching orgasm with Taeil (even though not in his body, and Taeil could never come at the same time). But there had been something in it, something else. He had always felt so loved and protected with Taeil. Had Taeil felt the same way with him, or was he just exhausted and frustrated by Johnny's constant sexual urges? He couldn't help but think of all the things he would do differently if he could be with Taeil again.

 

* * *

 

As summer turned into autumn, Johnny slipped into a deep depression. He had planned to move out of Doyoung's apartment while they were on their honeymoon, and he found looking for a place to be demoralising. Should he just go for a one person studio? He ended up selling most of his stuff and moving into a small room.

He thought about how busy his life had been just before, working at KM & Associates, always staying late and all the time he missed spending with Taeil. He hated himself for it, and he hated himself for constantly thinking about Taeil.

They had spoken via messages after the wedding. Johnny had asked if Taeil would meet him in person, and Taeil replied that he wasn't quite ready to see Johnny again. "Let me know when you are," he wrote back, and pathetically waited for Taeil to message him. There was nothing but silence.

 

* * *

 

After Ten and Doyoung came back, Johnny started having a social life again. This was mostly due to Ten, who had the idea of introducing Johnny to all the omegas that he knew. Johnny would go on a date with an omega about once a week.

He mainly did it to pass the time, but also because he realised that outside of Ten and Taeyong, and recently Jungwoo, he had not interacted with many omegas. The number one rule of these dates was that he would not have sex with them, and to his surprise all the omegas seemed fine with this.

The first omega he met was a sex worker and erotic dancer named Hoseok who worked at an exclusive club for alphas. Johnny took him to the movies, and then they went bike riding. "It's really fun hanging out with an alpha, just as a friend. I don't think I've ever had an alpha friend before."

Johnny collected a few more omega friends. Jun, who was an accountant, and Mingyu, who was a barista, were others. One night he even found himself sitting across a table from Cha Eunwoo, who was peeling chestnuts for him with an affable air of disinterest. Johnny was surprised that he had won Eunwoo's confidence so easily, since he was known for being an elusive omega, who had never dated (at least to anyone's knowledge).

"Do you want to know the reason I've stayed single all these years?" he asked, flicking a chestnut shell as he talked. Johnny listened, somewhat apprehensively. "It's because I think alphas are disgusting."

Johnny felt excited by this confession, because he knew from the way he said it, that Eunwoo did not regard him as an alpha.

 

* * *

 

Before the mid autumn festival, Johnny had a rare chance to meet Taemin for non work related reasons. Taemin had remained somewhat mysterious to him while working at the firm, since at work he did not reveal very much of his personal life. On the last day before the break, Taemin invited Johnny to have dinner with him.

As soon as they were seated, Taemin began the conversation with, "I trust you have been settling into your new role?"

"Yes. It's a little more responsibility, but I can handle it."

"I forgot, I should have congratulated you on your excellent exam result. I had a feeling you would do well."

Johnny thanked him. He wondered whether Taemin had asked to meet privately just to talk about work. But soon enough, Taemin probed him with a personal question.

"Are you dating anyone right now?"

Johnny blushed. "Not really. I mean, I've been on a few dates with different omegas, but I haven't really had any intention of claiming them. I just like getting to know them as friends. I think I am learning a lot about omegas."

"What have you learned?"

"Nothing ground-breaking. They're all different. Some of them love alphas, they loved being dominated. Some of them hate it. I still haven't changed my views though. If there is diversity among omegas, that itself suggests that they shouldn't have to follow the same path."

Taemin smiled softly. "Good," he replied, as though Johnny had answered a quiz question correctly.

"I must admit," Johnny said slowly. "I am still a little puzzled by the book _The Omega's Journal_. I thought it might have all the secrets about omegas in it, but it was a just a story."

"It was the story of one particular omega."

"An unhappy omega. What bothers me though - why was the book blacklisted?"

Taemin paused, and looked thoughtfully at the ceiling, as though he was deciding how best to answer. "It was me that requested for the book to be blacklisted. Before I was on the alpha council, mind you. I asked Dr Shin to put forward the motion on my behalf."

Johnny's eyes widened. "You? Dr Shin once told me that the author himself had requested the book to be blacklisted."

"He's right. I was the author."

Johnny stared at him in confusion, but Taemin did not seemed particularly pressed to elaborate. After taking another sip of wine, he added, "I had to be discreet. You can imagine why. I wanted a clean slate, and that book contained my past. Also, rereading it makes me cringe. My writing was so bad, so sensational and sentimental! I almost didn't give it to you, but I thought you might appreciate it."

"I did appreciate it. I just didn't expect..."

"Didn't expect that I used to be an omega? Do you remember when I told you that alphas are not that special? I know because I know how I had to become one. I took some hormone therapy to suppress the heat cycles and that sort of thing. The rest was all image."

Johnny was shocked, but he was embarrassed to show his reaction. He said, "I had no idea... you could just change..."

Taemin shrugged. "Isn't it all learned? Never believe in that stuff about biological destiny. There's no such thing."

The mood shifted when Taemin carried on with his next topic. "The real reason I asked you out tonight was to float an idea for a new project, or committee I am thinking of setting up. I wanted to provide some legal protection for omegas, a way for them to potentially escape a bad marriage, or issues to do with children. Up until this time there hasn't been much attention given to this particular side of the law, since the mainstream law does not cover it. But I am working towards it on the council, and I thought you might want to join as one of the legal support."

Johnny couldn't believe he had never considered such a thing before. It seemed to solve the problem of how to be useful as an alpha. For the first time he actually felt glad that he had chosen this path.


	20. The Season for Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taeil and Johnny meet again.

Taeil dozed on the mattress of his small studio apartment, while his young lover was taking a shower in the next room. Taeil wasn't sure if it was because the boy was foreign, or just young and naive, but he had somehow mistaken Taeil for the next Steve Jobs and had taken an eager and ardent liking to him. They had met for dinner, and he had called Taeil _hyung_ , which sounded awkward from a foreigner, but Taeil enjoyed it all the same. When they got to Taeil's apartment, any illusion that he was an up-and-coming billionaire was all but squashed, and yet the young man eagerly pushed Taeil onto the mattress and unbuttoned his pants.

When Taeil had first started having "hook-ups" he would sleep with whoever wanted him, but as he became more confident he developed a type. They were tall (like Johnny), lean (like Johnny) with nice shoulders (like Johnny) and a soft face (like Johnny's).

Taeil had actually forgotten the boy's name. When he was in the shower, he opened the app to check again. It was Yukhei.

Just as he put the phone down, his guest came out of the bathroom. Taeil wondered if he was going to leave now, but he walked around the room, drying his hair with a towel (the rest of him outrageously naked). He stopped to examine Taeil's bookshelf and then took a book out from the shelf. He held it up for Taeil to see, and laughed.

It was the _Manual for the Correct Conduct for Alpha and Omega Relationships._

"Why do you have this?" he asked.

"An omega gave it to me once."

"You're friends with an omega?"

Taeil's gut fluttered at the thought he was friends with a _famous_ omega in fact. In this brief moment he could entertain the delusion of being some irresistible international playboy.

"I'm friends with a couple of omegas actually..."

Yukhei opened the manual and began reading from a page. "This stuff is so crazy," he said. "I always found it kind of hot though."

Taeil wasn't sure how much conversation he wanted to have with Yukhei. It was usually easiest when the one night stands left straight away. He wasn't used to the after sex chat. He had only just worked up the confidence to be able to sleep with people and now he had to also work on his conversation? Baby steps, Mun Taeil...

Yukhei brought the book over and then lowered himself to sit beside Taeil. "Have you ever, like, tried any of this?"

"Tried the rituals?"

"Yeah, like... the bondage? the domination? the scent marking?"

Taeil chuckled. "No, not really."

"Do you want to try it now?" Yukhei had a sparkle in his eye. Taeil felt flustered.

"What bit do you want to try?"

Yukhei put the book aside. "How about we role play? I'll be the omega, you be the alpha--"

Taeil laughed and took the book out of his hands. "Why me as the alpha?"

"Why not?" He put his head into Taeil's lap. "I'll be a slave for you."

Taeil had to admit he was turned on, but he resisted. "Maybe another time," he said and Yukhei whined in protest.

 

* * *

 

Not that there was another time. That was the whole point of hook-ups and one night stands.

For a long time, Taeil believed himself to be unqualified for sex. It was a world that belonged to the elites, the attractive people and of course, the alphas and the omegas. Being with Johnny had only made him feel more unqualified, and his lack of sexual experience and finesse followed him like a ball and chain. That was why sleeping with young men was so freeing, since they came full of energy and with no expectations. Sometimes Taeil was good for them, and sometimes he wasn't, but in the end it didn't matter, because the experience always made him better. He felt great affection for all his lovers, but he couldn't imagine having a relationship with any of them. He couldn't go into another relationship knowing that his heart belonged to someone else.

Although his communication with Johnny had dried up, he still often exchanged messages with Taeyong. This had been a habit they had picked up recently, when Taeyong had contacted him to tell him that he had decided to take a course in logic, and he would often send Taeil questions. Taeil was quite happy to help him and this had opened up lines of communication between them generally. It seemed that Taeyong was still quite eager to have Taeil as a friend, and when he wasn't talking about maths, he would sometimes give Taeil other updates about his life. He felt quite glad that he and Taeyong had kept in touch. Without that he might have lost all hope of ever finding his way back to Johnny and his world.

"I think I want to get married," he had written, one day out of the blue.

Taeil received the message while he was busy, so he only skim read it and took a moment to answer. He wasn't sure if Taeyong was trying to have a serious talk with him, but he wanted to show he was willing to listen. 

"Hmm?"

"But I don't want a wedding... or at least not a big wedding. Maybe even a small wedding with just five people."

Taeil remembered his one experience of an alpha-omega wedding with some dread. "Would I be invited?"

"Of course-- but I haven't actually planned anything yet. I just had this feeling lately that I want a family. Most of us don't have families, we're basically orphans. But the council has to give us permission to marry and I don't think they are supportive of us, since somehow they found out that Yuta and I eat meals together..."

Taeyong seemed eager to talk to Taeil, but Taeil had to put the phone down frequently, as he was getting dressed to go out. It was for a work function, but there was a guy he had been messaging that might meet him after. There was a lot on his mind, so Taeyong's messages were not really sinking in as they normally would.

Taeyong continued writing. "It's almost the end of autumn. I think autumn is a good season for love. I actually would like to get married in either autumn or winter. Have you thought about visiting us in Busan again? It would be good to see you..."

Taeil replied. "I'm a bit busy with work right now, but I'll think about it."

"Johnny has been doing really well these days..."

Taeil felt his gut seize up. Taeyong rarely mentioned Johnny explicitly, although he knew it was always somehow coded into their conversations, below the surface.

He continued: "He finished his exam, and he's happy at work. Doing some new social justice work, you know Johnny..."

Taeil felt warmed by the thought Johnny was pursuing something meaningful. It was what he had always hoped he might do. He saw that Taeyong was writing more, and he waited with bated breath. If he didn't leave in the next five minutes, he would be late to the function, but now he was fully distracted. He realised he was so terrified to hear that Johnny and settled down with an omega. He already suspected it since the wedding, but he knew the confirmation would crush him.

Unable to bear the suspense, with shaky fingers he typed to Taeyong: "Has Johnny found someone?"

"You mean a new boyfriend? Not that I'm aware of. Seems like he's becoming a monk now actually."

Taeil laughed out loud. He was so relieved.

Taeyong continued. "You know, hyung... I feel bad about what happened between you and Johnny. I think part of it was my fault, since I kind of interfered between you two... everything is going well now for me and Yuta and I wish that you could meet Johnny again. If he's still in your heart. And even if he isn't... I think he would like to see you. It's crazy, but I even thought about having a party to get you two to meet again. But I don't want to put you under pressure."

Taeil smiled as he replied. "I will think about it."

That night he cancelled his date with the man he had been messaging, and went home early. He began to look for his next opportunity to travel to Busan.

 

* * *

 

Johnny was so nervous.

He was standing in the lobby of the hotel, staring at a painting on the wall. He was wearing his nice dress pants and jacket and he was worried that he had dressed up too much. Taeil never dressed up much, so it might be awkward. But maybe Taeil _did_ dress up now. Maybe he was different. It had been about eight months since Johnny had last seen him, and he knew many things had happened during that time. Taeil's company had been quite successful and they had released their app.

Johnny didn't know why, but he couldn't shake the feeling that Taeil had been with someone else, found love somewhere else. Maybe it was an alpha instinct, and the bonds he had to Taeil told him these things. But Taeil had come to Busan, and asked to see him, so that's why he was here waiting in the hotel lobby.

He kept staring at the painting as these thoughts passed through his mind, but he couldn't calm himself down. Then suddenly he remembered something... the camera turned to face the monitor, what would it show? Like two mirrors facing each other - reflecting each other infinitely, an infinite void...

There was a ding as the elevator door opened and Taeil came out. "Hey Johnny."

Johnny turned away from the painting, startled.

"Thanks for waiting for me. I just had to send a quick email to my business partner in Seoul."

Taeil was dressed quite fashionably; not fancy, but his clothes actually looked like they fit him properly.

"You look great," Johnny told him.

"Thanks." Taeil looked down at himself shyly. "I've been getting fit actually. Although I didn't think it made any visible difference. I'm happy you noticed."

They went out to dinner at a nice European restaurant that Taeil had picked. There was low ambient lighting, and Johnny couldn't help but think it looked like the perfect location for a special date. But he wasn't trying to get his hopes up.

As they took their table, Taeil said, "I want to treat you. Since I'm your hyung."

"Hyung?" Johnny's voice came out unintentionally loud and Taeil blushed.

"I'm older than you, but you've never called me _hyung_ before."

 _That's because you've always been my lover,_ Johnny thought, but he held it in. "Our age difference is less than a year."

Taeil seemed embarrassed now. "Then indulge me. Just this once. Since I've been doing well recently I had this idea of taking you out to celebrate, and I've always wanted to try this restaurant..."

Johnny nodded. "Right, of course. Hyung." He felt guilty for making a fuss of it, so he tried to focus on enjoying the dinner and catching up with Taeil.

Taeil told him about his experiences in Seoul. He had done a lot in a relatively short time, changing company in the interim, and he told Johnny he was even thinking of starting his own company.

"How's Shiro?" he asked suddenly.

"Oh, he's fine. He eats too much, but otherwise fine."

"I've heard you've been doing some social justice work?"

"I've been working on some alpha-omega family law cases, if that's what you mean. It's been quite challenging actually."

Johnny paused as the waiter brought their food. Across from him Taeil was full of excitement as he looked at the dishes, and Johnny couldn't help but think it was such a privilege to share a meal with someone you loved. His heart twisted painfully as he looked down, then back at Taeil.

He was regretful for ruining the evening, but he thought he needed to get it off his chest. He cleared his throat. "I'm sorry Taeil, but you can't be my _hyung_. I can't be your _dongsaeng_. We can't be friends - I'm sorry but we just can't."

Taeil's face crumpled. "Why not?"

"Because I'm _in love_ with you, and I always will be, and no other kind of relationship is possible for us. If that makes this dinner awkward, I'm sorry, but it needs to be said."

"No, no!" Taeil reached out to hold Johnny's hand from across the table. "This was meant to be a date. Look at us, look at this place - we're on a date!"

Now Johnny felt foolish. "Of course... I'm sorry."

Taeil laughed and squeezed his hand.

 

* * *

 

As the night wore on things started to feel much more familiar between them, just like old times. Johnny walked Taeil back towards his hotel.

They walked slowly, their arms bumping against each other.

"Can a hyung be a lover too?" Taeil asked him shyly. "To be honest, I wasn't really expecting that you would want to get back together with me. But I thought I should take you out to at least apologise for leaving you the way I did. I didn't want to presume that you hadn't moved on from me."

"I'll tell you something funny," Johnny said. "Before you came down the elevator, I was waiting for about ten minutes or so in the lobby, and I was feeling so nervous, so you know what I did? I thought about a riddle. You know, the two cameras facing each other..."

Taeil gave a bashful smile. "Oh that. Really - you were nervous about seeing me?"

"Yes, I know it's silly, but seeing you again really means a lot to me."

"Well, to be fair I was nervous too. That's why it took me so long to come down." He chuckled softly. "It seems like you were trying to be like me, while all this time I've been trying to be like you."

"Like me, how so?"

"In Seoul I started sleeping with people." He paused here, as though he was cautious about Johnny's response. Johnny nodded and encouraged him to continue. "I always felt ashamed about not having much sexual experience. And now, well now I have experience! But I didn't feel very close to any of those people, and when it was over, that was that."

Johnny wasn't sure how to feel about the revelation that Taeil had been seeing other people. On one hand it validated his fears, but he didn't feel as hurt as he thought he would. Above all, he was curious. Had they been better than him? He felt kind of ashamed to be thinking that.

"I'm the opposite," he told Taeil. "I haven't been dating anyone, or meeting anyone for sex. I used to think I couldn't survive without it, but as time goes by it gets easier. I think it's because I have so many other things to focus on, now that work is something I actually care about."

"That's great." Taeil paused, then said, "But weren't you dating an omega? I met him at the wedding."

"Yes, Jungwoo. But that was only a couple of dates, not really a relationship."

"I see."

They were almost at the hotel, so Johnny turned to face him. "I'm sorry about what happened at the wedding. Taeyong told me that he saw you. If I'd known you were coming I would have tried to meet you."

Taeil shrugged. "It's okay."

They paused outside the hotel.

"Would you like to come inside?"

"I'd love to--" He broke off. "But I forgot, I have to feed Shiro his dinner."

Taeil nodded graciously. "Of course."

"How about you come to my place? You can see my room, and Shiro too. Of course, only if you want to."

"No, that sounds great! Just let me get my bag from the hotel room."

Johnny hadn't tidied up much, but the temptation to have Taeil's scent in his room was too strong. When they got to his place, he quickly put his clothes away, and made space for Taeil to sit on the bed with him. They sat together and watched videos and chatted. Johnny felt so relaxed by Taeil's scent so close to his body.

"It kinda feels like we're dating again," Taeil said, chuckling.

"Are we?"

"Dating?" Taeil smiled. "I suppose we might as well."

 

* * *

 

Over the next couple of months, they took frequent trips to meet each other in the two cities. Somehow the travelling and the long gaps in between made it feel more special, and whenever they met they put in the effort to go on proper dates. Still, Johnny mostly liked being alone with Taeil in his room.

This time he visited Taeil in Seoul. When they got back to Taeil's place, Johnny said, "I have a present for you." He took out a small box.

Taeil laughed. "What's this? An engagement ring?" His expression changed when he opened the box and saw what was inside. "Your necklace?"

"I'm sorry I never gave it to you before. It always had bad connotations for me, because it's meant to be for omegas. But we only get one, and giving it to you means that you're the only person I want."

"Thanks, I love it." Taeil took the necklace out and Johnny helped him put it on. "Maybe I'll get a necklace for you too!"

Johnny could just imagine what all the alphas would say if they saw him wearing a gold necklace. Some of them would faint from shock. The thought excited him.

They kissed, lying chest to chest on Taeil's bed. These days Taeil was so much more comfortable being naked with him, even with the lights on. Johnny wondered if this was the effect of the other boys he had been with. Since they had started dating again, they had not had much sex. Johnny still felt cautious about it.

"Tell me honestly," Johnny said, "sex with me was kinda bad, right?"

"Bad? What do you mean?"

Johnny sighed. "It was always about me, since I was so horny all the time. I feel like it must have been a burden for you."

"I didn't hate it. I just wasn't very confident."

"I think I should have done more to make you feel confident. I was a bad lover."

Taeil laughed. "Okay, so what are you going to do now?"

Johnny propped himself up on his elbow so he could look Taeil in the eyes. "Tell me what you want. Whatever you want, I'll do it."

Taeil lifted himself up and walked over to the bookshelf. He had a devious smile on his face. "If you say so. I want to do this." He held up a book. It was the _Manual for the Correct Conduct for Alpha and Omega Relationships._

Johnny smiled. "You want to do it traditional alpha-omega style?"

"Why not? We can treat it like a role-play." He returned to the bed, and lowered himself with his knees either side of Johnny's legs. "How about this? _I_ can be the alpha, _you_ can be the omega..."

Taeil leaned in to kiss him. Johnny was momentarily speechless.

"Is that okay?" Taeil asked him.

Johnny pulled Taeil back close to him, so he could submerge himself in his lover's scent. "Of course. I never thought you'd ask."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me for being so late to post this! This is technically the end of the story, but I have a bonus, epilogue chapter in the works :)


	21. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two years on, Taeyong meets his friends for a celebration.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally it's finished! I've been working on this universe since mid 2017, and I originally planned a story that focused on the relationship of Yutae, with Johnny and Doyoung as side characters, but I scrapped that and later revisited the universe with Johnny the "activist alpha" at the centre. It's been a long journey...
> 
> Even if I never said so, the comments I received influenced the direction of the story. I had a bunch of alternate endings, but I settled on what was probably the most natural ending, thanks to the guidance of the readers. All the readers who left comments are the real MVPs! Kudos and bookmarks are also appreciated, and to all the lurkers who read the story and enjoyed it in secret - yes, I appreciate you too :)
> 
> If you got this far, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!

_Two Years Later_

 

Taeyong started his day sitting on the bathroom sink; the first time in many months that he had been strong enough to do so. He liked the feeling of the cold basin against his skin, the faucet poking into his back, combined with the great discomfort of being stretched around a knot. For some reason the heightened discomfort made it feel more satisfying. And these precious moments he could be alone with his husband were becoming rarer, which also made them more special.

Yuta moved only slightly, as he held onto Taeyong's waist protectively, occasionally kissing his lips. Knotting always made him emotional, and he was being especially tender with Taeyong this morning.

If sex for Yuta was emotional, for Taeyong it had always been the vanity of being able to please his husband. Right now it was merely the reassurance that his husband still found him attractive. In this awkward and passive position in the sink, he was not in a position to show off, and he held Yuta's body close to his.

When the knot finally died down, and they broke apart, Taeyong stayed sitting in the sink, while Yuta's seed flowed down his thigh. Yuta returned to help wipe him clean.

It was new to have Yuta care for him so tenderly like this. In the past Taeyong had always insisted on being the one to take care of his alpha, but now his body had become delicate and weak. In a little more time he would regain his strength, but he wasn't sure if things would ever be the same between them. The rules had shifted, and in some ways they were constantly shifting.

"You always were a boy who loved attention," Yuta said teasingly, as Taeyong sighed from his touch.

"I love attention when it comes from you," he admitted. "But nowadays you only have eyes for Touma. I have to compete."

"Should I feed you and bathe you like Touma too?"

"You are bathing me..."

Yuta helped him to his feet. "Are you okay? I hope I wasn't too rough with you."

He had been anything but rough, and Taeyong felt almost offended. "I'm an omega, I can handle it."

"I know, but sometimes I think you neglect your own comfort. You're not the only person who cares, you know." He came closer to kiss Taeyong's forehead. "Ever since we had Touma, my protective instincts have surged. I actually feel like a real alpha now - now that I have to protect Touma and his dad."

Taeyong curled up against Yuta's chest, so that Yuta could hold him.

He had feared becoming less of an omega as he aged. It happened to everyone; as omegas got older they lost the intensity of their heats and the headiness of their scents. On top of that, the act of having a child had made him feel unfamiliar with his own body. He felt like he needed Yuta's sex to make him feel like himself again.

After a minute they broke apart. "I think he will be awake soon. We should get ready."

 

* * *

 

When Taeyong had first come home from hospital, Hansol had come over to help him with cooking and running the house. Taeyong was embarrassed to accept the help, but he quickly realised that he did in fact need it. Hansol had cared for him a long time ago, when he had first been relocated from the care centre as a child. The loneliness of growing up in a care centre was part of the reason Taeyong had longed for a family of his own, but now he realised that Hansol had looked after him too. They had never been especially close, but Taeyong became grateful for his presence.

He was coming over again that morning to help with the preparation for Touma's 100th day celebration. Parties still made Taeyong weary, but most of his friends had not met Touma yet and he knew they were curious.

Hansol brought his son Minyeol, who sat quietly and obediently with his book, while Hansol chatted to him and prepared the food he had brought. Hansol also had a younger child, whom he had left under the care of his partner. Taeyong had thought Hansol was crazy for wanting another child when the first one had been so difficult for him, but he could see now that Hansol had a natural manner and fondness for children that made him a good parent.

Taeyong did not think he had the same knack for speaking to children, and he wondered what his own relationship with Touma would be like. When Touma got upset it was usually Yuta that calmed him down. Touma had a Korean name, Dongjin, but Yuta only spoke to him in Japanese, so the Japanese name had stuck. They had agreed that they wanted Touma to grow up with both languages, but Taeyong now worried that he would be slow to learn Korean.

Hansol offered him some food before the guests arrived. "You are looking a lot stronger today."

Taeyong took the plate. "Thank you. I feel stronger."

He still felt a little anxious about the guests coming. He had not seen much of Ten or Doyoung recently, since they had been overseas. Johnny and Taeil had visited him in hospital, and they had been receiving updates about the baby, but they were both busy with work and Taeyong had not been in the mood to receive guests.

Touma cried from his room, and Taeyong put down the plate. He had just woken up and he would be hungry. He thanked Hansol for the food, and went to feed and dress the baby.

By the time the guests arrived, Touma was clean and happy. When the doorbell rang, Taeyong allowed Yuta to open it, while he went to keep himself busy in the kitchen.

Ten immediately went to coo over the baby, and after a minute he came to look for Taeyong.

"You must be so proud!" he said, grabbing Taeyong's hand. "You two made such a pretty baby."

"I think he takes after Yuta the most."

"No, I think he looks like you! How are you recovering?"

"I can't remember the last time I had a full night of sleep..."

"Of course, it's hard right?"

"Yuta is really great though, he's really good with the baby." He paused and looked around the kitchen. "Hansol also came here to look after me a lot, and show me how to do things. I felt surprised..."

Ten smiled. "Why? Omegas always look after each other!"

Hansol was in the living room area. Minyeol had asked if he could hold the baby and the adults were supervising him. Johnny and Taeil had arrived, and they were talking to Hansol.

"You always see Johnny and Taeil together these days," Ten commented. "The council won't recognise their relationship, but everyone knows they are together. They look like such a perfect couple."

Taeyong shrugged. "I think in the future, alphas will date betas and no one will care. The more it happens, the more they'll realise they can't stop it."

Taeil was generally respected by the alpha-cohort, because he had become something of a successful entrepreneur. The controversial matter was the fact that Johnny dating such a successful beta lowered his own status as an alpha (which of course, Johnny didn't care about). Furthermore, Johnny had become something of a troublemaker for his role in a number of alpha-omega divorce cases. He had initially helped Hansol with his divorce from Dr Shin, which was a simple matter considering that both sides were willing to end to the marriage will almost no ill feeling. Dr Shin even admitted that he had only married Hansol because he wanted a child, and after that failed experiment, he saw the cruelty of his decision. The complicated part of the case was getting some recognition of the relationship between Hansol and his omega partner, and in particular the legal recognition of their children. This had been something Johnny had been focused on for a while, and the success of the case was significant in legal terms. But naturally the idea of omegas being able to raise children without an alpha partner caused a stir.

Taeyong was cautious about interrupting their conversation, but when he did eventually wander over, they greeted him warmly.

"It's great to see you looking healthy again," Taeil said. "Albeit a little tired..."

"Would you like to hold him?" Taeyong asked. He collected the child from the blanket on the rug, and passed him over to Taeil.

"Wow, he's so tiny."

He and Johnny cooed and spoke to the child, while Taeyong watched. He thought they looked so lovely together, even more so when holding the baby. Yuta came over, and put his hand on his waist. Taeyong turned to look at him, and felt suddenly very content.

Johnny took the baby from Taeil and held him awkwardly. He wriggled around in Johnny's hands.

"Do you know if he's going to be an alpha or omega?"

"We aren't sure yet. It's too early to tell."

"I guess it shouldn't matter," Johnny said. "He's going to grow up differently to the way we did. He'll have this family around him, I think he will grow up well regardless of being an alpha or an omega."

Touma started to fuss, so Johnny handed him back to Taeyong. In Taeyong's arms, he settled, and pulled at the collar of Taeyong's shirt while making happy noises. He felt the same contentment, and he was warmed by Johnny's comments. He believed that this child that he was now responsible for would have a good life.


End file.
